I'm fine. Thanks.

5. Jimmy

The entire day I can tell that something was at least different with Stacy. She barely talks at all and by the time lunch comes around she starts to look seriously anxious and nervous. I keep on asking myself what it could be. Is it something that would happen after lunch or even after school that she is so afraid of? Just ask her, the voice in my head demands and for once I follow what it says. She gives me a nervous smile. "I just don't like swimming." She replies to my question. "Neither do I" Trying to give her an encouraging smile I stand up and bring my stuff away. 

We make our way to the pool and Stacy literally starts shivering. "Are you sure you can do this?", I ask, a bit worried that she cannot swim at all and will drown the moment she touches the water. Wow you've known her for three days and you already worry about you. Congratulations, looks like you do have a heart after all, the voice in my head mocks. Yes I care for her. There. I said it. Happy now? Because we can't go into the same dressing room (of course) I head off to the guys section and search for a place close to the door where the rest of the boys will leave me alone. Normally when they see my scars they have that disgusted look on their faces and the start whispering behind my back. Even Ryan who used to be my best friend. I still don't get how he could turn his back on me. But on the other side, I had become a nothing and he wanted to stay a something so he let me down to be appreciated by the rest. It's okay. I would have probably done the same thing all for the fame. And I know how selfish it sounds but these are the rules of High School and if we want to or not we have to stick up to them. Or else we end up at the point where I am right now. Alone. Until someone like Stacy comes along and pulls us back into life. I have to confess that I haven't cut ever since Stacy showed up in our class. The last couple of days I have tried to push the guilty feeling about not cutting away and it works better and better.
I push my thoughts aside and leave the changing room. Stacy comes out of the shower the last. Like most of the girls she wears a bikini and her body buts the ones from all the others to shame. The scars on her belly and thighs make her even more attractive. Attractive? , the voice in my head asks, you don't find her attractive, do you? The others have realized her and the shape of her body gets a lot of jealous looks by the girls and a lot of lustful looks from the boys. Nobody even seems to notice the scars. She smiles shyly at me and comes to stand next to me. "Why are they all staring at me?", she whispers. I turn my head to smile at her. "Because you're beautiful" To my big surprise she blushes. And I realize it's been ages that I complimented anybody. And to be honest it feels really good, because I know I made her feel a bit better about her self. 

"Okay everyone get in the water and warm up", the loud voice of our teacher echoes through the big room. Everyone hops into the pool. Gentlemen-like I let Stacy go before me. That way I get to see her back. It is full of red scars. What happened to this girl, that she looks this way? Right between her shoulder blades is a tattoo of a small sun. Written underneath is the name "Ian". Who is Ian? My first thought is boyfriend. But then on the other hand she wouldn't be stupid enough to plant the name of her boyfriend on her back where it can't be erased. Maybe it's her dad. Maybe her parents or at least her dad where on the same plane as my parents and died as well. But why would they come to Canada? Maybe they wanted to move here and wanted to check out houses and now Stacy had come to finish what they had begun. What the hell is wrong with you???, by now the voice in my head is going crazy. 

"Stop dreaming, Mr Carter and get in the water!", the voice of my teacher pulls me out of my pathetic thoughts. I slowly walk down the stairs into the could water. Stacy swims over to me. She's a really good swimmer to be honest. "Your last name is Carter?", she asks with a smirk. I roll my eyes back. "I didn't chose that." 

"As if you chose your first name", she laughs and I smile. "There", Stacy beams a smile at me, "You should do that more often. It really looks good on you" 

"What?", I ask a little confused. "You should smile more often. That way you are much more handsome."

"I am?"

"Yes" She laughs. "Let's swim a round"

She is a faster than me, but not much. Because I try to beat her all the time we end up making an entire competition out of the period. 

Exhausted but somehow happy I walk back to the changing room. There is a hot discussion going on about Stacy. Especially her tattoo and her scars. I just keep silent and every time somebody asks me if I know something about either the scars on her back or the tattoo I simply shake my head.

"I wonder why she cuts. She seems to be such a happy girl. I mean she even changed this dork for the better", Ryan says pointing at me. "You two would fit perfectly together." It's the first time nobody laughs. I'm confused. Was what Ryan said not a joke? I push the thought aside, shrug, grab my bag and leave the room.