An unlikely pair

15

Effie entered the living room with a silver tray hovering beside her, carrying a single, beautiful pie that smelled like cinnamon, apples, and warmth itself.

"I hope no one minds," she said, waving her wand to lower the tray onto the coffee table between us. "I decided on just the apple pie tonight. Thought I'd sit with you lot, if I'm allowed."

"Only if you bring more pie," Peter quipped, earning a flick to the back of the head from Sirius.

Effie settled into the armchair closest to me, cutting generous slices for each of us. "You've been awfully quiet, Valentina. And I don't mean that as a complaint—just curious. I feel like I've known you forever, the way the boys talk about you."

I smiled, accepting the plate she handed me. "They talk about me?"

"Oh, constantly," she said with a warm chuckle. "James especially. Though I suppose it's mostly stories of you telling them off."

"She's terrifying," Remus chimed in from the floor, Sirius comfortably sprawled against him. "In a good way."

"Royal," Regulus corrected, brushing pie crumbs off James's sleeve. "She's terrifying in a royal way."

"Is that supposed to be better?" I asked, raising a brow.

"No, but it's more accurate," Regulus replied dryly.

Effie topped off my pie slice with a bit of cream and gave me a sly smile over the rim of her teacup.

"Be honest, dear," she said, almost conspiratorially, "who's the most insufferable person you've met at Hogwarts?"

The boys snickered, already knowing what was about to happen.

I didn't even hesitate. "Bellatrix Black."

James wheezed. "Not even a pause."

"She doesn't deserve one," I muttered, straightening up in my seat. "She's everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Always lurking like some gothic bat with a superiority complex."

"Tell us how you really feel," Sirius grinned, glancing at his mom with a twitch of amusement.

Effie, very gracefully, took another sip of tea and hummed as though I'd just commented on the weather. "Go on, darling."

"Alright," I said, launching into the familiar rhythm of my complaints. "She's dramatic. She flounces. Who flounces anymore? She has this laugh that makes you want to scream—and not in the good way. And she's obsessed with power, respect, her reputation, and somehow manages to look at me like I'm the one who's constantly in the way."

"She is incredibly gifted though," Remus offered, ever the peacekeeper.

"And she knows it," I snapped. "Which somehow makes it worse! It's like she's this—this cursed heirloom your family refuses to throw away because it's technically valuable but also haunted."

That one got a round of laughter.

"Well," Effie said, patting my hand with genuine sympathy, "she is your housemate. You'll have to learn to coexist."

"She's not a housemate. She's a test from the gods."

"Don't worry," Peter said, eyes still on his chessboard. "If she ever does anything, I'll... well, I'll let Remus hex her."

"Thanks," Remus said dryly.

I huffed, folding my arms. "She hexes first. That's the problem."

Effie exchanged a long, glance with Sirius, who was doing a very bad job of hiding a smirk behind his mug. Regulus caught it too and slowly raised an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked suspiciously, glancing between them.

"Nothing," Effie said, far too smoothly. "It's just... funny. You talk about her with such passion."

"I talk about a lot of things with passion."

"Mm-hmm," Sirius muttered.

"I do!"

Regulus let out a soft, barely audible sigh like he'd seen this movie before. Effie, meanwhile, sat back with a pleased little smile on her face, like she knew all the answers to the universe and refused to give any.

"She'll probably be waiting for me the moment I get back. Probably hex me in my sleep."

"Oh, don't be silly," Effie said sweetly. "If she does, just send her to me. I'll give her a real reason to flounce."