Little bump

Worse mistake ever

I decide to go out to a party, Corey is almost a month old my mom can watch her, I need to forget Dinah, I get a drink from the bar and then I see a cute guy walk up to me "hey cutie I'm Luis" he says "I'm Lauren" I say then chug my drink and get another one "so you come here often" he asks I laugh "come on you have nothing better then that" I say "well I could always do this" he says and kisses me, I chug my drink again and then I black out

I woke up the next day, beside Luis? He's naked, I'm naked what the fuck happened, I wasn't even drunk, I wake him up "what the fuck happened I wasn't that drunk I only had two drinks" she laughs and says "that's why I have this" he holds up a bag with a white substances in it I jump up get dressed and run out of there, I was a block away when I called her
D-hello?
L- D-Dinah w-where a-are y-you
D-I'm at home lo babe what's wrong where are you I'm coming
L-H-hurry I'm at the corner of stanly and Remington" I says
D-I'm coming baby calm down I love you I have to go ok
L-I love you to bye
I sit and wait for her, how am I suppose to explain going to a club getting drugged and cheating on her, I here a car stop infront of me, I see her and run into her arms sobbing
"Lauren you smell like alcohol what happened" she asks sitting me down, "Lucy made me go out with her, I didn't want to, I got a drink and this guy Luis he he" I couldn't find Ian my sentence I was crying so hard, Dinah got the hint and said "did he use protection" I sob harder knowing he didn't "let's go get Corey and go home ok babe" I nod getting in her car, she pulls into my moms drive way and we get Corey and thank my parents for letting me stay there, "lo so there's a possibility of another baby" she says I nod trying not to cry "I'm so sorry Dinah this is my fault" I say as tears fall down my face "no lauren this is NOT your fault understand me none of this is your fault" the car ride was silent, when we got home Dinah was spending time with Corey bc we were gone for almost a month I ran to the bathroom and get in the shower, I scrub my skin till it bleeds, I feel so dirty, I sit in the corner of the shower, blood falling out of my skin sobbing, I should have never left her, I'm a horrible person I should just leave, Corey won't know me she'll have Dinah,
I grab a razor and slice my arm 25 times and then my thighs and let the blood flow freely, I here Dinah start to panic when she can't get Corey to stop crying so I get out dry off and put on a sweater and a pare of jogging pants "she won't stop crying, I don't know why" I take her from Dinah and hold her for a minute and she stopped crying, "how did you do that" she asks "she likes being bounced alittle" I reply, I hand her back to Dinah and maKe her a bottle, all I could think is "she needs you lauren she's your reason"
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My back space button is not working right now but this was herd to write I hate when lo is depressed but it's leading upo to something and someone 😏😏 and sorry for all the grammar mistakes I just found out I'm legally binding in my right eye and can't really see out of my other eye rn
Ig @beanielaurinah and @bandssavefans
Xoxo Danielle