The Diary of the Devil

The Diary of the Devil [14]

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Max snorts in her sleep. It's a really funny thing to hear, and the first time I did I couldn't stop laughing. 

We woke up early, just to make sure my parents didn't walk in on us and assume the worst. As I was getting dressed Max rolled over in her sleep, and promptly fell off the bed. When she hit the floor she made a funny sound.

I laughed. "Smooth."

She groaned, lifting her body up, steadying herself on the edge of my bedside table. "I don't feel so good."

I shrugged. "Maybe it was that dive you just took. It usually hurts when you fall on the floor, Max."

She rolled her eyes at me. "I meant like I'm sick."

"Medic! Medic! We need some help!" I shouted, waving my arms frantically. In a panicked rush, Max jumped over my bed and tackled her hand to my mouth, silencing me efficiently. 

"Shh!" she ordered. "If your parents hear me in here they might make me go back home."

I gave her a blank stare. "Your home is an inch from mine."

"So? I can't go back there right now. My mom is being weird and emotional and my dad is being a douche bag. Let them settle it by themselves."

"Fine, fine. I'll shut up."

"Finally, peace at last." She fell back on my bed. "Put on a shirt, fool. You look like a tramp."

"Get off my bed, you're sick!" I shooed her off. "Ah, jeez, now there's Max germs on it."

She put a hand on her stomach. "Ow," she groaned. 

"Want an aspirin?"

"No, I really don't. I'd rather have some Midol." She shot me a pleading look. I didn't quite understand what it meant. "Think, Greyson. What do girls get every month?"

"A new pair of shoes?" I guessed blindly.

She rolled her eyes. "Their period, jackass."

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" I demanded.

"Go get me tampons."

"From where?" I folded my arms across my chest.

"I don't know just-"

"Grey?" my mom called from downstairs. "Aren't you coming down for breakfast?" We heard the creak of the stairs and our eyes simultaneously widened. I motioned Max into my closet. She flipped me the bird, but hid anyway.

The door opened a bit, but I pushed my body against it and poked my head out, staring at my mother incredulously. 

"Mom!"

"Greyson!"

"Why would you just walk into my room unexpectedly like that? I'm naked!" I gestured to my bare torso, which was the only thing she could see.

She lifted an eyebrow. "Uh-huh." Then she pushed against the door and walked inside. When she saw my jean clad legs she laughed at my flushed face.

Pinching my cheeks, she said, "You can't fool your mother, baby."

"Well, what if I really was naked?" I countered.

"I've seen you naked before, sweetheart."

"Yeah, but not recently." The last time she saw me in my birthday suit was when I was about fifteen. It  was so embarrassing. At least I wasn't jerking it, or anything.