picture perfect

The day of ...

The diamond of the universe was hanging up in the sky of the blue globe, shining bright. It provided the light of the day for our land as the sky turned a lighter shade of blue with a few clouds swimming here and there. The illumination caused the plants and the trees to stretch and open their flowers as they slowly woke up for a new summer's day. The animals shuffled out of their territory and stepped into the bright light to soak up its warmth.

So, did I. Slowly, I heaved a sigh and rolled my neck to liberate my muscles from the painful tension as the small window authorised the sunlight to pass through, which heated my skin. I stretched my arms above my head to arouse my rigid muscles, whilst glimpsing at Declan.

"Wake up," I whispered, but you won't be hearkening that, of course.

I stood up and walked towards the window with my arms crossed over my chest. As cars drove by and people walked by I leisurely inundated in that noise.

It should solace me, it should, and alas it doesn't. There isn't even one ounce of consolation in an unnerving tune instead it horrifies the shit out of me, because what if it instantaneously surceases. What if the beep comes to a halt?

That can't happen. It won't occur. I shook my head to propel those thoughts out of my mind into a fanciful dustbin. Multiple knocks from the other side of the white wooden door reverberated through the four impeccably chalky-coloured walls, causing me to peek at the intruder of the quietude.

Declan's mum stepped into the room before his dad. After she had assessed Declan's state she peeped at the Holter monitor. At the sight of the ongoing electrocardiogram Declan's mum sighed in relief as her eyes retorted the despondency she was enduring from inside out.

His heart is still alive. Though, what about his soul?

His dad's eyes shone with a shimmer of vulnerable hope. The conflagration in him had died out to a miniature fire, which his mum and I were deprived off. We threw in the towel with the fire and it burned. It went up in smoke. It was ablaze until it had fabricated in ash.

I'm so sorry.

I wish I were stronger, Declan.

I really do.

I wish I had more hope.

But I am weak.

And I miss you.

A hand on my cheek acquired my attention to notice it was Declan's mum. She regarded me with tiredness etched on her posture. Her hand on my cheek was shaking, so I grabbed a hold of it with both my hands. She smiled feebly, making the corners of her eyes wrinkle.

"You should go home, honey," she said. Each word was softer than the first one as if someone was unquestionably gathering the life out of her.

I slothfully bobbed my head in conformity as I ran a hand through my oily hair.

I should take a rest, but I don't wish to leave, not willingly at least.

"We'll call you if there is any news," his dad added, whilst patting me on my shoulder. He pitifully glanced at me before taking a seat on the chair I was slumbering.

"Thank you," I croaked, but it pained me to do so. Instead of glissading out without a hitch, the words gingerly clambered up my throat, so they wouldn't tumble down. The dryness and the ache had made it a hazardous mountain for the words.

After glimpsing on more time at Declan's serene form I left to the security of my mum's arms.

She held onto me until I let the darkness drag me into its abyss. She held onto me until my eyes – a well – had been deterged, unconditionally. She held onto me until my heart squeezed so painfully that I passed out.

And I let the blackness take me. Maybe, it would present me with some tranquillity. But, it didn't. Whilst, the darkness pulled me in deeper and deeper to its pit where it would make me drown in the black ocean of nightmares, I trashed in bed and unwittingly screamed and shrieked to be manumitted of this torture. All the joyous l memories I had were thieved from the bank by the darkness and diversified in cruel ways. And I told it to stop; to cease the torment.

It never did.

I awoke to Freya's face hovering above mine. "You're awake," she exclaimed happily as she sat up on my lap. I couldn't help but let my face mask into a smile, pushing the sorrow away, momentarily.

"How's Declan?" she questioned, slapping her hands against my cheeks. I grabbed her wrists and kissed each palm, causing her to squeal. Afterwards, Freya looked up at me with immense inquisitiveness crowding in her irises, making me answer groggily, "He's fine."

She processed my words with abstruse attentiveness, making her eyebrows curl up as she pursed her lip. "Now," I drawled as I got out of bed with Freya, who clung to my neck, "I have to shower and then I'll go to the hospital again."

"Can I come with you?" I glanced at her once and saw her pouting at me.

"No," I replied sternly, whilst trying to not look at her face.

"But,-" she started, however I interrupted her.

"I said no, Freya."

"Fine." She pouted and crossed her arms, whilst squirming in my hold. I let her go and she literally stomped out of my room, childishly. You would've been proud of that. "I want Declan," she mumbled outside my room and I sighed.

I busied myself, so my thoughts wouldn't wander along the intricate neurons in the forest – my mind. Before I left, my mum kissed me on my cheek and told me to be safe, to be strong. But I'm not.

And what does it matter if I am safe, whilst you aren't even sound.

Come back to us, Declan.

We want you back with us, smiling, happy.

The diamond in the sky kept on shining, unpityingly. The beautiful blue sky was desolate. All the clouds had abandoned it and left it wide open, letting it bare its vulnerability. It cried out for the clouds to return, grey or white. Anything. Don't leave me alone, it screamed.

Don't leave me alone, Declan.

You can't leave us all.

The bus ride to the hospital excruciated me, because of the sudden hollowness in my heart and bus itself. Breathing was arduous and I was afraid. I was terrified. The oxygen wouldn't go into solution in my blood and the carbon dioxide wouldn't evaporate. My blood, my muscles were acerbating.

I was in agony the whole bus ride. I was in agony during the walk to the hospital.

I am in agony. My mind. my soul. Everything.

And it didn't get better as I went into the hospital, following the dull, white walls. I looked ahead of me and I tried to ignore everyone.

Still, I noticed multiple nurses running, I saw the doctors rushing to everywhere, and I saw people perched on uncomfortable chairs, petrified. And all that time when I left home and stepped into the bus I couldn't breathe normally.

My chest was burning and the inferno wouldn't leave me. This isn't the sanguine fire I saw blazing in your father's irises.

No.

This was entirely different and it made my mind cry out in anguish. I wanted to collapse on the floor and scratch out the inferno.

As I unhurriedly got closer to the door, which led to your room, I slowed my pace. I am scared. There was something and I couldn't put my finger on it, until a loud scream echoed from your room through all the walls in the hospital, through all the – dead or alive – bodies here, and through all the – on or off - equipment. It was your mum.

The ear-pitching, heart-breaking, and painful scream tore out my heart and I fell against the door.

There was no beeping sound anymore.

You are gone.

It is silent.

Declan.

Come back.

Please.

You know, I've always wanted a brother, when I was younger. Fortunately, our paths crossed, until yours took a different direction today.