Met Online

Chapter 14

My dad is awake when I get home. He rarely ever is. He works night shifts at a hospital two towns over and needs all the sleep he can get to stay alert during the night. It means that I rarely see him and often weeks goes by without me catching a single glimpse of him. Sometimes I feel like he's not really there: like he's just a ghost appearing from time to time.

I love my dad, I always have, but his odd hours make it hard for us to maintain our good relationship. At first it killed me not to see him everyday: I used to stay up all night, waiting to hear his keys jingle in the lock when he returned home from work. As years passed I got used to him being gone most of the time.

He's sitting at the kitchen table, sipping black coffee and flipping through today's paper. "How was school?" he asks, as soon as he catches a glimpse of me. He has led his beard grow out since last time I saw him and the facial hair looks strange on his before so smooth face. It's weird how you can avoid seeing someone for so long when you're living under the same roof.

"It's was okay," I lie, keeping my eyes locked on the newspaper in his hands for fear that he'll see straight through me. He has always had an incredibly annoying ability to tell whenever I'm lying.

"Still keeping up those good grades?"

"I'm trying to," I tell him.

"Good girl," he smiles at me, showing off the dimples I've inherited from him.

"When are you leaving?" I ask as I tiptoe around the table and wrap my arms around him, allowing myself to get lost in his familiar scent. God, I've missed him.

"In a few minutes," he says, as he folds up the newspaper and places it on the table. He's concentrating solemnly on me now, his familiar eyes piercing mine. "I still have time if there's something you want to talk about?"

"No I'm fine," I tell him, as I divert my eyes towards his coffee cup, for fear that he'll read the truth in my eyes. I hate lying to him, but if that's what it takes to avoid sharing my problems than I will gladly do it.

"Are you sure?" he asks suspiciously.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"You tell me."

"I'm fine dad," I try to assure him. "I do have a lot of homework to get through so I think I'll just head to my room."

"Okay, school comes first," he repeats the mantra he's been reciting to me ever since I was a little girl.

"Exactly," I laugh. "I'll see you later?"

"You sure will princess," he winks at me and I can't help the giggle that escapes my lips. I truly am daddy's girl. "I'm off tomorrow if you change your mind about that talk." My heart swells at the idea of getting to spend tomorrow night with him. It's been so long.

"Movie night?" I ask hopefully.

"You know it princess," he says, as he shoots me another wink. "Now you better get started on that homework."

"I will," I promise him. Then I give him another brief hug and wish him a good shift, before I head up to my room.

Once in my room I kick my shoes off and flop onto my bed. I bury my head in my pillow as I try to make sense of everything that's going on inside of me. My feelings are like a blizzard ripping through my insides. I want to let the excitement of the prospect of movie night with my dad take over the bitterness I feel towards Taylen, for her odd behavior, and the confused feelings I have about Justin, but my excitement faints in the light of the rest of my feelings and I'm left feeling as hollow as I did when Taylen stormed out of the library and left me alone on the carpeted floor.

I want to scream, to get it all out of my system, but I get a chance to do so my phone vibrates in my back pocket, alerting me of a new message. Reluctantly, I roll onto my side and retrieve my phone from my pocket.

As I had expected, it is Justin.

Hero56: I know you probably won't answer, but I wont give up.

"I wish you would," I sigh in defeat after I have read the message. Why does he have to make it so difficult? Doesn't he understand that I'm doing what's best for the both of us? I'm doing this to safe his reputation and my own feelings. If he knew who I really was I'm sure he would be ignoring me too.

I wish we were different people; that he wasn't Justin Bieber and that I wasn't "Four-Eyes". Maybe then it would have worked out.

* * *

Our couch looks like it has been attacked by an accountant, which I guess it kind of has. It is halfway buried in graphs and economical analysis of a company in Asia. It is my mom who has claimed the couch as her office for the night, so I'm forced to sit on the floor with my plate balanced on my lap.

"How was school?" she asks me. She sounds distracted and I doubt she will notice if I answer or not.

"It was fine," I tell her, not moving my eyes from the reporter on the TV. As I had suspected she doesn't listen to my answer, but starts mumbling about numbers and supply-demand relations in the foreign company she's consulting on.

I try to block her out and concentrate on what the reporter is saying, as I move my dinner around the plate, tapping it lightly with my fork. My mom is too busy with her numbers to notice that I'm not actually eating it.

Despite the bitterness I feel towards Taylen at the moment, I catch myself, once again, wishing to be her. Unlike mine, her family eats a real table and not on a couch. They have real conversations over dinner and not just meaningless, forced small talk.

My mom is in the middle of reciting a sequence of numbers when my phone buzzes with a new message. The sound of the vibration against the hardwood floors travels the room and over powers the sound of the reporter on the TV.

"Do you mind silencing that?" my mom asks, gesturing towards my phone. "I'm sorry honey, but I really need to concentrate on these numbers."

I don't want to fight her, so I grab my phone and rise from the floor. I make my way towards the kitchen, where I empty my full plate into the garbage, before I take a seat at the kitchen table, where my dad was sitting earlier today.

The message is from Justin, which does not surprise me at all. The only other person besides him who would text me is Taylen, and since we, for unknown reasons, are fighting at the moment I don't expect her to text me.

Hero56: please talk to me! I don't respond to his plea, just as I haven't responded to any of his other messages since I found out who he was. I can see that he's already typing up a new message and I end up staring at our conversation against my own will, waiting for him to send the message.

Hero56: I don't know what I did wrong and it's driving me insane. I've been raking my brain for some kind of answer as to why you are ignoring me but I can't come up with anything. For what is worth, I'm sorry for whatever I've done that has made you cut contact with me. If it's because of my wish to meet you I take it back; it don't want to push you into anything you don't want to do. I really wish you would tell me why you're ignoring me so I can fix it. I will do anything to fix it. I will do anything for you. Please? My heart is melting at his sweet words and my fingers are itching to reply to him, but I wont let myself fall into the trap.

I'm quick to exit the app completely, before I do anything I will regret. I have to protect myself against his kind, because the only thing I will get out of this twisted relationship is a broken heart.

I end up going to bed shortly after that. I'm so exhausted that I pass out on top of the covers in my jeans and tshirt.

That night I dream of chocolate colored eyes and apologies as sweet as love poems.

//AN: I can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter! Please feel free to vote and leave a comment if you like. Thank you so, so much for reading along - you guys are AWESOME!!! I love you xx//