drown for you | jjk

25

Honestly, ever since you discovered the siren, hidden away, he's been all you could think about. The entire trip with Jin is no different, Jeongguk selfishly occupying your mind. Particularly, a few things concerning him.

The fact is that shady people found out exactly where Jeongguk—an extremely valuable being—was being kept, and even tried to steal him. Who knows how many more are aware of his whereabouts?

The police hadn't been notified as you risk Jeongguk being taken away, so no report had been filed. The men had gotten away. At least from the law–Jeongguk had given a few of them a slightly watered-down version of what they deserved. Still, others could very well be on their way and more prepared.

And that scientist? What if he won't accept a 'no' and decides to take matters into his own hands? How did he come to know about Jeongguk in the first place, unless he's also involved with the shady shit?

There are only two things that ease your nerves about that whole ordeal: the fact that Jeongguk will be leaving soon anyway, and the guards that Namjoon has hired temporarily to guard the place at night. Having them is expensive and just an emergency action, so Jeongguk definitely has to go soon.

And, of course, you think about the fact that he is, indeed, leaving. You try so hard to not think about it, but it always comes back to haunt you.

Being away—even just for a few days—make you realize how desperate you truly are to keep in touch with Jeongguk. So utterly desperate that you might just force him to, at least in the beginning. Getting close to humans at beaches or harbors will be risky, so preferably, he wouldn't have to do that too often.

Maybe you could set up something like a weaning plan? A weaning plan for your sake, to slowly get you used to days without him. You could agree to meet every full moon for six months, then every other, then every third... Keep spacing them out until you just don't meet anymore, would that be easier than quitting him cold turkey?

At that moment, it seems to be a great, realistic plan, but you know that you only think so because you'd do anything to not have to let him go completely. Just like you know that you'll never actually be okay with seeing him for the last time, knowing that it's the last.

It's going to hurt no matter what.

---

Jin notices, as soon as you meet him at the airport, that something is up. He asks once, to which you reply 'I'm okay, some things happened back home, but I don't really wanna talk about it,' and he doesn't push it.

If you could, maybe you'd tell Jin. You'd tell him about Jeongguk, about everything. Perhaps he'd have advice to offer you, he certainly feels like an emotionally intelligent person. But you're not allowed to talk to other people about Jeongguk. Besides, he's your problem, anyway. Would Jin even believe you in the first place? A siren? A merman? Yeah, right.

To you, Jeongguk feels almost like an addiction. When you don't get your daily dose, you feel restless, obsessively wanting to know how he's doing, what he's doing, all the time. You worry that he's not comfortable enough with Taehyung, that he's spending all his time alone. Taehyung also has one of the days off, and sure, Hoseok promised to be there then but still. You don't want Jeongguk to feel lonely, like he's been abandoned.

You try to not let the guilt of going on the trip get to you, but it only gets harder and harder. If he wanted you to, you would've spent every second of the remaining days in the tank. Fuck, you would've slept in there, too.

The only consolation you've got at the moment is Namjoon's promise that they'll call you if anything remotely bad happens. Your phone hasn't received any calls yet.

Jin booked separate rooms for you at the hotel, and you thank the gods for it. They're situated right next to each other so while you're still close, you're able to let your guard down and not have to pretend like you aren't deeply bothered by something. As you're settling in, you keep thinking about what you're going to say to Jeongguk when he leaves.

The plan is to move him into a small portable tank and, with the use of a trailer pulled by Namjoon's car, release him somewhere fitting. Preferably at night so as to not risk having any witnesses. There's a small harbor nearby, but the question is if there might be boats with people there. The next closest thing is a small beach, and since the weather at the moment is bordering on cold, no one will be visiting with the intention to swim at least. It's a little farther away, but still a good alternative.

All in all, it's going to be a multiple person job, so you don't know how much alone time you'll get with the siren right then and there. Surely, the others will be waiting close by. One thing is certain, you're not planning on wearing any makeup that day. Maybe you also need to stock up on tissues.

You want to do it right, in case you won't see him again, but you also want to make it as easy and pain-free as possible. He should leave hopeful and excited for his future, not dwelling about what could've been. Because whatever could have been, had such an extremely slim chance of even happening, to begin with. And if it had happened, you're sure it wouldn't have ended well, anyway, and then all it would've done is bring even more pain.

If he even thinks about the same things you're trying not to. No, of course, he isn't. How dumb and egotistical of you. You're a friend to him simply because you care for him, listen to him.

---

There's a casual dinner at the hotel the same evening, the more business-y parts starting the day after. You go with Jin, and strangely enough, you're not bothered by the people assuming you're dating. One of you, simply and politely, corrects them, and all in all, you have a good time. You follow Jin around as he mingles and introduces you to the others, and then you just keep to yourselves. Most of the others attending are quite a bit older than you, so besides the business, there isn't much to talk about.

The entire day you've felt conflicted about going on the trip, but for a few hours, Jin gets you to relax and even enjoy yourself. Your phone, although always close enough to hear, is left unchecked. You even felt excited at the chance to dress up a bit, seeing as the last time you wore a dress and makeup was... a while ago. It still feels odd to not be dressed in a wet suit or your ratty work clothes.

When the evening turns to night, and the wine you've drunk has gotten to you, you and Jin decide to retire to your rooms. He's joking, you're smiling, and your arm is looped through his for balance. Standing at your doors, he looks into your eyes with his beautiful ones, before he leans down to kiss the back of your hand and wish you a good night. Then he disappears inside his room, and you're left in the hallway, thoughts somewhere else.

The next day, you feel on edge. It's as if something inside you cleared during the night. After brunch and a midday meeting, you've made up your mind, and you inform Jin of your decision to leave with the next available flight. Although he's surprised, he's also supportive, and you make sure to let him know that you've had a great time, that these things aren't supposed to be fun, but with him, you've enjoyed being there. If it weren't for other pressing matters, you would've definitely stayed.

The flight you've managed to catch has you arriving at your town's airport just after midnight. You want to go directly to the lab, but you both feel and look disgusting, and you're still dragging all of your luggage with you, so you decide to go home, sleep for a few hours, and be at the lab first thing in the morning.

As the cab sails through the night and towards your place, you open your phone to send a text to Namjoon. You haven't heard anything from any of them which leaves you feeling relieved. Nothing bad has happened then. He doesn't answer your 'I got home early, will be at the lab in the morning.' Not weird, considering the hour.

Even though you're exhausted, it takes you two hours to fall asleep. The thoughts just keep repeating themselves, they never settle down. You want this to go right. When the nervous butterflies in your stomach finally go to rest, you do, too.