Met Online

Chapter 11

"How could I let them get to me?" I can't keep the tears from trailing down my cheeks; I haven't been able to since I left the café and came knocking on Taylen's door. "I should have known it was too good to be true." I sound oddly calm considering the roaring storm that has taken permanent residence in my stomach. "How could I be so stupid?" We're sitting on Taylen's bed, using her headboard as a backrest and I'm staring off into nothing. She hasn't said a word since I started my story and it's starting to frustrate me. "Can you please say something?"

I wait for her to speak; to say anything, anything at all 'cause the silence between us is starting to suffocate me. Then my phone lights up with a new message and we both turn our eyes towards it. It's from Justin. Truth be told, it sends a sparkling sensation through my veins to see his screen name on my phone, knowing that he's still thinking about me. But my happiness is quickly overpowered by the nauseating feel of betrayal gnawing at my insides.

"Are you going to block him?" Taylen asks. I visibly relax at the sound of her voice; it felt like the silence between us lasted for a century.

"I don't know." I know I should I block him; rip him from my life as I would a Band-Aid, but I just can't get myself to do it. I've become to accustomed to his daily messages and just thinking about not talking to him again causes a lump to form at the base of my throat.

"Why not?" she questions. She still hasn't looked at me since I started talking; she's been staring straight ahead, keeping her eyes focused on the wall. If I didn't know any better I would say that she was mad at me. "He totally screwed you over."

"I want to," I confess. "I just can't get myself to do it."

"He's no good for you, Cass." She sounds bored, as if I haven't just presented her with a situation that has made my heaven and hell merge into one.

"I know. He's just so different when we're talking online." I don't know how to explain it to her; she hasn't seen the soft side of Justin, the way that I have. "It's like the douche bag in him completely vanishes once we're chatting."

"But he's still him," she exclaims, finally looking at me. "People don't just change, Cassidy. Especially people like Justin."

"I know," I tell her. And I do know that people don't change, but for once I wish it wasn't true. Just this once. "Some part of me just wants to believe that the Justin I know from online can really exist in reality."

"People like Justin go online to hide; to become somebody else. He's been playing you all along." It's my turn to look away when the reality of her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm no better than he is; I've been playing him too. I went online to hide: to become somebody else. Someone with confidence and courage; someone like Taylen.

"I don't know what to do," I sigh in frustration. I feel like my head is about to burst and splatter all over Taylen's white bedsheets. At least I've finally stopped crying.

"Delete him," she says, as she sits up on her knees and turns her body towards me. I know she only means it as a friendly advice, but it sounds almost like a direct order. "Right now. While I'm looking so I know that you've done it."

"Why are you so intent on getting me to delete him?"

"I just want what's best for you," she shrugs and looks away, almost as if she's afraid of looking me in the eyes.

"I can make the decision myself Taylen," I tell her.

"Can you really? Isn't that why you came here; because you're incapable of making any decisions on your own?" she snaps and I feel the stab of her words like was it the poisonous tip of a sharpened sword. "I'm sorry," she apologizes immediately, but it's too late; I already feel the black hand of depression dragging me under again.

"What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing," she tells me. "Can we not talk about it anymore?"

"Okay we wont," I promise her, but deep down inside I'm dying to know what's gotten her so riled up.

It's already a quarter after six when I leave Taylen's house, with a nagging feeling weighing heavily in my chest. I managed to thaw Taylen up with a movie, but although her mood had undoubtedly increased there was a hooded look in her eyes that made the hairs at the back of my neck rise.

I turn the corner at the end of the street and dig into my back pocket to retrieve my phone. I have fought the urge to look at it all night, for fear that it would embitter Taylen's somewhat good mood. But standing at the street corner at the end of her street, hidden behind a two feet tall bush, I can't contain my curiosity any longer.

Justin's message is three hours old, but the thought of it is still burning holes in my brain. There's just something about chatting with him that makes me forget who he really is and most importantly: who I really am. I'm anxious to read his message, and I know that even a simple hey will twirl a storm of exited butterflies into motion in my body. But his message doesn't contain a simple hey. It contains something bigger; something big enough to shatter my world and bring me right back to earth, reminding me who we really are and why this could never work out.

Hero56: I want to meet you.

//AN: so sorry for the long wait you guys - I started my sophomore year of College last week and homework has been KILLING me!! Hope to be able to update again this week - love you! What did you think of the ending?//