I lied.
It was a mistake.
Now my mate hates me.
Can I blame him?
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I wake up in an unfamiliar room, and it takes a moment to remember where I am. Once I do, I roll over with a sigh and stare at the vaulted ceiling. The thought of getting out of bed makes me feel defeated. Not only do I have to address yesterday's unhinged behavior toward my pack's Beta female, but I also need to face Marna.
Just thinking of her makes me start to cry. I don't want to lose her, but I'm not sure how to keep her, not with what she witnessed yesterday.
Maybe I can skip today? Just stay locked up in this room and avoid everyone and everything entirely. It's not like I really owe them anything, not with how they treated me for years. For a moment, it seems like the perfect plan—a plan that is quickly squashed when I hear muffled voices on the other side of the door.
"Move," I hear Marna say. "I need to speak with Willow."
"I'm not sure now is the best time—"
"That wasn't an ask, Rowan. I will see Willow, and I'll see her now."
A giggle slips through my heartache, and I say, "She can come in, Rowan." Even though I'm absolutely terrified by what letting her in means. I slip out of bed and make my way toward the door, pushing the dresser out of the way as Marna gently knocks on the other side.
"Willow, honey, are you okay?" she asks.
My hand hovers over the doorknob, gently shaking. This could be it for Marna and my friendship. For two years, she's been my rock. She stood beside me when my entire world had fallen apart. She stood beside me without judgment and immeasurable grace. She took my word with no questions asked. It didn't matter that I was hated by everyone in my pack; she believed in me despite that.
"Honey, I'm not one to follow herds. If my time on this earth has taught me anything, when the herd moves, you'd better be still, or you'll find yourself following that herd right off a cliff," she had said this not long after we first settled in Montana. I'd started opening up to her little by little. It sounded good at the time. It brought me comfort knowing someone was on my side. But the truth is, she didn't truly know me when she said this; she'd never seen what I really am.
What if the herd, or pack in my case, was right?
Doubt, like poison, moves through my thoughts. Maybe the reason I'm always left out is that I deserve to be alone?
"Willow?" she asks again.
I take a deep breath as I prepare for rejection...again. Only, this time, it's going to be so much worse.
Unlocking the door, I swing it open, finding Willow and Rowan standing in front of me. Marna looks impeccable as always, and, well, Rowan looks a hot mess. His eyes are puffy, and his hair is tattered. He's wearing flannel pajama bottoms and a black T-shirt with a hole in the shoulder.
