The Chauffeur || Thomas Sangster AU COMPLETED

iii.

Author's Note: Hey guys!! You could check out the official trailer of The Chauffeur above :D

***

"Katy! Word says you have a driver now" Lily popped out of nowhere, suddenly hooking our arms together. Thank God I took some of my anxiety pills in the girl's room earlier. It was already lunch time and the halls were crowded, thankfully my group arrived and they cleared the way for the 'popular' people. I forced a grin at her and nodded arrogantly. Think of it like this, would you expect the semi-arrogant, rich, happy and popular Kathelyn Thompson to be depressed, suicidal, anxious, paranoid, and self-harming? Nope. 'Never in a million years', they would say.

"But we call him a chauffeur, it sounds a lot more professional" I giggled. I had also mastered the art of faking a giggle without gagging. She laughed aloud as we made our way to our table.

"Ooh, your chauffeur, according to some freshmen, is attractive" Mandy, another 'friend' of mine, winked. I bit at the side of my cheeks and forced out a chuckle. I imagined Thomas with Mandy and felt a discreet bitter taste at the back of my throat. As selfish as it was, I didn't want anyone taking Thomas' time aside from me. I know it's literally the second time we've met but I get clingy with people who have seen me really smile and laugh. I wanted to be special with something or someone but I'm too detached from everything around me, I don't want to lose this connection just yet. People don't understand how it feels to be so detached from everything that even a single connection with a person was so valuable and losing that was like losing yourself again.

"Yeah, well those freshmen didn't even see him properly" I sassed with a grin so it seems like I was kidding when I really wasn't.

They chuckled whilst Nathan put his arm around Lily. Did I mention I'm the forever alone in the whole group? Sad, considering I'm in the popular group. Shouldn't I have the most friends? But no, I don't even have those 'dumb' minions like in the movies.

"Enough about my chauffeur, how's life?" I changed the topic as I saw the gears and wheels spinning behind Mandy's smirk.

*
I pursed my lips as I stared at my script. Every dialogue in the play mocked mental illnesses that I was tempted to quit from the play and have someone else take my role but I looked up from the stack of papers and watched other casts embracing their roles. I felt disgusted, but imagining how it would feel for people to find out how fucked up I am was even more disgusting so I swallow down the bitter taste and sighed.

"Alright, let's do this. Where's Jordan?" I asked, looking for Jordan Sanchez, who was also part of the popular clique for being a playboy who seemed shallow. He was also my partner.

"I'm right here babe" I hear him say behind me making me jump, I laugh it off but it made me shudder for him to call me babe. During practice and merely reading out the lines almost made me tear up from how shallow the script was. The self-harmers were called weak and the people who killed themselves were called cowards. Manic Depressives and Bi-polars were brought to jail, not taken seriously enough to bring them to mental health facilities and what was worse was the play was supposedly a comedy. I was going to be sick.

"Jessica is sick? By sick does she mean, too 'depressed' to come to school? I'm sure she's overreacting" I waved off with a snotty voice. I felt the bile rising up my throat or maybe it was my throat closing up. I bit my lip and used the paper to cover up my face. I didn't even hear what Jordan said next when I imagined these lines being used in real life. Used on me. My eye sight became blurry but I fought it back, I'm almost there.

When I looked down on the paper, my heart fell and there was no way I was going to make it out of this practice without being the talk of the school the next day. The mere thought of it was horrifying and if you think I'm over reacting, imagine yourself in my position. My heart raced and my anxiety was kicking in as my throat closed up. I stumbled back a bit, feeling lightheaded. I saw Jordan and the others rushing to my side but I waved them off and fought off the inevitable anxiety attack. I just had to hold it off for a minute or two, but I knew better than that. I was already starting to have one.

My breathing became ragged and I excused myself from the crowding people. I dropped the paper on the way backstage that lead to the exit.

"Miss Thompson" I heard Thomas' voice behind me and I turned around. He frowned when he saw my face and took me by my shoulders. "Why are you crying? Are you alright?" he asked and steadied me. I tried to look behind him, making sure there was no one who would see me like this but it was too late and the dam broke. The anxiety had officially set in and I gasped for air, everything felt like it was spinning and I was more than scared. I was terrified, this was one of the few that I had in public spaces. I usually had enough time to run to a toilet stall but here I was, a few meters from my clique.

Thomas wrapped his arms around, "It's going to be alright, just breathe love. Everything's going to be alright" he murmured in my ear. I couldn't think straight so I tried to just watch Thomas. He looked around and gently took his blazer off, arm by arm whilst still holding me. He wrapped the blazer around me and wrapped one arm around my shoulder and under my thighs.

He lifted me up slowly, millions of thoughts colliding in my head. The dominant was panicking how heavy I was for him. The tears streamed down my cheeks as he walked out the doors, thankfully there was no one at all. Only those in drama practice stayed at school this late, or at least that's what I thought.

"You're going to be alright, love. I'm here with you, everything's going to be alright" he whispered reassuringly in my ear, his lips rested at the top of my head. I snuggled myself up by his chest and sighed. He was warm and firm, I didn't let myself worry of what I was going to surely think of later. My mind was a mess but all I could focus on was Thomas' reassuring words and his lips resting on my head. Even when I was starting to calm down a tad bit, there were still tears that streamed down my face that I couldn't control, I was tired. It's been a long time but I genuinely felt safe.

BXs+