Met Online

Chapter 19

I've covered all of the mirrors in my bathroom with towels, to make sure that I can't see myself when I shower, because I don't like how I look without clothes on. At least with clothes on I can hide, but naked I'm completely vulnerable and everything is portrayed on display.

One time a towel had dropped from one of the mirrors, without me realizing it, and when I turned around I accidentally caught sight of myself in the mirror: completely naked and with red lines running up and down my stomach, from where the razor had been in contact with my skin the day before. That was enough to make me break down.

Now, as I look at myself in the mirror in my bedroom dressed in only my underwear, all I can do is wonder. I wonder what Justin sees in me, since he's willing to waste more time on me. I wonder what I would look like if I dropped another ten pounds, maybe I would be perfect then.

With a heavy sigh I turn away from the mirror and head for my closet. Without Taylen's help it's a challenge to find an outfit that won't make me look like the usual me. All I have in my closet are sweatshirt and flannels. I curse myself for not taking Taylen up on all of her offers to go shopping before.

I manage to dig out a pair of light jeans and a simple top Taylen once forgot at my house, from the bottom of my closet. For warmth and some extra coverage I pull an old black cardigan down from the top shelf in the closet.

Once I'm dressed I start experimenting with putting in my contact lenses. This is possibly the worst part of it all. I hate having to stick my finger inside my eye and the lenses keeps falling off my finger mid air.

I manage to stab myself twice in the eye with the mascara brush, while I try to apply it, and I end up having to redo it three times. The final look is not as perfect as Taylen could have done it, but at least it's something other than my usual look and I cross my fingers that combined with the lack of my glasses and my outfit it will be enough to fool Justin.

Justin messages me at a quarter to six, right as I'm finishing up cleaning the remainder of mascara stains off the counter.

Hero56: are you still on for tonight? It's sweet of him to ask for confirmation, especially since we haven't talked since I fell asleep next to Taylen last night. I assume that we have both been busy preparing for tonight. But Justin has a well known reputation with girls, so I doubt he's spent as much time as I have thinking about tonight; worrying about what could go wrong.

Princess143: yes, where do you want to meet up? I spent the time it takes for him to reply, rearranging my mother's makeup in her drawer. It's her makeup that I've been using, since all the makeup I own are old, dried up samples I've gotten from her years ago.

Hero56: you know where the Hillside Zoo is?

The Hillside Zoo is a small local zoo on the outskirts of town. It was once privately owned, but the owner passed away last year and the state took over. At first there were talk about closing it down, but a petition from the citizens in the town insured that it stayed in business.

Princess143: yes. 

When I was younger my dad made me learn the directions by heart, in case I ever got lost at the zoo. Turn right on Pipestone, head down Main Avenue all the way to the stoplight and then make a left.

Hero56: can you meet me there in twenty minutes?

I text him back with an okay, and then I stuff my phone into the back of my pocket and make my way downstairs.

My mother is leaning halfway across the dinning room table. Beneath her a dozen pieces of papers are spread out. She's studying one, comparing it to a few others, as she mumbles random comments to herself.