you love me?

04

washington dc, wednesday at 5:16pm

"kenadee man what do you mean she called out your name and you didn't do nothin??, i meannnn how loud was she bc to be honestttt i woulda knocked on the door"

i stared at my friend vivian with nothing to say, it's almost like she could feel what she said was stupid and went back to eating the fries on her tray dipping them in the ketchup.

"viv.... please.. i don't know why everyone is surprised, i heard through a friend of another friend that apparently she was supposed to be doing this ignoring thing with you, where she doesn't talk to you" my other friend Jélan blurted out while struggling to get the last of her milkshake from the bottom of her cup

viv sprung from her seat jaw dropped and she damnnear screams out "well who gave you the hook up like that????? the fuck!?" she took the words out of my mouth but now everyone's fucking staring

"vivian sit your loud ass down, you literally stopped everyone in a 30 mile radius i can hear a pin drop!" i whisper-shouted as i gripped tightly onto her shoulder looking at her irritated

soon after we all sat in silence eating our food, the commotion of the crowd in the cafe got louder and people were minding their business again, so i turned my attention to Jélan.

"what do you mean she was supposed to be 'ignoring me'??? she literally talked to me the other day when-" i stopped my sentence short before admitting that i asked my ex of all people for $5 but of course vivian just had to catch it.

"when what??? oh my god see~ jj? i knew she walked in on her!"

"ugh no! i didn't walk in or knock on the door when i heard her yesterday im talking about a few weeks ago..."

vivian and now even jélan looked at me with concern in their eye

"..i mean i asked her for five dollars but it was nothing serious you know what i mean????"

"uh. no nigga no we don't know what you mean, had it been my ex asking me i'da told you to fuck off n die!!!.... well maybe not cause you ain't do nothing wrong but still!" jélan scoffed at vivian knowing she was lying through her teeth.

"vivian if anything you'd be giving that girl some just out of boredom, acting like you ain't fuck your ex all while knowing she had a girlfriend???"

"uh no bitch that'd be prostitution! and so what? i said that pussy was and always will be mine and i meant it, clearly she did too!"

"boooo! go home!!! the crowd has dispersed already corny ass nigga" jélan immediately retorted back stealing a chuckle out of me.

"viv you need help.. like real life help babe, im going to bed though because i have to finish some homework and besides.. the crowd has literally dispersed..." i look down at my watch seeing as the time was now 6:30pm and we had been there since 2pm, i swear time is just flying by nowadays???

vivian looked around and gasped not thinking i was being serious and her face dropped looking over at jélan with a sad look in her eyes

"why you say that man...?"

"well.. did i lie?" we all get up throwing our paper trays out and saying bye to the lunch ladies and the janitor, Mr. Otis, i threw my bag over my shoulder also waving bye to my friends since we lived in different areas.

Jélan lived off campus in her own studio apartment, it's so nicely decorated i almost wonder how she can afford or even decorate it with how rent and prices are starting to look, but then again whenever the starting tuition went out i never heard her complain a peep about the price and that shit is STEEP without a scholarship or rich ass parents.. i mean i've only known her for so long, i don't know which one it is.

— and Vivian was in volleyball, so she had a separate athletes building that she lived in independently after gaining a full ride scholarship because of her insane physicality and teamwork on the court, but ever since we met in middle school she's always been like that, athletic yet dumb as fuck, she's literally a stereotype?? unfortunately i've never been the "athletic" type, but i've ALWAYS showed up to her games even if i wasn't in the mood if that meant seeing how happy she got.. considering her mom could never make it.

but onto more positive things? i only have like four essays to start for these classes before they are due on friday.. mind you i was assigned them 2 weeks ago, would being a psychology major and then knowing exactly WHY you're procrastinating because you learned it through the subject be a good decision to stay or not forreal? because honestly it's not feeling that way..

i fumbled through my front pocket trying to find my dorm keys but only feeling my chapstick, and then my wallet and then my phone, curse me for buying and wearing mens jeans' today

i heard shoes clacking down the hallway and as i was still fumbling through my pockets, i heard them get closer to me then abruptly stop where i was so i looked up then to my right then eventually my left standing face to face with xemena, she had mascara running down her face, as a stoned expression sat on her face and she looked like she had just came from a dinner, i looked her up and down seeing one of her heel was broken, she held it in one hand with her purse with her dorm keys in her other hand, she pushed me out of the way as she unlocked the door not looking back at me letting it damn near shut in my face.

"..thank you..?? hey xeme-" she slammed her room door in my face i could hear her bluetooth speaker connect as she blasted sza while rummaging through her stuff it seemed, i took a step away from her door and went into my room shutting the door wondering why she was that upset in the first place..

i shook the uneasy feeling i had and took my clothes off before sitting on my bed and starting up two out of four of my essays, starting with the ones that have the easy thesis' they were still hard towards the end though, i was half asleep, nodding off before i hit submit for those assignments immediately closing my laptop and passing out after pulling the covers over myself.
__________________________________

okay i know i knowww it's been three years, y'all don't even care about this book anymore but i got bored..

and i'm writing the second chapter as we speak sooo 🤗🤗