9. A Step Forward

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Diego, Alec, and I sit on a grassy hill, staring into the distance at the volcanoes

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Diego, Alec, and I sit on a grassy hill, staring into the distance at the volcanoes.

We're flying home tomorrow, and I have mixed feelings about it.

I went from hating the place where I am to loving it. A lot has changed in nine months. It's hard to be unbiased toward yourself, but I think I've changed, too.

For the first time, I have plans for the future and know what direction to move in. I'm looking forward to starting my studies and seeing the people I love.

That second thing scares me. I know my family will understand why I needed to travel. Mac, Annie, and Leah are a different story.

Leah's silence said more than any words would. She must be angry with me still, and knowing Mac, I will get a lot of shit for leaving the way I did.

"I'm gonna miss this view," Alec says, lying back on the soft grass with his arms folded behind his head.

"Same," I say. "And I'm not sure I'll be comfortable sleeping on a soft bed."

"It was quite an adventure." Diego looks at the two of us and winks. "I'm going to miss you two."

"You can visit," Alec offers. "No, scratch that. You should visit. Doctor O'Brien and I will show you around."

Laughing, I punch Alec's shoulder. "Easy, dude. Don't jinx it by calling me that. I have a long way to go."

"You're not the same whiny baby anymore, so I'll risk saying you're gonna be okay as long as you do your best and keep your head out of your ass, preferably on your shoulders."

We laugh.

"I'll visit," Diego says. "But first, I'm going to spend some time with my children. I missed them."

Diego lost the love of his life to cancer. His kids are grown up and independent, which made it easy for him to join the organization. He said he needed to keep busy and feel useful. It was his way to cope with his loss.

"Time to party." Alec rubs his palms together, then rises to his feet. Diego follows his lead, and I am the one who lingers behind.

I need a moment to myself. My heart squeezes in an odd way when I take one last photo of the volcano at sunset. It's as impressive as usual. Our teeny-tiny planet is a beautiful place to live, and seeing as much of it as I can is one of the most important items on my bucket list.

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