Behind the Big Bang

Chapter 10

Taeyang

Although I was a really outgoing and social person, for the first week, I hung out with mostly Jiyong. T.O.P. seemed only to talk in polite tones, never loosening up and having fun. Seungri and Daesung made forced conversation, smiling tightly. When Jiyong told me to not worry that much, that they would socialize when they were ready, and then he told me I should try harder too. "Seungri and Daesung are really nice people," He urged. "They might just think that you're intimidating."

"I never said they weren't nice." I muttered. "And I'm not even that much older than them."

"Aha, so you do want to talk to them." Jiyong acted like he just made a grand realization.

"That's what I've been trying to do this entire month!" I threw up my hands. "They're just completely shy and antisocial! How is that my fault?"

"Well, just try to make them like you more." Jiyong shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "We can't have tension amongst our band members."

It was easy for him to say. Since he was the leader, of course they would all want to talk to him. But I didn't say anymore. I never liked arguing, and after our almost-fight, I didn't want to ignite that spark again.

"Okay, I'll try." I agreed reluctantly, like I hadn't been trying for the past month.

When we received our pendants, it felt as if we were finally an official band. Mine had my initials, "YB" in the middle, with a crown over it, which meant, "to become the best in the music industry." This I doubted I'd be, but it made me feel quite important to be worthy of such a gift.

As the weeks progressed, I felt the others begin to be more friendly. By the end of the next month, we had grown closer than ever, and more than once, our neighbors complained about our being loud when we talked deep into the night. I knew Daesung still felt left out, but he never showed it, always cracking jokes and making even T.O.P. laugh.

I realized the T.O.P. could be happy too. He abandoned his cold demeanor many times, joking around with the rest of us. Once, when I asked him why he acted like he was so distant and mysterious sometimes.

After considering for a few moments, T.O.P. answered simply, "I'm not a social person by nature, so I'm working on it."

As the date of our scheduled debut loomed ever closer, Jiyong pushed us harder than ever at practices. We were supposed to release our first mini album on the 19th of August. I could feel stress emanating from Jiyong, as well as the rest of the members. We joked around less, and focused all our energy into the album. It was our one chance to make a great first impression on the world.

Finally, exactly one week right before our debut, the tension reached a breaking point. We were planning to stay up that night, finalizing details, and going over every one of the songs again. We had locked ourselves in one of the practice rooms, because the recording rooms were locked after ten.

"Daesung, can you put more power in your voice?" Jiyong told him. We were practicing the song that Jiyong had originally wanted he and T.O.P. to do, Lies.

"Well, I'm sorry I haven't ever had a girlfriend, so I don't know how it feels to break up and want her back," Daesung retorted.

"That's no surprise," T.O.P. snickered.

"It's okay," I tried to calm him down. "The main mood is like, sad, right? So–"

"Wow, Taeyang, I'd never have guessed that this song was sad." Daesung replied sarcastically.

"We can't move on until you put power in your voice." Jiyong folded his arms. "I'm just making sure that everything is perfect."

Daesung began to sing again. Barely two words in, T.O.P. interrupted, "Right at the start, you already seem to have no energy."