𝗢𝗯𝗲𝘆 𝗠𝗲! 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗪𝗲 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗲?

online buddy (leviathan)

hi! this chapter will have sensitive topics mentioned (insecurity, purging). if you dont like any of this, feel free to read a different chapter. thank you! :)

lowercase intended.

also, i didnt rlly think it through until i began writing that this does not make sense. sooo in this chapter, there wasnt an exchange program and u and levi jst met online! u dont know he's a demon, and he doesnt know youre human (irrelevant info but jst yeah)

you used to not think twice about writing messages or playing games on your silly little phone. you never did think twice, you just.. had fun. especially with your online buddy, leviathan. you two were nearly inseparable.

you two met in a game, then began to get closer and closer as the months went by a bit faster than usual, yet your friendship remained strong and unbreakable. but your self-confidence didn't remain that way.

now, you hardly talked to him. you couldn't even hold your phone without feeling pissed at your reflection on the small screen, leading to your now small screen time.

ever since you began to take better care of yourself, you've only been getting called names. names you dont appreciate. you couldn't help but hate everything they said. why couldn't they just be content?

with gentle pitter-patter on the tiles of the bathroom, your hand reached for the switch, turning on the awfully bright light as you stared into the mirror in front of you, touching your face as your expression contorts into one of disgust. your fingers traced the shape of your jawline, the shape of your cheeks, and the curve of your lip. yet, all you could feel wasn't relief, but disgust.

you remembered those words-the damned bullshit you constantly heard like a cycle. you hated it. every awful moment, every damned syllable, every motion of their lips as they talked to you.

with hesitation, you glanced at your hand, then your toilet. no. "you can't do that. you healed already, right?" you thought, the thoughts in your head painfully ripping you into two. should you do it, or should you not do it?

you couldn't help it. you felt disgusting-extremely disgusting. your body felt like a vessel you didn't wanna be in. The way your eyes traced over your figure in your own bathroom mirror made you wanna throw up rainbows in pure disgust.

kneeling, you shut your eyes in front of your toilet. you felt it. the same familiar feeling going up your throat.

it had been hours since then, you find yourself eating as you finally replied to your best friend, receiving multiple 'are you okay?' and 'i missed you's from him. you felt guilty, yet you knew it couldn't be helped.

Leviathan:
LOL im so glad youre back!

you missed soooo much from the recent updates

play?

You:
cant, sorry. feeling sick rn

Leviathan:
it's okay

get well soon!

😺

you smiled a bitter smile. your guts clenched as you felt the overwhelming guilt of shutting him down again. yet, it was better than forcing yourself to act like you were genuinely okay.

each bite felt like bittersweet torture. yet you couldnt stop eating due to the flavours of the food hitting your tongue. you wanted to stop, but you couldn't.

until, you received a message from leviathan.

Leviathan:
idk what's going on on your end but youve been different lately:(

lol r u okay? /gen

well i wont force you to talk but im worried ykwim(ー_ー;)

i just

idk

whatever it is you're dealing with, i hope it isnt that tough

might be tough, but you're tougher, player 2! d=(^o^)=b

you couldnt help but smile. it was obvious he tried his best to comfort you despite his struggle in doing so. your online buddy really was the best.

- end

HI i am so sorry if this wasnt reallt that nice. i didnt put much though into it until i reached half this chapter and realised 'wth this doesnt make sense'. lol.

always remember that regardless of what anyone says, you're already good-looking. dont bring yourself down! 🫶 it might be hard to see it, but you're uniquely good-looking. loveuall!