Thanks To You || Alex Gaskarth

19. Somewhere In Neverland

Alex and I sat on the couch in the front lounge while everyone around us got ready. The boys had a show in about an hour. Alex was already ready to go. His hair was a little unkempt since he hadn't bothered to straighten it, but he was dressed and cleaned up and looked adorable. He kept placing quick kisses on my lips every few minutes, as if making up for lost time. I felt like we were in some blissful lovesick world. I knew there were still issues Alex and I had to work out. We would have to discuss trust and just how we felt exactly and what we both wanted. I would need to stop freaking out and shutting down every time there was a problem, and Alex needed to think things through and make mature decisions. I was dreading the conversation, but I knew it was necessary. But it would definitely have to wait until later. 

Some rock song was blaring through the speakers as the other boys rushed around the bus. Alex and I sat in silence--I was sitting on his lap while he rested his head on my shoulder. Alex was telling me all about Warped Tour and I loved how excited he got. He told me about the fans he got to meet and the other bands on the tour that he was friends with.

"There's a barbecue tonight," Alex said. "It's going to be short, cause we have to drive to the next stop. You wanna go?" 

"Sure, sounds fun," I smiled.

"And I can tell everyone you're my girlfriend, right?" Alex asked quietly, a slight hesitance.

"Uhh... no," I replied.

"What?" Alex questioned, moving back and looking at me with surprise.

I laughed. "Of course I'll be your girlfriend, silly."

"Don't tease me like that." Alex pouted. I kissed him quickly, effectively wiping the sad look from his face.

"Come on, guys! Get to the Monster stage," Matt called, attempting to get the rest of the guys off the bus. 

"I need to warn you about something though," Alex admitted, ignoring his tour manager. "I know that I want to be with you, a lot. I mean, I wish I would have realized it sooner. And I'm sorry that I didn't. I think I did actually, but I was just too stupid and-"

"I get it, Alex. We both made mistakes, but we're here now. You don't have to keep apologizing about it."

"Right. I just feel like you should know what you're getting into if we're going to be, you know, together." 

"Okay?" I said unsurely.

"You have to understand, Hayden. It's going to be different. It's not going to be like back home. There are going to be fans and they're going to want my attention when we go out there. They're going to talk about you online, and possibly to your face. And they're not always going to be nice," Alex explained. "I love what I do. This is my dream, but sometimes it can get too much. I would get it if you didn't want to be bothered with all of the drama that comes along with dating me."

I shook my head at the silly boy. "I don't care what people on the internet have to say about me. I love you and that's all that matters. They can call me ugly, slutty, stupid, whatever they want. As long as you're not the one saying that stuff, I couldn't care."

"I would never."

"Good," I smiled. "Now, let's go. I want to see you in action."

After grabbing our stuff, Alex and I stepped off the bus, hand in hand. I loved this feeling, knowing Alex was mine. There was no more worrying about if my feelings were returned or if he was still with Jess. Alex and I were official. That thought alone made a smile light up my face. 

The sun was blazing down on us and I was glad Alex had forewarned me to put on some sunscreen and dress light. The area around us was a sea of tour buses. Some had generic paint jobs, while others had elaborate band logos printed on the side. Several people greeted Alex as we walked by.