Take This To Heart: KakaSaku

Greiving

When she was twenty, she ran into him in the most unlikely place: the cenotaph.

It was pouring rain, a spring thunderstorm with high winds and almost a foot of rain. Sakura had come, to try and fix herself because this was a first, and it still hurt. She had loved Sasuke, tracing over his name on the memorial stone, and she bit her lips. She was cold, and she was tired, and she just wanted to sleep her depression away, but that's not how things worked. You had to wake up and face the world, and get out and do things with your life.

But still, Sakura allowed herself a moment to revert to the tiny child she once was. Sitting with her knees pulled to her chest in front of the stone, the rain came down in torrents on her skin, soaking her clothes the minute she had left the hospital. But as Sakura sat in front of the stone, she had enough time to reflect on her feelings towards everything really.

Naruto was as brash and wild as ever, but he had given up on Sakura a few years ago, right after the war where he realized how strong his feelings for Hinata were. Sakura was more than grateful for his moving on, not because was annoying (sometimes) or anything like that, but because he was genuinely happy. He was happy, and they were getting married, and Hinata had asked Sakura to be her maid of honour, and Sakura had cried.

She wasn't sure why she had cried that day, only that her chest hurt and it ached in a way she could only describe was similar to the chidori in her chest. Maybe she hadn't truly loved Sasuke at all, maybe she had been a fool in love with the idea of love and Sasuke seemed ideal. She cared about him, yes, she loved him yes, but not in the way that would have been healthy for either of them, it would have gone up in flames even if they had tired.

And admitting that to herself, made her feel a little better.

The night before she hadn't slept at all. She awoke in the middle of the night to the memories of the war, Madara and Obito, Sasuke's body splattered with blood and bleeding out and she couldn't do anything. She still cursed herself, never being strong enough to protect anything she cared about. Her hands clenched against her shins, chin resting on her knees as she stared at the name carved: Uchiha Sasuke. He was only seventeen, so full of anger and hate, but he had a change of heart during the war, and fought alongside Sakura and Naruto to protect Konoha, and that was what mattered to her.

The rain on her head stopped, and she blinked, eyes warm but not from the rain. She turned slowly, seeing Kakashi standing behind her, silent as he stared down at her slowly, covering her head with the umbrella. "You'll catch a cold."
She cried, and she laughed, the choked sob sounding so horrid because maybe she was finally letting Sasuke go. She was grieving, she had been trying for years, but so many emotions were built up, only an explosion would allow her to spill them out. Kakashi crouched down beside her, setting the white lilies in front of the stone, allowing himself to get wet in favour of the girl who was already soaking. "Thanks." She admitted with a small smile, a broken smile and they just sat side by side for some time, thinking everything over.

The crackle of thunder caused her to breathe in deeply, relishing the sound and the scent, the senses other than sight that were in full force around her. Kakashi's strong hand on her shoulders claimed her and she leaned into it, the Hatake shocked at the action, but he knew why she was here. "You're grieving."
She nodded, feeling ridiculous as she rubbed the endless amounts of tears from her eyes, laughing a little as her wet hands wiped wet tears. "Yeah, finally."
"It's unhealthy to keep everything in Sakura." She nodded, she knew that. But leave it up to Kakashi to remind her vigorously.

They sat in silence, the seconds turning to minutes, to what seemed like hours. He walked her home of course, wanting to make sure she wasn't going to do something stupid in the horrid storm. They stopped outside her apartment, and she fished for her keys in shaking hands, trying three separate times to unlock the door until Kakashi had to do it for her. She walked into her house, the Hatake giving her a soft smile from behind the mask, the rain pouring around them, and Sakura had realized long before her feelings. She had been in love with Kakashi since that damn day on the bridge. So with her hands buried in the man's flak jacket, she yanked him down, pressing their lips together through his mask. His eyes widened and Sakura tried, she tried to let the kiss show how important he was to her. The umbrella dropped from his hands, that rested softly on her hips as she pulled them into her apartment, kicking the door shut with her foot. Kakashi didn't agree, he didn't protest, he didn't know what to do. So when she reached to remove his jacket, his kind hands stopped her soaking wet ones, and she hung her head, crying as he pulled her to his chest, breathing in deeply. That day, a month after her twentieth birthday, she admitted her feelings of Kakashi to herself, and he held her through the night. When she woke up at dawn the next morning, he was gone.