Dear You,

Liv || Greyson

Perhaps I should not degrade you as much as I am about to, because you are such a lovely person that I could not help but to admire both from afar and up close. You do have your strong points, like the entirety of your vocabulary, your profound knowledge and your undeniable beauty. But I am particularly upset that I am speaking in present tense, as if those qualities apply to you anymore.

Your eyes are the color of the sky belonging to a calm summer day. Children would be laughing in the playground that was built under the sky that your eyes contained. Parents watched their children happily swinging from the monkey bars and playing tag on the blacktop. Couples would be taking a stroll, hand in hand, on the concrete trail that led them to hell knows where. Families would be sitting on a checkered blanket set upon the green grass under a shady tree, eating a healthy meal that they had prepared only hours prior. The story that your eyes told was about a utopia that only few could be allowed into.

That is, until your eyes turned into the color of a stormy sea with violent waves that had sent several sailors to their deaths. As much as they are supposed to stay calm, they feign their calmness extremely well, considering that they know that the storm and the waves could sink them with their dreams and memories that they hadn't told the world yet. Perhaps the sailor wished to write a memoir in his life, but the memoir died along with him.

That was you, Liv. You came off as this wonderful, majestic girl that no man could ever get his hands on. God, when I got you, I thought I fucking won the lottery. I took no time to throw away everything that I had ever worked so hard to accomplish in life because I had gotten you. I had won the Liv that had never been tainted by any boy, and now I know why no one had ever wished to. I am not going to apologize for this but: I really wish it was possible see my ravaged mentality that you had been behind.

As much as you were the calm before the storm, you were also the storm, and God forgive me for saying this, but you were the storm that caused me to drown under ninety foot waves crashing down on my poor, weak body. I wanted air, Liv, but you kept making me choke on water. You sank my ship that was sailing happily across the ocean and you had done it so gracefully and skillfully. Yes, do it in the middle of nowhere so that no one can see my destruction, my fall, and my everything come crashing down.

Once I had you in my life, I had thrown everything away with so much happiness that everyone could hear it. The moment I drowned was so quiet that no one heard my screams for help.

Out in the open, you'd exclaim, "Oh Greyson, you're so funny!" but as soon as we were surrounded by nothing but the silence of only our steady breaths, it became, "Greyson, you pathetic bastard."

You are a knife. You showed everyone your spine while the tip was pressed so deeply into my heart. You were so captivating that I was unable to utter any words to tell you to stop. Your actions were so alluring and I could do nothing but stare at what a masterpiece you were creating out of me.

Unfortunately, I was oblivious to the fact that the masterpiece would be made of my blood.

They say you fall in love several times in your lifetime but they are never really the same love. Sadly to say, I hope to never experience the love you have given to me ever again.

Greyson.