Fruits Basket: Thin blood

Chapter six

Hatsuharu's point of view
I woke up in Kyo's bed and remembered yesterday's events. I made my way downstairs, and Honda-San was finishing up preparing breakfast
"Do you need any help?"
"Oh! Hatsuharu, you startled me! Um..No, I think I'm all set but thanks!" She smiled. How could she always stay so happy?
Breakfast was served and Kyo wasn't there. Not surprising, he's probably pretending to sleep to avoid eating.
When we finished, Hatori took a plate full of food-more than any of us had eaten-and slid it into Tohru's room by cracking open the door.
"Eat," he said coldly and walked back to the dining room.
"You don't have to be so cold with him," I suggested.
"If he isn't given a firm hand he will deceive us all, this is going easy on him. It will be a hell of a lot worse if he doesn't get his shit together," he said, even more coldly than a minute ago. He was becoming angry.
"Give him a break, it's not that bad yet," I was trying to defend Kyo.
"Not that bad?" I had gone too far "If we don't fix this now he could easily die! He doesn't have proper nutrition to sustain life, and his body will begin to shut down if we aren't careful. This needs to be reversed now before the damage is permanent!" I looked at him in shock and he held eye contact, clearly quite angry.
"I-I didn't know," I said softly. I was suddenly scared for my Kyo. What if he died? What would I do? What would the others do?
"I know," he said, back to his normal self.
A few hours later, when I knew Kyo would be awake, I went into Tohru's room. Kyo hadn't even gotten out of bed. The plate was still in the floor full of food as I expected. I picked it up and sat down on his bed.
"Sit up," I said being as firm as possible without being harsh.
He complied and I pushed a spoonful of eggs toward his mouth.
"Open up or I'll do it for you."
He opened his mouth just to get the eggs in and didn't move.
"Chew."
He began to slowly chew. I got another spoonful and fed it to him. It took a while, but he finished his breakfast one slow bite at a time. I knew he'd be unhappy, but he needed help now.
I picked up the plate and left.
After I put the dishes by the sink for Tohru to wash, I headed to the bathroom to bleed my emotions away.
I inspected yesterday's wounds and they seemed fine-not infected, but not nearly deep enough to satisfy me. I began to cut hard and fast above my previous cuts. One for not seeing his pain. Two for letting him get so bad. Three for being a jerk to him. Four for making him hate me. Five for not being what he wants. Six for being a hypocrite. Seven for not being able to save him. Eight for beating him up once. Nine for beating him up twice. Ten just because. Blood flowed heavily out of the cuts, but I wasn't worried; I had done worse. I held paper towels over them to keep the blood from going everywhere. Good thing I wore all black, you can't see the blood stains.
The bleeding eventually stopped, and I mopped up a small puddle of blood from the floor. I decided to check on Kyo and found him back in his room with his head out the window and his fingers down his throat.
"Kyo!"
He whipped around quickly with tears in his eyes "Go away, cow!"
I ignored the fact that he called me cow and strode over to him. I pinned his hands to his sides and examined his face "Did you...succeed in your task?" I demanded boring my grey eyes into his scarlet ones.
He simply shook his head as a few tears fell silently. I then hugged him which was terribly awkward. He was so thin I could feel bones press into me as I did so.
"What the hell are you doing?! Let go of me asshole!"
I let go of him catching a glimpse of one last tear fall.
"You reek of blood," he stated.
"Huh?" I stiffened, hoping he didn't pursue this more.
"You. Smell. Like. Blood." He said tersely.
I sniffed the air, "I don't smell anything."
"Is everything alright?"
"With me, yes. With you, no." He looked away annoyed.
"Don't tell anyone about this asshole."
I didn't know what to do. Should I lie and say I won't, or should I just not answer? I know not telling wouldn't help, but telling might make him hate me more.
"Kyo..." I said uneasily. He only glared at me
"You're. Not. Telling. Anyone," He said between gritted teeth.
"Have you done this before?" I ask to change the subject
He didn't answer and just said, "It doesn't matter, just don't tell anyone dammit."
"Actually, it kind of does matter," I said, becoming slightly irate.
"No, okay? I haven't done this before. God, the people in this house just won't give it a rest," he huffed.
"You know I have to tell them about this. At least Hatori" I said softly.
"No you don't! You're choosing to do this to ruin my life!"
No Kyo, I'm trying to save your life. It killed me to let him think I was against him.
"Shut up you asshole! Hatori said last night that if we don't deal with this now, you could die!! Your body can't handle these extremes! You can be such a dumbass!" His eyes widened and I saw a flash of fear before his eyes returned to their blank, careless state.
"I don't care," he said plainly
"You're lying."
The accusation angered him, "Get the hell out! Why are you even in here? I thought you cared!" Really? He actually thought that? There was a quick spark of happiness in me before I looked at him sympathetically.
"I'm sorry," I desperately hoped he'd believe me.
"I know."
"No you don't!"
He stayed silent.
"Does it scare you when people try to help you? Do you feel powerless? Useless? Scared of what they might find out?" My voice began to rise.
He only glared at me which was better than him yelling.
"This is exactly what I'm talking about! The second I say something you're uncomfortable with, you shut down," I tried to control my building anger, "And I bet you hate how cold you are towards others and the way you push them away. You just want one person to tell your problems to, but you're alone and can't trust people like that."
He looked at me with astonishment
"I know because I...knew someone like you," I said, finally calmed down.
"Why have you been going going black so much lately?" He asked changing the subject.
"I don't really know, it doesn't matter really," I'm a fuck up, that's why. I can't control myself anymore. I'm worried about you.
"It matters Hatsuharu," he said tersely.
"No, what matters now is you!" I wasn't going to let him out of this so easily.
"Can we just drop this?"
"No dammit! What don't you get? We're worried about you! This is serious you asshole!"
"Sorry" he grumbled. Why couldn't he see how important he was?!
"Are you really? Because it doesn't seem like it!"
He didn't answer.
"That person you were along about-the one who wants to talk but pushes people away-is it you?"
"No," could he tell I was lying?
We were both silent after that.
"I'll be staying in Yuki's room if you need me," I said before leaving the room.

I went down stairs and waved Hatori over to me. When he saw my expression, he looked worried. He excused himself from the others and came over to me.
"What happened?"
I just shook my head in defeat.
"Hatsuharu, what happened?" His eyes were fierce.
I looked away from him as I sheepishly said, "He was hanging out the window with his fingers down his throat," I spoke softly. Hatori eyes flashed in astonishment, anger, and worry
"That idiot!" He said and punched the wall. "Did he...?" He trailed off, and I knew what he meant.
"No," I said, and he sighed in relief "Hatori...?" I trailed off, asking so many questions in one word. He only stared at me with ferocity. I knew this wouldn't be good.