The Informant

Chapter Seven

"I agreed to another date." I told Samantha over the phone. To say I hadn't been excited for this date tonight would have been a lie. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up, and I knew I shouldn't leave my heart on my sleeve. I'd do me some good if I could leave my heart out of the mix, which is exactly what I intended to do.

I pulled the phone away from my ear while she squealed, "Geez babe, you trying to bust my eardrum?"

"You gonna do him? You got someone to watch Julian yet? God, I'm so fûcking happy. Have you shaved yet? And please, for the love of God, ditch the 80's landing strip! Oh, wear your red bra and matching see-through panties. Has he picked a place yet?" She threw question after question at me.

I chuckled, "No, I haven't found a sitter yet, wanna watch him? And what's wrong with my landing strip?"

"It's a landing strip, what's right about it? Plus, we aren't in the 80's anymore."

"But, I liked the 80's."

"Men these days like it bare, babe." She clarified.

"But it hurts when it grows back in." I whined.

"Maybe you should-"

"There is no way in hell I'm getting waxed, Samantha. Have you seen the videos? Nu-uh, not this chick." I interrupted.

She laughed, "It doesn't hurt as bad as you think, wuss. But anyways, you're giving him a chance?" I could hear the hopefulness in her voice and I couldn't understand why she wanted this so bad.

"I don't know, we'll see. The sex was good. Maybe just friends-with-benefits. That's not bad right?" I asked. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted out of Dante. I knew I liked the sex, but I also knew his game, and I'm not down to play. But, I knew I didn't want to put myself in the position of getting hurt again, once was more than enough.

"No... Momma's need love too." She said, "Look, I know you're scared of getting hurt, I don't want that either. But if you're going to just be FWB's then make sure you're both on the same page. And don't expect more from him, if you think you're about to fall in love, Mia, you either let him know, or you pull out. Otherwise things will get messy." She explained.

Things were already messy. "I know, but I don't plan on falling. After Logan... I just need to find myself again."

"Yes you do. But, that doesn't mean you have to be all work and no play. Don't forget to have fun while finding yourself, Mia."

She was right, it didn't have to be all work. I knew I wasn't the same person I was before Logan. I'm just now recovering that hidden part of Mia. She'd buried herself into a deep hole. Believe me, I was trying my damnedest to make her resurface, but it was a lot harder than I had imagined.

Samantha and I said our quick good-byes and I sat on the floor of the living room to play cars with Julian. My dark hair, green eyed baby was growing to quickly. His Chinese-like talk warmed my heart, like most things he'd do. After dumb-ass and I split, he was in Julian's life all of four months before he became 'too busy'. He slowly started to make excuses. Stating he 'had to stay at work late.' It was honestly no surprise there, he'd never had time for Julian or I when we were together.

Julian maneuvered his toy car around the carpeted floor, making the inevitable vroom-vroom noise along with it. He insisted on having the toy car upside-down, no matter how many times I'd shown him the correct way. And every time I'd crash my car into his, he'd laugh until he fell backwards onto the floor, always brightening my face with a smile.

When Logan had walked out of his life, it broke me more than anything he'd ever done to me personally. My baby didn't deserve that, no child does. I still to this day cried for Julian. I had tried several times to get him to spend time with him, but like my mother always said, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't force him to drink. So, I'd given up, he'd be the one to miss out on such a phenomenal child.