Fruits Basket: Thin blood

Chapter two

--Hatsuharu's point of view--

I felt so bad. I didn't mean to hurt Kyo, I was just so out of control. I'm so stupid!! I can't even control myself around people I care about!!! Dammit. He looked terrible, weak. He began to sit up, but he had to lay back down. He was sickeningly pale.
  "Kyo-kun!" Tohru yelled.
  "I-I'm alright I just need to..." And his eyes shut.
  "I didn't beat him that badly, did I?" I was still in a daze but I knew I wouldn't knock just anyone out, even when I was black.
Poor Kyo. He looked so small and weak. It was now that I realized he was rather thin. He'd always been lean but he was thin.
  "I'll call Tori-San" Shigure said seriously, but there was some cheer in his voice at the mention of his friend. There were bad spirits hanging over all of us but Yuki and Tohru seemed more worried than they should have been for something so simple.
  "Guys, what's going on?"
  "I've never seen him pass out like this before. Actually I don't think he's ever been knocked unconscious..." Yuki said "Except maybe once by Akito" he added thoughtfully.
  "Tori is on his way" Shigure said. He seemed less worried now that he knew the doctor was coming, but Tohru and Yuki still had worry plastered on their faces.
  When Hatori got here he went straight to Kyo's room and checked some basic things: blood pressure, pulse, temperature. He looked like a little boy: powerless and weak.
  "His blood pressure and body temperature are low. Has he eaten much lately?"
  "Oh no!" Tohru wailed, "This is bad bad bad!
  "Come to think of it I haven't seen him eat much recently," Yuki said thoughtfully, "How's his heart?" Yuki asked showing genuine concern for the cat he so hated
  "His heart rate is low but that is to be expected from someone in such good physical condition."
  "That's good right?!?!" Tohru yelped
  "It's nothing until he wakes up. Let's get him to bed, but not in here; the hole in the wall is letting rain in which isn't helping him at all."
  Dammit! I'm so stupid! I damaged Shigure's house and made Kyo sick and maybe seriously injured! I hung my head in shame, picked up Kyo, and carried him into Tohru's room.
  We went downstairs and ate the soul Tohru had prepared. Tori and I stayed for dinner. The others chattered lightly about who knows what. I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying. I just felt absolutely terrible.

I left the table and headed to the bathroom. I locked the door and sat with my back against it. I reached into my pocket and felt the hard metal of my razor. I lifted my shirt and placed the sharp end against my side. I applied a bit of pressure and slashed through my flesh. Blood instantly rushed out of the wound. I placed the blade above it and slashed through my soft flesh again. I used more pressure and the cut was significantly deeper. Good. This is what I deserve. I let the blood rush down my torso I knew that Kyo was feeling much worse now. Nothing I could do to myself would match how I felt about knocking Kyo out. I cut again tearing myself out of my thoughts and waited for the blood to slow. When the blood flow became weak I grabbed some paper towels and cleaned up my mess. I threw the towels in the toilet and flushed. I slipped my sharp silver friend in my pocket and went back down to sit with the others.

Hurting yourself won't help anything Sohma. It won't fix what you did, only you can do that.
  No one noticed how miserable I was for the rest of the night and I was able to stay in the background of the activity.
  People took turns checking on Kyo, and, around eleven, I went to see him. I closed the door behind me and sat on the side of Tohru-kun's bed.
  "I'm sorry Kyo" I said acting as though he could hear me. This was so uncomfortable. It was like Kyo was in the hospital in a coma or something. I didn't know what to do. Should I fluff his pillow? Give him a blanket? I felt terrible. I didn't know how to help the boy I cared about so much and hurt so badly.
  I pressed my fingers into my fresh cuts to break me from my thoughts. I stared at the tiny, orange-haired Kyo for a bit longer and left after a while. Outside of the doorway, Yuki was standing, worried.
  "It's alright, he'll be okay," he comforted, and I realized his worry was for me rather than Kyo.
  "Yeah."
  "Really, it's nothing bad and it's not even your fault."
  "I beat him up." I said and looked at the floor.
  "You beating him up didn't make him pass out. He hasn't been eating and his blood pressure is low. He used to be able to receive ten times what you gave him and come out fine, angry, but fine."
  "I know" I sighed and whispered, "he's so thin." The backs of my eyes prickled and I felt tears threaten to fall.
  "Hey" Yuki put his arm on my shoulder "He'll be okay"