Look Past Me.

Season 3, Ep. 1- Smile

"Patrick talk to me, You're killing me!" The way Kevin said these words could not be more sincere and painful to Patrick.

They just got down from the rooftop where the air seemed to suffocate Patrick.

"I don't wanna talk right now Kevin I just want to go to bed and sleep!" Patrick wanted to yell at the top of his lungs and release the heavy pain in his chest right now that even breathing deeply isn't helping.

No matter how much Patrick would give right now just to forget everything and kiss Kevin there's something inside of his head that holds him back.

Is it doubt? Anger? Shame?

But who is he to judge someone, someone who makes mistake? He thought.

But this is not just someone, this is Kevin.

Kevin who told him how in love he is in a way that Patrick forgot about the consequences of accepting this love, the people he's going to hurt and the life he's going to ruin.

The first man he openly loved and was proud to say it out loud.

Patrick shook his head and walked to the bathroom as if this is going to hide him from the situation.

He turned the cold tap and cupped his hands below the flowing water, felt how cold it was, bent over and washed his face.

"Sleeping is just gonna make this more painful Patrick, let's just get this over with, please." Patrick looked up the mirror and saw Kevin by the door frame and he could see Kevin's eyes starting to get wet.

Patrick wants to tell Kevin not to cry, because this is just going to make him guilty.

Kevin walked over the drying rack and got a dry towel.

"Here." He lend his hands towards Patrick but what's more painful is the fact that Patrick didn't take it.

Patrick just looked at him with an expression of pain painted all over his face. What Kevin wouldn't do just to make this stop.

To just go cuddle in their bed and hold Patrick tight. To enjoy their moving in day and say how much they love each other.

But that seems too far away right now, Patrick's so close but too far out of his reach.

"I'm not sure Kevin?" The lines in Patrick's forehead became more pronounced because of all the feelings he's suppressing right now.

Patrick walked out of the bathroom with Kevin following him leading him to the bedroom.

Patrick wiped his wet face using his shirt and slid inside the white blanket.

Kevin climbed to his side and sat down with his back leaning on the Head board.

"About what Pat? Tell me exactly what you want me to do?" He was pleading, his voice was soft which only made Patrick's heart melt above all the feelings he's sorting out.

Patrick rolled to his side with his back facing Kevin.

"Let's just sleep." Patrick gave up the conversation and closed his eyes, he knows that sleeping tonight is not going to be easy.

He felt Kevin moved and felt him leaning on top of him without them touching.

What is he doing? Patrick thought as he couldn't see anything with his eyes shut but was quickly answered when the lamp by the side of his bed clicked, followed by another movement and another click which is probably Kevin's lamp.

"Night." Kevin said. He didn't expect an answer but was still disappointed when Patrick didn't say anything.

He leaned over Patrick and kissed his shoulders, placed his hand on top of it and rubbed his thumb. He felt Patrick held his breath, despite everything that happened tonight,

This made Kevin Smile.

So did Patrick.

(To be continued)

Hey, this is my way of closure towards Looking so I hope you like it.