Tiger (Brian&Leah, 2)

20. Making It Right

Leah

"Nash!" My feet splash in the quickly forming puddles as I run to the guy I hurt.

He quickens his strides, but a few feet away, he stops. "What do you want from me?"

"To do what I should've done right away," I say. "Can we talk? Please?"

He heaves a sigh. "Let's have coffee and chat. This day has already gone to shit anyway."

I know he would never, but even if he yelled at me, I would have understood. Brian wasn't so misguided. It is my fault. My fault for trying to cure loneliness by getting together with someone who tried to give me more than what my battered heart was ready to take. My fault for being naive enough to believe a band-aid would cover the gaping would Brian's departure had left.

We stroll to the nearest coffee shop, and I order Nash's coffee and mine. As we sit, I tuck my wet hair behind my ears and curl my trembling palms around my steaming black coffee.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

Nash scoffs. "Are you?"

"I am. I truly am." Nothing I can say would justify lying to him, but I need to at least try—not for my sake, but his. "I was going to talk to you."

He studies the almost-black liquid in his cup. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"No," I admit. "But I still want you to know I wouldn't hurt you more than I already did." I should've chosen honesty from the start, but I was a coward. I didn't know how to admit I still clung to my past, and I wasn't nearly as strong as I tried to convince myself I was.

"When I accepted to go out with you, I didn't know Brian would come back," I go on. "I wanted to move on, and I liked you enough to try and move on with you."

"Liked me, but not loved me." His laugh is bitter. "I'm not a fool, Leah. You've never looked at me the way you look at him, which isn't his fault." He drags a hand down his face. "Not your fault, either, I guess. You can't force yourself to feel what you don't. I just wish both of you had had the courage to tell me the truth."

"Brian was my first love," I admit. "And at some point, I thought he'd be my last, but he left me. I waited for him for months, but I couldn't keep waiting for him all my life—not when I didn't even know whether he'd be back. Seeing him shocked me. He tried to explain everything, but it's too late. Too late to be with him," I say.

Nash sips his coffee, his gaze roaming my face. "But you still love him, and judging by what I saw, he still loves you too."

"It doesn't matter," I say. "The only thing that matters is that I hurt you when you didn't deserve it. You were kind to me, and you made me happy."

He shakes his head. "No, Leah. You wouldn't be so torn if I did. I was a distraction, but I deserve better, and so do you. Settling has never made anyone happy long-term, and I'd rather be alone than date someone who settled for me."

I nod, my bottom lip trembling. "I'd rather you date someone who loves you for real. I hope you can forgive me one day."

Nash extends his hand. "Already have."

I curl my fingers around his. A sad smile plays on his lips, then he downs the rest of his coffee and stands.

"See you around, Leah."

"See you, Nash," I whisper.

He walks out of the coffee shop, straight into the pouring rain. I order another drink for myself.

As the waitress places it on the table in front of me, I call Dad.