Poems at 02.00 AM

STOP THE MESS FROM KILLING THE WORLD

While the night began falling

And the world around me got to sleep

The voices started calling

And I really really really want to be dead

The numbness in my heart

The fog growing thicker in my head

Emotions spilled empty

Happiness and Sadness blended together

Gratefulness and hatred seemed the same

I couldn't feel happy for the ones I loved

I can't feel sad when I watch the world fall down

The shadows are craving an answer

And I don't know what to say

The demon following me around

Have started to be the only one that understands

The one I love are staying in a distance

And I'm too much of a mess to ask her to be with me

Cause that wouldn't be any fair

I wished she asked me to be hers

Although I already am

But I just need something that shows that I'm something she likes

She talks about her type, someone who makes her happy

And how the fuck am I supposed to make her happy

When I don't even know what happiness are

I'm lost in an broken world

The pieces of glass shattered around me

And I can't seem to see the bad side of being dead

But at the same time I'm too scared to even pick up the knife

And i wish I had the guts to end my life

My world is growing darker and darker for every minute

And I'm feeling like I'm burning to ash

I feel like I'm nothing

Like I'm something dragged on the ground

I don't mean more that a leaf on a tree

And most of the time I feel

Like the pretty seashell people pick up

and then when they see they aren't whole

They throw them away again and walk away.

And honestly, I'm just hoping to die

And everyday I keep up the lie

When in reality 

I really want help