Behind the Big Bang

Chapter 7

T.O.P.

It wasn't that I was ashamed of my body, it was just that by losing so much weight and becoming fit in such a short time, I was not used to looking so different. When I was overweight, I was extremely insecure about my image, and I still am. It was just a habit of mine to cover my entire body no matter how hot or cold the weather.

I was unprepared for Jiyong to lift up my shirt. Although I knew I had well defined muscles, a result from countless hours in the gym at school, instinct made me yank it down as fast as I could.

Other than this, I felt like my fellow members were all pretty cool. Jiyong hadn't changed a bit from when we were children, but he was closer to Youngbae than me. I couldn't blame him; we hadn't talked for years.

I was only comfortable around Jiyong because I had already known him before, so when I was alone with some of the other members, a wall of awkwardness slowly built between us. It helped that I was rooming with Seungri. I thought he was a shy, modest guy who only talked when necessary, but I was quickly proven wrong.

When we started to unpack our things, Seungri yanked open his suitcase and began throwing things left and right. I quietly refolded all my clothes and placed them in the drawers. An hour later, Seungri's bed and the area around it was still piled with clothes while I was getting ready to take a nap.

"Are you going to sleep, or something?" Seungri asked me.

"Yeah. Do you need help?" I nodded towards the scattered clothes.

"Nah, I'm good." Seungri began throwing everything in a drawer until it was full, then he moved on to the next drawer. He grabbed things at random and shoved them in, before slamming it shut. "You like to be neat, don't you?" He nodded at my meticulously packed drawers.

"Yeah, I don't know how you can stand that." I frowned as he continued tossing things into the drawer.

"Oh, I get by." Seungri moved on to the closet.

"You know I have to share that closet with you, right?" I got up.

"Okay, then, you put all your things on this side, and I'll have it all here." He scooped up the rest of the miscellaneous items and threw them in a pile.

"I'm not going to be able to dress properly because I'll be so annoyed at your messes." I complained.

"Don't worry, you won't be stuck with me forever." Seungri grinned. "I heard we'll be switching soon. You'll be with Youngbae."

"Oh boy, I can't wait. I hope Youngbae will be neater than you." I grumbled.

He laughed. "I'm not that bad, honestly." Then he lay down on my bed, putting his hands behind his head, "I'm going to rest now." He declared, and promptly fell asleep.

I gaped at him. I couldn't believe that little brat had just taken up my neatly made bed. I tried to shake him awake, but he remained deeply asleep. Sighing, I decided to go to Jiyong and Youngbae's room.

"Hey, Seung!" Jiyong greeted me at the door. "We're mostly done, are you?"

"Seungri is the messiest guy I've ever met." I declared. "And now he just fell asleep on my bed within three seconds."

Jiyong laughed. "I never expected quiet, shy Seungri to be like this."

"Me neither." Youngbae's voice came from the bedroom. When we entered, we found him fixing his hair in a full length mirror.

"I was thinking," Jiyong said. "After a month or so, we should switch roommates."

"Yes, please." I agreed. Youngbae laughed.

"So I can be with Seungri and you'll be with Youngbae." Jiyong dictated. "Daesung's family won't let him stay with us, so–"

"That sucks." Youngbae interrupted. "That guy seems like a fun one to have around."

"Anyway, we have to meet in headquarters in an hour. Can you believe we have to work on our first album already?" Jiyong shook his head.

"I'll go get ready." I was wearing pajamas. "I was going to take a nap, but guess who took up my bed."

"Sleep on his bed." Youngbae suggested.

"He still has half his clothes on there." I grumbled, as the other two laughed.

When I got back, I found Seungri still sprawled out on my bed. Despite my annoyance, I covered him up with my blanket. Then I took off my shirt. Looking at myself in the mirror, I realized I couldn't recognize the boy who was Choi Seunghyun a few months ago. This was T.O.P. the rapper of BigBang. Rummaging in my drawer for a shirt, I suddenly heard the door click.

Moments later, Daesung bounded into my room, yelling, "Tooooooop! Seungriiiiiii!"

I tried to pull my shirt over my head as fast as I could, hitting my elbow on the dresser. "What are you doing here?" It came out harsher than I thought.

Daesung stopped in his tracks. "Am I not supposed to be here?" I could see hurt creeping into his eyes. "I came early, and I thought I'd pay my favorite people a visit."

"Sorry," I avoided his eyes, rubbing my elbow.

"Are you okay?" Daesung sounded concerned now. "The way you dressed so fast when I came in..."

"No, it's nothing," I mumbled, still unable to meet his eyes. "It's nothing."

Daesung came around and sat down on the corner of my bed. "No, seriously, what's up? And do you need something for your elbow?"

"No, I'm fine." I said quickly, then I sighed. "Daesung, it's just, you know I used to be fat, right?"

"Yeah," Daesung shrugged. "So what?"

"You're not going to make fun of me?" I asked.

"Why would I make fun of you?" Daesung shrugged again.

"The reason I put on my shirt so quickly when you came in," I told him. There shouldn't be secrets between us. "is because it's my instinct reaction whenever someone looks at my body. Although I know I'm not fat anymore, and I shouldn't be ashamed, but it's just what I've done for most of my life: not let anyone see how my body is."

"Oh, I get it." Daesung nodded, bouncing a little on the bed. Seungri turned over in his sleep. "You don't have to be afraid anymore. We're friends, aren't we?"

"I know that." I replied. "It'll take me a while to get used to this though. It's a habit for me to never wear short sleeves, and I'm already trying to break that habit."

"Yeah, I always thought you were a bit mysterious and not as friendly," Daesung admitted. "But I guess even T.O.P. can have a little fun, right?"

I shoved him. "You want me to be more social? Do you think you can handle it? I'll annoy the hell out of you."

"You can't be worse than me." Daesung shook his head. "But now, it's time to wake up the other Seung." He reached over and smacked Seungri's bottom. He didn't budge.

I laughed, "You don't do it like that." I stood up and slapped his face.

Seungri leapt up so fast my blanket fell on the floor and screamed.

"I'm going to kill you!" He shouted, grabbing me, and pulling me onto the bed. For someone younger than me, he sure was strong.

Daesung was rolling on the floor, laughing, "Seungri, are you sure you auditioned for the right band? You should've joined a girl group!"

"What was that?" Seungri let go of me, but by now, we were all laughing.

"I'm not ever going to forget that look on your face." I poked his cheek.

"I hate you guys." Seungri grumbled. He started rummaging around his drawers, looking for a shirt. Finally, all of us were dressed

"Hey, I've got a plan." Daesung motioned us over to the door of our dorm. "Let's scare the crap out of Jiyong and the sun."

I giggled, "Yes, what's your plan, master?"

"Listen carefully," Daesung whispered, a mischievous expression lighting up his eyes.