Destruction

Chapter 19

(Hotchner's POV)

"Lucy McMillan has been reported dead due to a suspected suicide. She passed away a few days ago and her funeral will be held as a private service this afternoon. There is currently an ongoing investigation into her death. According to the local coroner, it looks like a clean cut suicide. Details on her death have not yet been released, but an insider states that there was a suicide note. Our insider says it was directed at the lead case man, Agent Hotchner. See us back at seven for more details on her death."

I watch as the heartless woman cuts to the next broadcast. My mind races as I think about recent events. I can't believe she killed herself. After everything she's been through, she finally was able to be free. We finally got the bad guy and she ended it in the worst way possible.

My heart aches for her and the ones that cared about her. Her funeral is happening soon and I stand, pressing my suit down. My body shakes. I can't help but hurt for Lucy. I just don't think she had any idea how much people cared for her. It may not have been the ones she wanted, but people still cared. She was loved by so many people and I just don't think she knew.

I get into my squad car and head towards the cemetery. I try my best to keep myself composed, but it's proving to be hard. I wasn't supposed to get so attached to this case. I just felt so bad for Lucy. She had been through a lot and I just wanted to protect her.

I failed.

It was just hard to ignore the rage I felt. I wanted so badly to save and protect those girls, especially Lucy. She was so vulnerable. She had so much going for her. It just hurts to know that she wanted to end her life. I knew deep down that she had thought about it before, but it's not like anyone actually wants to confront those feelings. It's so hard seeing someone with so much potential go down at their own hand. It's just pure hurt and misery.

I finally arrive at the cemetary and force my thoughts to the back of my mind. It proves hard to do when I see the few people invited standing by Lucy's casket. The top of it is open, revealing a dressed up Lucy. I walk over cautiously.

When I get closer, I notice the crowd of people outside of the street, held back by my police squad. They're all eager to see Lucy and snap pictures of her demise. I want to raise my gun and scare them all away, but I don't. Instead, I move towards Lucy's grandparents and give them my condolences. They thank me, nodding their heads swiftly. As usual, her grandfather isn't crying, only her grandmother.

My chest hurts when I begin making my way towards the girls she was with for months on end. "I'm so sorry that this is the way it turned out," I tell them.

Some nod and I stare down at Danielle, surprised she's here. "Danielle?" I whisper. She's staring at Lucy's casket, tears in her eyes. "Danielle," I say, louder.

Her breath seems to hitch in her throat and she begins shaking her head, looking over at me. "I can't believe she did this. I can't believe she would hurt everyone like that," She spits. I squat down, making it easier for me to look her in the eye. I frown, watching her. I know she's feeling so much hurt but she's so young. For such a young girl, she understands quite a bit.

"Danielle, she had been through a lot. This was the only way she thought she could get out," I try to reason.

She shakes her head again, more vigorously this time. "No, she had all of us to come to. Why didn't she come to anyone of the girls?" Tears brew in her eyes and I can see them as they nearly fall. My heart breaks for her and she throws her arms around my neck, crying.

"She was the only one that really cared for me," She cries. I already know without looking that the other girls are hurt by this.

"Listen to me Danielle. You do her good then. Remember her and always speak good of her. She wants you to be happy and you can do that. You know that, right? You can be happy and you will be. This pain won't last forever, I promise. You're going to grow up and become a woman and you'll remember Lucy and know you'll see her again someday. Alright?" I try to soothe. I don't know if I'm saying the right things, but her crying does calm a little. She nods, sniffling. "It'll be okay," I assure her. She hugs me one last time before walking over to one of the girls.

I stand and make my way to Lucy's casket. My hands shake as I place a rose on the bottom. We all had decided to buy a single rose and place it on. That's the hardest thing I've had to do today. I watch my shaky hands as they fall to my sides. I stare at Lucy's limp and lifeless body. I swear, if you look close enough, she has a slight smile on her lips.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Lucy," I whisper. I imagine what she would say and shake my head. I can't believe she's really gone. I worked so hard to protect this girl and save her. I can't believe I didn't realize I should have saved her from herself.

We all finally take our seats and I watch as some man gets up there and begins speaking of Lucy. His smile is plastic and forced. It's hard not to call him out on it. I just want him to hurry up and be done. He's only saying these things because he has to. He doesn't actually care about her. He didn't know her.

I take a deep breath and we all stand to throw dirt on her casket. Watching her casket lower into the ground is hard. That's when I realize that's the hardest thing I've done today. I take another deep breath and back away, watching as they cover her in dirt.

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you from yourself, Lucy McMillan," I whisper.

---
So that's the end guys. I know it's not much, but this was how I wanted to end it. (: So Jason was behind everything and Lucy ended up killing herself. ): Not really the ending anyone was expecting, huh? I hope you guys enjoyed it and I would love to hear your feedback!

Also, I'll do a short epilogue if you guys want me to. (:

Thanks for reading! <3