heedless by romanshome

thoughts

Athena felt like she couldn't speak anymore without upsetting someone.She had felt horrible about the way she had projected her built up, fuming anger down towards herclosest friend—who had been nothing but purely supportive and encouraging to her. And even then—she had found out that she was such a horrible person that she was a burden to be around. Shehadn't realized that Hastia had been taking care of her this entire time, and she had been so obviousto the fact that she literally drained the energy from everybody.

She tried to act happy. Pull on a facade that no one could crack under—but she supposed it wasn'tenough. She needed to try harder to make those around her happy. Her emotions just didn't matterenough to be acknowledged because she didn't want to be selfish. From now on, she was going toput others before herself. Her confidence was smashed into the ground anyways, so she reallydidn't believe she had any self-worth.Which is why the word no never seemed to leave her mouth. Fear consumed her that she wouldspark anger in the person if she declined their offers or suggestions, so like a mindless robot, sheagreed to everything that was prompted of her.She no longer wore skirts and dresses. Pairs of light-washed jeans and heavy hoodies covered herframe—because she was extremely insecure. She no longer felt beautiful, because the people whohad told her that eventually showed their true colors. They used her. For their sadistic little mindgames.She should've known.

Like father like son.And the worst part of this entire thing;Was that she missed him. Scorpius.Before he became cruel and completely hostile towards her—he was her best friend. Always tellingher that she looked absolutely stunning when she wore his clothes, showering her with dozens ofkisses across her entire body, smiling up at her with the spark of love in his silver eyes. He lookedat her like she was his word—and he was hers. He really was. He was there for her when she wassad, telling her that he'll always be there by her side through absolutely everything and anything.

That he would I be a fool to give up a jewel as her.Consider him a fool.Because he did give up on her.She still didn't understand what she did wrong.Was she not intimate enough?Did she discard his emotions?Had he not been attracted to her anymore?

He called Rose beautiful. Inside and out. And that glare in his eyes, filled with passion and fierydesire for the red—headed girl, was stuck in Athena's mind. He used to look at her like that. But hewas no longer hers, and she had to accept it.And Mr. Malfoy. He had her under his manly charm.Told her words that made her swoon under his sharp, fierce eyes that pierced into hers. He lookedat her like she was the most ethereal being that had walked this earth—but it was all a lie. A fauxtruth. His plan was to show her that she had been so vulnerable and in need of affection, that shewould stoop as low as to have sex with her ex boyfriend's father. But no—that wasn't the case. Thetruth was...Is that she developed feelings for him as well. They grew inside her, the seed being every singleword of promising enticement that he uttered towards her. It sprinted into her veins and made hersheart skip a million beats, but they ended up being filled with a poisonous liquid that ultimatelyseared the heart into nothing but the ash of his cigarette.

All in all, she was lost. She had lost herself.She didn't trust anyone. Not even Hastia. It appeared everyone hated her secretly.And so here she was. Sat inside the office of Mr. Zabini, when she would much rather be rolledinto her guest room bed and tucked away—trying to sleep away the rest of her life. She simply hadno energy. She just—sat there. Staring at the shelves of books that Draco her pressed her againstjust a few nights ago, but this time, she felt nothing. She had shut off the part of her brain that madeher yearn for the things she simply couldn't have.