You want kids, you've always wanted kids and so has kenan. There is nothing the two have you have wanted more, but one doctors visit changed it all...
a few years ago...
You and kenan had booked an appointment with the doctor after trying to have a baby for several months and being unsuccessful. But never in a million years did you think you would hear the words.
"I don't think you'll be able to have kids..."
Your heart sunk. The world around you went quiet. The doctor was speaking to you but you wasn't listening all you could hear was "i don't think you'll be able to have kids" over and over and over again.
You left the appointment empty... like someone had taken something from you.
You and kenan sat in the car for awhile in silence. You felt guilty. This wasn't his fault, this was yours... Your the one who can't have kids.
As much as you tried to fight back the tears, when kenan rested his hand on your thigh you broke down. "i'm sorry..." you cried out.
Kenan wraps his arms around you, to comfort you. "shh shh shhh" he hushes. "It's not your fault baby..." he whispers.
And since that day, you and kenan hadn't talked about kids. But that all changes now...
present day...
Ever since you woke up this morning, you've felt off. Your overly tried, you have back pains and you've just started throwing up.
Your a mess...
Usually kenan would be by your side, holding your hair up while rubbing your back, giving you kisses, telling you he loves you, but today he had training and was gone before you woke up. So until kenan gets home, your looking after yourself.
You stand up slowly and stumble back slightly on your feet, feeling lightheaded. You hold your hands out and reach for the bathroom counter to steady yourself. Once you felt grounded, you reached down opening a drawer to find a paracetamol.
As you rummage through the drawer, you find a pregnancy test. It's new, not opened. You had hope, you always had hope.
You pull the test out of the drawer and slowly unbox it. Your heart is racing. You can't be pregnant... As much as you wanna be, as much as you and kenan have tried, you know you can't get pregnant.
You let out a deep sigh, trying to let go of the small pieces that hope you could have a baby. But something inside you is telling you to take the test.
So you do...
Once you've taken the test, you place it on the bathroom counter and set a timer on your phone. You turn your back on the test and close your eyes, as a voice in your head starts to get louder and louder.
"You can't be pregnant... you were told you can't have kids... but maybe they were wrong... maybe i'm wrong... or maybe..."
The voice in your head gets cut off by the timer.
"RING RING RING"
This is it.
You've taken so many tests before, but this feels different. This could be the moment that would change your life forever.
You take a few steps towards the bathroom counter and close your eyes while taking a deep breath. You slowly reach out for the test and turn it over.
IT'S POSITIVE!!!
Your mouth drops and your eyes immediately tear up. Two bright blue lines! You can't believe it. The doctors were wrong.
You wipe away your tears of happiness and decide to take another test just to be 100% sure you really are pregnant.
You take another test and wait a few minutes. When the timer goes off, you flip the test over... TWO BLUE LINES. YOU REALLY ARE PREGNANT.
"I'm pregnant" you whisper to yourself.
You pick both of the tests up and look at them through your teary eyes, letting out a soft laugh. Your really pregnant.
As you look at the tests, you hear your phone ding. You look over at your phone. It's a message from kenan.
Kenan: just left training bubs. see you soon. x
"fuck" you whisper.
You place the tests back on the bathroom counter then look at yourself in the mirror.
You look like a mess.
You quickly wipe away your tears and splash your face with water, trying to cover the fact you've been crying.
You put the rubbish from the pregnancy test boxes in the bin and pick up the two postive pregnancy tests. Just as you look at them smiling you hear the front door open.
"bubs..." kenan shouts
Fuck... That was quick. You thought to yourself.
You put the pregnancy tests in your pocket and rush out of the bathroom, quickly make your way downstairs, where you see kenan putting his bags down in the hallway.
"Hi baby" you say, skipping down the last few stairs.
Kenan looks at you... He knows you've been crying... You know he knows.
You make your way towards him and give him a quick peck on the lips.
"You been crying?" He asks, gently stroking your cheek.
"Umm..." you catch your words. You would love to surprise him, get a little football jersey and a baby scan. But you can't help yourself. You need him to know...
"i'm pregnant" you whisper.
Kenan looks at you confused "what" he asks.
Your eyes fill up with tears again. "I'm pregnant" you say, pulling the pregnancy tests out of your pocket to show kenan.
His mouth drops as he takes the tests from your hand and sees the TWO BLUE LINES. His eyes flick back and forth from each test.
"really" he asks, looking back up at you with tears in his eyes.
"really" you say, smiling as a tear rolls down your cheek.
Kenan lets out a soft laugh of disbelief "we're having a baby" he says, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. "this is all we've ever wanted" he says, kissing the top of your head.
You stay wrapped up in kenans arms for a moment, before you slowly pull back.
"I'm gonna be a mama" you say, still in complete shock as kenan cups your cheeks. "Your gonna be the best mama in the world" he says, wiping away the tears that are falling from your eyes then resting his forehead against yours.
"Our little miracle" he whispers, before gently pecking your lips.
And he's right, this baby is your little miracle.
You both were once told you wouldn't be able to have kids. And now your here. Growing your little miracle.
