You lie awake in bed, staring out the window at the dark night sky. Tears continue to stream down your cheeks, soaking your pillow, but you haven't felt pain in months. You haven't felt anything at all.
Your phone buzzes beside your bed, and you know it's your alarm signaling that it's 1am. You grab your phone and turn off the alarm, and as you set your phone back onto the table you stand up and stretch. Your hand caresses the back of your neck, and you twist your head to both sides to crack your neck.
Your feet move silently across your bedroom floor as you walk over to your closet. You twist the doorknob slowly, and quietly open the closet door. You pull the string and a small lightbulb illuminates the inside of your closet. You squat down and rummage around in the boxes that litter the floor of your closet, until you finally find the object you're looking for.
You stand up straight, with your shoulders squared, and pull the string to turn off the closet light. You close the door, latching it with a small click! You breathe in deep, and realize that you haven't stopped crying yet.
Your feet pad quietly over to the center of your room, where your ceiling fan remains motionless. You grab the chair from the table in your room, and set it beneath the ceiling fan. Carefully, you stand on the chair and skillfully knot the rope that you'd retrieved from your closet around the fan.
After making sure that the knot is secure, you take the other end of the rope and place it over your head. The circle of rope barely fits over your head, but you'd made sure that it would fit when you'd tied the noose earlier that evening.
A rushed huff of breath leaves your lips as you sigh, still not feeling any emotion. You hope that it won't hurt, but you also hope that it does. Perhaps this would be your final chance to feel something again, anything.
You kick the chair over, mentally prepared to lie in the bed that you've made for yourself.
