Look Past Me.

Season 3 Ep. 5(b)- It doesn't matter

Patrick looked outside the window and watched the dull empty houses  as they drove past them.

The sky is blue but everything's grey. The houses are evenly spaced apart from each other, not like what you see where he lives.

He looked infront of him just so he can see Kevin in his peripheral vision, he's looking straight forward with a stern face, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the stick shift.

"Was that the first?" Kevin said, finally breaking the silence they had since they left the funeral.

Kevin just dragged Patrick away and everyone seemed to understand.

"First what?" Patrick asks.

"First time... First time you tried to kill your self?" Kevin's still looking forward, he's frowning.

Patrick thought about it, even everything before he never really felt as if killing himself would make things better, maybe it would.

But now he has realised that it might be better for him, but what about the people who loves him?

Now, he doesn't want anyone he loves and cares about to ever feel that way.

"It was." Was all he could say. There's not much to say really.

***

The sun is already setting when they arrived home.

Kevin pulled over infront of Patrick's place. He came out and opened the door for him.

"I don't need your help. I'm ok." Patrick said as he came out of the car, he tried to sound as casual and calm as he can so he doesn't seem so aggressive.

"I know you don't, but I want to." Kevin said and they both walked towards the gate.

Before Patrick could say something  so Kevin would leave, Kevin already opened the gates.

He must be staying then, Patrick thought.

Patrick walked up the stairs and Kevin's already waiting by the side of the door with his hands on his waist looking at the people passing by.

"Thank you, but I'm going to bed now." Patrick lies.

"Then I'll walk you to your room." Kevin said as he let himself in and waited for Patrick to close the door.

Patrick took a deep breath, he's slowly getting annoyed at Kevin now, he's trying to figure him out and what he's trying to do.

He closed the door behind and faced him.

"What do you want?" He asks, but not in the same calm way he does, his voice is shaky and as if he's going to overheat but trying to keep it down as well worried that Agustin might be home.

"You. I want to work this out." Kevin answered looking at him then quickly towards the floor.

"I guess you and that Mark didn't work?" Patrick said almost rolling his eyes and looked at Kevin.

"I saw you there, that day. You were with Jon." Kevin replies nodding his head.

"I wasn't with him, I saw him and we talked." Patrick said, calming himself down now.