Summer nights Phan AU

Chapter 3

Dan's POV
I woke up pretty late that morning at the time of 11:30am. I had slept for five and a half hours. This was a long time for me. Usually i would only have 2-3hours sleep because no matter how hard i tried, i was never able to shut my mind down for the night and block out my thoughts. However last night was different because for once in my life i felt so much happier going to bed. The reason for this was because i spoke to a guy named Phil Lester. I felt like i connected with him and for some strange reason i felt like i could trust him which is incredibly insane for me as i'm such a socially awkward person who hates every part of human interaction because i just feel like i am annoying that person or that that person is judging me in some way.

Okay, i didn't tell Phil much about me apart from the fact that i design game covers to earn money to pay my rent but i did tell him that i would explain the reason why i was feeling so trashy last night.
This was definitely my most personal subject to talk about to someone as it is the reason i am such a pessimist and so socially awkward. So i really must trust Phil because no way in hell would i just tell a random person. I haven't even told my family so i guess Phil is in somewhat special and different to anyone i've ever met before. I don't even know how maybe it's because of his kind and loving personality that seemed to seep through the messages he sent me last night.
OMG!! I'm going to have to tell Phil later about my anxiety. Omg!! It's today!! Fuck i'm so nervous.
Oh, well it looks like i have re- entered my mind full of dark thoughts again and left the world that seemed so bright and happy. Oh darn it, i knew it wouldn't last long.
How am i even going to bring it up to him??
Do i wait for him to ask me?? Or do i just tell him because after all he probably is expecting it.
Or maybe if he doesn't bring it up i can just not tell him.

Oh how i would love to munch on some malteasers right now. Maybe it would help distract me from my trails of these thoughts again.
It would seem stupid to order some online from the mall wouldn't it. I don't need anything else because i only just had a delivery two days ago. Ughhh.... I'm not willing to face the public though to get some. I'll just go without.
2 hours later i found myself munching away on Malteasers. Yes i had gone out to the shop to buy some. I had forced myself to do this. As much as i hated going to the shops, Malteasers were the only thing that could really distract me from my thoughts, i guess this was because i could concentrate on the texture, taste and the all round deliciousness.
Why did i have to have social anxiety?? Honestly it drives me nuts. I feel so detached from everything and anything as i walk around outside. I feel as if everything is closing in on me, trapping me and judging me in some way. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Why me?? The only place i feel safe is in my apartment because i'm alone and i know that nothing could ever judge me or humiliate me in some way. But sometimes it does get a little boring and lonely. I wish i had the confidence to interact with other people. But i guess this how past experiences effect you in the long run. I'm not going to go in to detail on that.

7:35pm
After hours of thinking and munching on Malteasers i decided that i was going to watch a movie to pass the time because i had no work to do today. Thursdays were always quite. I decided upon 'Jurassic Park' , i had watched this movie so so so many times and it never got boring.
I placed the disc in to the dvd player and pressed play. Just as the credits were coming to the end my cell pinged. I jumped at the sudden loud noise. I quickly jumped up from the couch and picked up my phone from the kitchen worktop. Before i looked at who the message was from, i had a feeling it was going to be from Phil and guess what i was right.
A smile reached my lips as i realized it was Phil. It read "Hello x" I stared at it for while buzzing with excitement but also a wave of anxiety as i realized i was probably going to have to explain to Phil about that subject that i hated so much. For now though, i was going to just try my best to ignore it and hope that he doesn't bring it up so i didn't have to tell him.
I replied back with "Hi". This probably looked and sounded awkward but i was an all round awkward guy and i could not help that.
A short while after Phil had replied. I opened up the message and it said:
Phil: "What have you been up to today or what are you going to do?? x"