Don't Let Go [[FRERARD/FERARD FANFIC]]

I Would Never

-Gerard's POV- (the entire story will be told in his POV)

I don't why I killed her; I had no reason too. All I know is that I saw her, something in my brain clicked, and then her blood is running down my hands. I dropped to my knees and knelt beside her body. I used my bloodied hand to sweep the hair out of her face, revealing her cold, dead eyes. Tears sprung to my own as I closed hers. "I'm so sorry." I whispered. Blood was looking around her head and shoulders from a large open wound; her head had been bashed in.

I didn't do that though; I would never kill somebody.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. "What happened to you?" I kept whispering to the body. I picked up her head and laid in in my lap as I rocked back and forth, tears still falling down my cheeks. Why did people have to die? Why was this woman dead? Did she do something wrong? I just kept rocking back and forth, back and forth, and back and forth. That's when I heard a door open, and I turned my head slowly towards the source. A woman dressed in white screamed when she saw me. "Please", I whispered, "She needs help." The woman kept screaming and pressed a button on the outside wall. Wall? I was in a room? I looked around and saw that I was in an all white room with nothing but a small bed in it and a tiny window right about it. I began to stand up; where was I? Tears still stung my cheeks as I looked at the nurse who was still screaming.

"YOU KILLED HER YOU SICK BASTARD!" She cried in fear. I shook my head; why would she say that.

"No, please", I whispered, confused and scared,  "I- I would never hurt anyone." The woman just kept screaming at me, and that only made me more upset. Why was she screaming at me? Tears kept pouring from my eyes, and that's when I saw two men, also dressed in white, push past the woman who had been standing in the doorway. They stopped and looked at the woman on the floor, and then they raised their disgusted and dumbfounded faces to me. Why were they looking at me like that? "Sh-she needs help." I pointed to the woman on the floor. "P-please help her." Then men just shook their heads, and that's when one lunged at me. The attack surprised me, and before I knew it, I was pinned to the wall behind me. I was shocked and scared. "Wh-why are you doing this?" I asked the man holding my hands back as the other one handed him a needle. I widened my eyes in fear. "No p-please," I squirmed, "Please, you're hurting me." The man's face remained stone as he brought the needle to my neck and injected something into me roughly. I cringed. "W-why are you hurting me?" The tears wouldn't stop coming as I immediately felt tired. I sunk to my knees, and brought my eyes to meet the gazes of the men. They glared down at me.

"Crazy bastards like you deserve to be dead!" One of them spat harshly as my eyes closed.

Crazy?

My eyes slowly opened as the memories began flooding back in. Crazy? Why had that man called me crazy? I didn't do anything. I-I didn't do anything. The tears began to come back as I tried to process my surroundings. I wanted to move my hands and legs, but I couldn't. I panicked and looked down to find that I was strapped down on a bed. I jerked my head around the room and found that this one was also all white, but instead of a window, a single fluorescent light hung on the middle of the ceiling. I kept squirming as tears stung my eyes. "Help!" I called out. "Please help me! There's been some sort of mistake, please!" I cried out, desperate and scared. That's when I heard a door click open. Due to the position I was strapped down in, I couldn't see much, but the person walked over to me. I looked up with my fearful eyes and saw an older woman dressed in a long, white lab coat over a black pantsuit. Her gray hair was swept in a bun on top of her head, and she wore glasses on the tip of her pointed nose. She had a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other. I let tears roll down my cheeks as I looked up at her, hoping she'd understand. "What's happening to me?" I choked out. "Why are you hurting me?" The woman looked down at me sympathetically and shook her head.

"Gerard Arthur Way?" She asked, looking into my eyes. Gerard Arthur Way? That was me, wasn't it? I'm Gerard Arthur Way... I'm Gerard Arthur Way... I'm Gerard.

I nodded, my head still spinning with confusion. "Please, where am I?" I tried to ask again. Why was this happening to me? Why was I wrapped down like some, like some... criminal?

The woman sighed sadly before beginning to tap her pen against the clipboard. "Gerard, we've had this same conversation at least once a week for the past year." I stopped squirming. What was this woman talking about? I'd never seen her before in my life! A migraine began to consume my mind as the situation got more and more confusing.

"I-I don't understand!" I stuttered, closing my eyes tight, trying to get the pain in my mind to go away.

"Gerard you've been at Ashecliffe for a year now." She spoke as if I should know.

I shook my head, my eyes still closed. "Ashecliffe?" I repeated fearfully. I was so scared. Why was I being treated like this? And that's when a small memory decided to reveal itself in my mind. Mikey. I opened my eyes. "Mikey?" I asked desperately. "Where's my brother Mikey?!"

The woman's face fell. "Gerard," she started sadly, but I wouldn't hear it.

"My brother!" I began to raise my voice. "WHERE'S MY BROTHER MIKEY?" I strained against the straps. I don't know why I was so panicked, but I had this feeling, this terrible feeling deep down inside of me, that something was wrong.

The woman sighed again, her eyes becoming glassy. "Gerard you are in Ashecliffe Mental Institution and Sanitarium. You're here because just over a year ago, you stabbed your entire family to death-",she stopped for a second, looking down at me with remorse, "Including your bother Michael Way." She finished.

My heart seemed to stop as the air in the room turned cold. My eyes snapped open as sudden memories began to flood my mind.

"Gerard! Gerard what are you doing?"

"Oh my god! Oh my god, GERARD PLEASE STOP!"

"GERARD PLEASE, AHHHHHHH!"

Screams of anguish filled my mind, and I began to sob. "W-why?" I sputtered despairingly. "I would never hurt them!" I kept on sobbing. "I would never hurt them! I WOULD NEVER HURT THEM!" I cried and yelled as if repeating the statement would bring them back.

The woman just stood over me. "You're guilt controls your mind, and that's why you have these fits of amnesia and anger. You don't want to remember what you did. You're mind has split itself so that when those memories begin to come back to you, it replaces them with anger and confusion." She spoke as if she were sorry for me. "That's why you killed your nurse today."

I sobbed and sobbed as a war was going on in my mind. I killed my brother. I killed my family. I shook my head viciously, but the sadness and remorse wouldn't go away. I killed my brother. I killed my family. Tears stung my cheeks. I hurt people. All of a sudden, everything became overwhelming, and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Then, as if by magic, the excruciating migraine that had been controlling me vanished. Something had changed because all I felt now was the loneliness and the darkness.

I felt broken.

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Ok I'm really super exited for this book! And yes, before anyone asks, it's going to be a pretty dark fanfic. I'm not saying the entire thing is going to be depressing, but this definitely isn't a happy story. This idea came to me one night, and I thought it would be cool to turn this into a story! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, and I'll continue to update if you guys liked it! The only thing is that I'm currently in the middle of writing another fan fic, so I may only update this one every couple of days. I hope that doesn't stop you from reading because my messed up mind already has a ton of plans for this book ;) I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, feel free to vote and comment! I love to hear you guys' opinions and feedback! Thank you so much for giving this a chance! STAY FABULOUS *MWAH*

---Fabbyulous1