Thanks To You || Alex Gaskarth

9. Living Under A Paper Moon

"You haven't been answering my phone calls, Alex," Jack frowned and he suddenly looked like a lost puppy with his sad brown eyes.

"I-I know," I stuttered, trying to calm my racing heartbeat. I felt Hayden's thumb brush against my hand. I looked down at her and she was watching with me worried blue eyes. Her touch calmed my pulse, so I slipped my hand over hers as she continued the soothing strokes of her thumb.

"Are you okay, bro?" Jack asked. "Are you ready to come home?"

"I don't think so," I replied, trying to not let my discomfort around Jack show. He was my best friend; I shouldn't have felt like this around him. 

Jack frowned at my response. "Well, you look better. You don't look like a skeleton anymore and it looks like you've been sleeping."

"I have," I answered. "I'm doing really well."

"I'm glad," Jack grinned happily. He was his usual carefree immature self and I tried to free myself of some of my anxiety. My band mate abruptly pulled me into a hug, thrusting me forward against his lanky torso. I hugged him back lightly.

"I missed you," Jack said quietly.

"I missed you too," I muttered. And I meant it. I'd been avoiding him and my discomfort around my friend remained, but I couldn't deny I missed this. I missed Jack and his stupid dick jokes and his brilliant smiles. He was silly and idiotic, but he was my best friend and having him here made me feel a bit more complete. 

We both pulled out of the embrace and Hayden smiled at us shyly. My lips still throbbed from the feeling of her sweet kiss. Jack had horrible timing and I wanted to go back to Hayden's body pressed against mine and our tongues battling for dominance. She was unbelievably hot and I'd been fighting off these feelings since I'd first been getting to know her. I couldn't help but hope that I was strong enough to make something work with her. I could only cross my fingers. After all, I had tons of baggage and painful anxiety, something I knew no girl wanted to deal with. I was broken from my thoughts by Jack's loud voice.

"Is this your house?" Jack looked from the expansive foyer to Hayden. She nodded. "Fancy," he smiled. 

"I'm Jack, by the way. Alex doesn't have any manners," he joked at my lack of introductions. 

"I'm Hayden," she replied. "I'm glad to finally meet Alex's best friend."

Jack grinned, then turned to me. "Man, I had to fucking track you down. I had to call your mom and get Kathy's address, then she said you weren't even there. Luckily, Kathy guessed you were here."

I nodded, wishing Kathy had kept her mouth shut. I didn't blame my aunt, she didn't know about my discomfort towards Jack or what Hayden and I had been in the middle of. 

"We have to go back to your aunt's house," Jack stated suddenly.

"What?" I mumbled.

"Just come on, I have a surprise for you, Alex," Jack looked like he was about to start bouncing up and down. 

"Is it another sex doll?" I sighed. "Cause I told you last time-"

"It's not a sex doll," Jack interrupted, shooting me a glare as Hayden giggled softly. "That was one time," he defended.

I shot Hayden a quick smile, pulling her hand into mine to lead her out the door. My speeding heart rate calmed at the feel of her palm against my own. Her electric blue eyes were full of emotion, but I couldn't pick a single one out. Mostly, she just seemed overwhelmed and a bit uncertain. Jack tended to have that effect on people.

I waited while she locked the front door and then we followed Jack towards the driveway. His rental car, a blue Dodge Charger, was parked sloppily in the circular drive.

"Where are we going?" I asked unsurely.

"Back to your aunt's," Jack stated.

Hayden pulled her hand out of mine, giving me a quick smile. "I'll take my car. I have school tomorrow so I'll probably need to head back early."

"Okay," I replied with a hint of disappointment. Part of me wanted to give her a quick kiss goodbye, but I held myself back. I had no idea how she felt about our kiss earlier and I wasn't about to fuck up our friendship. I watched her turn around, her hips swaying as she walked towards her Mercedes, parked at the other side of the long drive.

"Get in the fucking car, dude," Jack called out.

I sighed, pulling open the passenger door and climbing in before quickly looking over at Jack. "Wait, I'm not letting you drive."

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm a good driver," Jack disputed. I stared at him blankly. "I'm not a horrible driver."

"If I die because of your shitty driving, I'm not gonna be your friend anymore."

"Rude," Jack huffed, starting the engine. 

I immediately realized how relaxed I was growing once again around my friend. It was nowhere near how we used to be, but maybe I was actually getting better and things could go back to normal.

Hayden POV

I froze as soon as I stepped into Kathy's house. There was a girl sitting on the couch in the living room and I recognized her instantly. It was the girl from the picture that had triggered Alex's panic attack weeks ago. It was Jess. 

As soon as Alex walked through the door behind me, Jess' eyes lit up and she jumped up from her spot. "Alex!" she exclaimed.

He froze, looking at her like a deer in the headlights. I watched, waiting for his reaction. Jess approached him, instantly connecting her lips with his. I watched with morbid curiosity, hoping and praying that he'd push her away. But he didn't. Of course he didn't. My heart sunk, realizing Alex had chosen the taste of her lips over mine. Though no one paid any attention to me, I mumbled something about getting a drink from the kitchen.

It wasn't a complete lie. My throat was dry and I felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. As soon as I was in the privacy of the kitchen, I braced my hands across the counter, hanging my head and trying to breathe. I shouldn't have been this upset. I had never claimed Alex as mine in any way and he'd always made it clear that his heart still belonged with Jess. I guess there was some naive silly part of me that had hoped that he would fall in love with me too, the way I'd unknowingly fallen for him.

I poured myself a glass of sweet tea, taking a sip and trying to calm my racing pulse. Though I wasn't quite sure I could handle seeing Jess and Alex together, I walked out of the kitchen anyway. A vindictive part of me hoped that while I was in the kitchen, Alex had pushed Jess away and told her that he wanted nothing to do with her. 

When I returned to the living room, my hopes were far from fulfilled. Jess was practically sitting on Alex's lap and his smile was broad. Alex's eyes were bright as his hand intertwined with hers. I bit back the urge to cry. Jack was sitting on the opposite couch, grinning. 

As I sat beside Jack, the boy turned to me. "They look happy, don't they?"

"Yeah," I mumbled half-heartedly. "You planned this?"

Jack nodded. "I knew if I left it up to Alex, it'd be months before he was happy enough to come home. He just needed his girl back."

I bit back the urge to yell that I was Alex's girl, that I'd been the only one there for him in the past couple months. I was the one that calmed him down when he had a panic attack and Jess was the one who simply caused them. But I didn't say a word. I just nodded and watched as Alex and Jess kissed sweetly, feeling a strange pain tug on my heart.