The Rockstar and Me

Chapter 11

The next day, I wake up later than usual. It's almost noon and that means seven hours until my date with Mason. I don't even know if I should call it a date. He just asked if I wanted to go out.

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom to do my business. Then I head down to the kitchen to find something to eat. I find Ian sitting alone at the table eating a sandwich. "Hey." I walk go the refrigerator to make my own sandwich.

"Hey." He replies.

"Where's mom and dad?" I ask.

"They went out to go eat and shopping for the day."

"And they didn't bring us with them?"

He shrugs. "Oh well. They need a day to themselves, that's what they say anyway."

"Okay." I sit down across from him with my sandwhich. "Well what are you doing today?" I ask him.

"I don't know. Probably hang around here."

"You can hang with me." I take a bite out of my sandwich.

"I heard that you're going on a date."

I look up at him curious as to where this is going. "Yeah. I am, but it's not really a date. We're just going out."
I don't really know what made me change they way I said that, but I just put it that way now.

He rolls his eyes. "I'm glad for you, though. He's good to you."

I nod, and then decide to ask him what was bothering both myself and him the other night. "Ian, what was wrong the other night?"

He tenses a little, but I still notice. "It was nothing."

I then go for a more subtle way of talking about this. "You know, sometimes I may act like I don't like you or pick on you but that's what we do. We're brother and sister and Ian I do love you. Even if that makes you sound like a girl, I know you do too. You can tell me anything, I'll be here for you."

He sits in silence and I finish off my food. Ian sits there just picking at his, even though he had his before I even made mine.

"I know, Em. It's not really a big deal." He hesitates, and that scares me.

"Then you can tell me." I push.

"Okay, but don't make a big deal." I'm known to be protective and a little too caring, even if I don't act like it. I nod at him to continue. "I had a panic attack when you were out with your friends Tuesday." That was the night I ran into the band boys with Sadie at the mall.

My breath catches a little. Ian went through a pretty rough phase of depression when he was in middle school. He didn't harm himself or anything like that. Ian would get bullied,and that depressed him. He wouldn't eat as much and at one point the bullying got physical. He would come home with bruises all over him and I wanted to strangle the kids that did that to him. My parents took care of it, but he would still get worried and shut down. You may think it's not a big deal, but I'm his big sister. Sure, I had my own teenage things going on, but I was still there for Ian. It hurt me to see him like that. He became worried that the bullying and tormenting would happen again. Ian would start to panic really badly, and when he would panic it wasn't the best thing to see. The panic became more frequent, he went to a therapist and he was on medication. He has a panic disorder. He got stressed out or something else would trigger a panic attack. They aren't as common since he's in high school. He did have a few but he hasn't had one. Until now.

Have the bullies and everything started to come back?

"When did this happen?" I ask, still recovering a little bit.