Dear You,

Georgia || Bryant

Georgia,

I know you won't read this, but this is more of a confession than a letter. Maybe that's what's best for me because I can't bring myself to tell anyone about you. It's not that I don't want to tell them, I guess it's more of an 'If I tell them, I'm bound to regret it' and so far my list of regrets has one thing. And that's you.

But aside from that, I have a few things to tell you: I hate you for three things.

1.) You had to be mine. You had to be the one that was on my mind every second of every day. You always told me you loved me, and I went to sleep with that in my head. I still do go to sleep with you as the last thought on my mind. Because yeah sure I was a fool for loving you, but at least I enjoyed it. I fell in love with the wrong person, but I still cherished every fucking moment we've had together.

2.) You always had to be drop dead gorgeous. Never have I ever seen you fail to catch the attention of everyone in a room. Whether it be envy, attraction, or admiration, the spotlight was always you. Except every time this happened, my heart would break a little, and it happened every. single. time. By now, you'd think I'm used to heartbreak but you'd be damn fucking wrong.

3.) Because you dropped dead. Like I've said before, I go to sleep with you as my last thought. I'd give anything to find out if I was the last thing running through your head. Or, at least the second to last thing. 'Cause the very last thing was a bullet. You can break two things, Georgia. That would be people and hearts. Somehow for me, you've managed to break both.

Being alive has so many marvelous things, but most importantly it had you and that's one of the greatest gifts I've ever gotten in my life. I had to say goodbye to you but it still feels like you'll waltz into my house and give me a little peck on the cheek. I'm stuck with memories of you because since you left, I haven't had one dream about you.

I know I'll never see you again. Not in Heaven, not in Hell. That means forever. I hate thinking about how long forever is, especially if it's without you. It's been almost a year and thinking of another one is dreadful. I don't know how I can last forever. You left one goodbye for me. Just one word written neatly in black ink on a white sheet of paper. There was no explanation for your death and there will never be one.

But hey, I've lived 247 days without you, and it's still only you that makes my heart race. I love you, and this is my final goodbye.

Bryant.