pills ✧ tronnor

seven

Connor and I spent at least half an hour on the roof, sat with our legs dangling over the edge whilst we talked about the simplest things. I learned that his favourite colour is maroon and that he enjoys photography; that he's a cat person rather than a dog person and that he has two cats at his family home in Minnesota. It was nice to discuss things that weren't related to our conditions and our current location. In some ways, it helped me to forget about everything that had happened during the previous few days, even if it was just for half an hour or so.

"We should probably head back down now. We've been gone a while and no doubt they'll already be looking for us. Come on." Connor sighed, getting to his feet and stepping away from the edge before offering me a hand. I took it and he slowly pulled me to my feet, leading me away from the edge and back towards the stairs. Luckily, this time, he went first. As we neared the bottom, Connor became far more cautious, freezing at the slightest noise and listening intently before continuing our descent. Carefully and slowly, he pushed open the door and looked both ways before pulling me out and closing the door firmly.

The corridor, much to my appreciation, was empty and there was no one around - we were safe. Or so I thought. The first thing I caught sight of once Connor had closed the door was a security camera in the corner of the corridor.

"We're still going to get caught, you idiot!" I argued, a little too loudly, pointing to the camera.

Connor followed my finger and studied the camera for a second before chuckling to himself and shaking his head. "You think I hadn't already thought about that? Don't worry, I deactivated it a while ago. They've tried getting people in to fix it but it doesn't work. Besides, they don't know anyone comes down here, they aren't too bothered about it working anymore. So we're safe, don't worry your pretty little self." he smirked, pinching my cheek.

I brushed his hand away in frustration, glaring at the camera once more before heading down the corridor back towards the main area. I tried not to stomp my feet too much in annoyance as I walked away - I didn't want bombarding with questions from Connor asking if he'd offended me or whatever.

"Where you off to in such a hurry, Troye boy?" I stopped, yet didn't turn around to look at him. In all honesty, I had no reason for storming off - he hadn't done anything.

"I forgot to take my medication this morning, I should probably go take it." I lied, impressed with how I'd come up with it so quickly under pressure. I continued walking, my arms folded across my chest.

"Oh, okay." Connor called after me. "See you around."

I smiled to myself as I turned a corner, stepping out of Connor's sight. As I headed back to my room, no plan of taking medication in my mind, all I could do was try to ignore the butterflies going crazy in my stomach. Damn those green eyes.

--

"So, how are you feeling today?" Rosa asked in a monotonous voice, like she'd already asked this question enough times before visiting me to have become fed up of asking. I knew that probably wasn't the case, but with it being a routine procedure, it wouldn't surprise me.

I shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I just want to go home."

Rosa smiled sympathetically and scribbled something down in my notes. "Has your medication been helping at all?"

I hesitated before answering. As far as I was aware, I didn't feel any different after taking my medication. Not that it surprised me, since they weren't even one-hundred-percent sure that I actually needed to be taking the stuff, they just thought it might help. Maybe it was helping, I just didn't feel any different physically nor mentally. "I suppose so."

"And how are you finding it here now you've had chance to settle in a bit?"

I didn't know how to answer the question. Of course I wanted to tell her that I hated it, that I didn't feel as though I belonged there and that I didn't understand why I'd been admitted in the first place; I'd only agreed to it in order to make my parents feel reassured. Yet, I also wanted to tell her that in my two days there, I'd already found a friend who's company I extremely enjoyed, and that his eyes were incredibly mesmerising whenever you looked into them. Not that I'd know, of course.

"I mean, it's alright. I don't particularly want to be here though, but who does?"

Rosa nodded slowly and wrote some more in my notes before closing my file and looking me in the eyes. "I understand how you feel. Really, I do. I know it's not easy to come to terms with your condition and the reasons behind why you're here, and I don't blame you for not feeling like you belong here. Nobody belongs here, and I know that sounds heartless, but let me explain. Mental health is important, and if something's disrupting the balance, it's not something that should be taken lightly. Troye, you attempted suicide. I don't know what's triggered it and if you want to talk about it, initiate the conversation and I'll listen. But you are depressed, Troye. You may not admit it to yourself but deep down inside, you know you are. Your mental health is our priority and we're going to help you get back on the right track. Just stick with us, okay?"

I nodded slowly. "Okay, I can do that."

She smiled. "I believe in you, Mr Mellet. And I know you can get better if you belie in yourself just like I believe in you."

As she stood up to leave, she placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently yet reassuringly. "It's never going to be easy. But as long as you don't give up on yourself like no one else has given up on you, you'll make progress like you never thought possible. You'll be okay, Troye, I promise."