Beautifully Broken (on hold for summer)

Beautifully Broken <\3

RIKKI'S POV-

As my best friend Ally and I left school I could only think of one thing. The mirror. I really didn't want to use it but the fact that I was going to my moms meant I was surely going to. My mom and I have never gotten along but lately it has been 100000 times worse, why might you ask? Oh its just because I asked to see my dad one more day a week than I was originally supposed to.

Only two people knew about my little... secret habit, Ally and our "friend" Eryn. I meant to tell Ally because after all she is my best friend and has been since sixth grade but in all honesty I didn't want to tell Eryn. I mean yeah we used to be the three amigos back in sixth grade but things have changed and so have people. But the point is it scares me that Eryn knows, I don't trust her.

As I got to my moms car I felt my shirt riding up. I quickly pulled it down so she wouldn't see the results of what had happened last night. I didn't like what I was doing to myself and neither did Ally but it was so relaxing and impossible to stop. In a way it makes me feel like all of my emotional pain is going away leaving behind only a small amount in comparison of physical pain.

My mother and I made small talk for a little while but after a few minutes we fell silent. that's how it was with us, either awkward silence or just a little emotionless conversation. I get her being mad about me wanting to see my dad, I really do but why does she have to take my fathers past out on me. Okay so he left her big deal, I am not him. Plus it wasn't even recent, they have been divorced since I was one.

After a while I got sick of the silence and decided to go on Wattpad. I was reading "Moments, a sequel to "Stole My Heart" one direction fanfics by Greyson_1D and I started crying as I finished it. She is an amazing writer but it had to be one of the saddest books I had ever read. I will have to have Ally read it, she is as into the boys fanfics as I am.

As predicted when my mom and I got home she found something to be mad about. So at the moment we are not speaking. I hate how she will do that to me, get into your head make you feel worthless and just over all get mad at you for no reason. I gave up fighting with her a long time ago but it still hurts. She is still my mom, still supposed to love me.

Anyway because I was being ignored it was now the perfect opportunity. I snuck into the bathroom and pulled out that small broken piece of mirror. I quickly ran it across my thigh two or three times watching the blood bubble up and then once more across my hip. Like I said I didn't like it, but it helped the pain.

I was now completely relaxed. Not only did cutting make the pain go away it also made me feel In control, like for once in my life I could choose how something ended now anyone else. I liked that feeling. Its one I hardly feel anymore with out the help of the mirror.

After putting the mirror back in its hiding spot under the sink I went into my room to check twitter. I saw that Niall Horan had posted a new tweet. Yes I follow the boys on twitter but what one direction fan doesn't? at least I am not one of the desperate girls that are always tweeting them to follow her or tweet her back. Yeah I would like them to but what is the big deal its twitter its not like they will fall in love with you because they read your tweet about listening to WMYB or Little Things. I read his tweet

@NiallOfficial Who ever can tweet me the first pic to make me cry can spend the day with me trying to cheer me up.

Since it had only been posted thirty seconds ago I figured I had a chance. I usually don't do these kind of things but come on it was a chance to meet Niall Horan what did you want me to do go buy a potato instead? I quickly took a pic of my cut up thigh and tweeted it to him. I knew this would probably disgust him more than make him sad but It was the saddest thing ever in my eyes so I decided to give it a shot.

Later that night while I was texting Ally she started to yell at me, she always does this when she sees that I have been cutting, like for some reason her yelling at me is going to miraculously make me never want to cut again.

I read my phone screen:

"Rikki you have to stop doing this to yourself" she text yelled at me.

Even though it wasn't completely sincere I apologized with a :( and said good night.

The next morning I woke up and started to get ready for school. After my shower I started to put on some mascara and a thin line of eyeliner just on my bottom water line to bring out the green in my eyes. Because my brown hair is too short to really do anything with I just brushed it and pined it back with a small blue bow. I also got dressed in my Princeton Lacrosse t-shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. I grabbed my book bag threw on some black moccasins and walked out the door.

The second I stepped out of my car I was attacked by a big ball of crazy otherwise known as Ally.

"Rikki you wont believe it, I won tickets to a one direction concert Thursday night and two back stage passes!!!"

I just stared at her in shock

"Please say you will go with me" She begged "it wont be any fun without you"

"OF COURSE I WILL GO WITH YOU, I WOULD BE AN IDIOT NOT TO!!! PLUS I WOULDNT MISS A CHANCE TO SEE ONE DIRECTION FOR THE WORLD"