Nothing's Fine

• 11: Personal •

Mason was right, it was pretty much around the corner. I saw the sign for Hasting Mills Park come and go quickly and then we pulled up to the curb on a little side street. Mason parked the car, we took our drinks out, and we started walking towards a path.

"Um... am I about to be led to a tragic ending here?" I teased, pausing at the top of the stairs.

"No, Ginger. Have a little faith," Mason laughed.

"I mean sure, but it's your fault if they base a Law and Order episode off of us," I warned, following him down the stairs. As we descended, the trees thinned revealing a rock-covered shore-line with an incredible view of the city and mountains across the water. It was a magical spot in the middle of a place that often felt quite the opposite.

"It's still your turn Charlie," Mason said as we approached the bottom of the stairs.

"Hm... can I ask you something more personal?" I asked. It was quiet for a moment; the water lapping at the shore and our feet against the rocky sand filling the silence.

"If I can ask you something in return..." Mason replied. I sucked in a breath, unsure if it was worth it or not.

I wanted to know more. To help. I just didn't want him to know more about me. He shouldn't know more. It was better that way.

Yet, as I sat down on a large tree trunk that had fallen over, I heard myself saying, "Okay."

"Okay," he repeated, sitting next to me.

"So... why do you – no. Um, what's your father like?" I asked.

Mason took an audible gulp of his drink before saying, "Oh."

Instantly, I felt bad. It was clearly a touchy topic and I had to ruin it by prodding and poking. I opened my mouth to apologize but instead Mason spoke.

"Well, there's my father now and there's my father before." Mason said.

"You don't have to–"

"My father before was..." he started, cutting me off with a wistful smile. "He was caring. He always put his family first. We'd do fun things like play soccer in the backyard or go hiking. He used to take my mom out every Wednesday night for their date night..." He looked down for a moment and when he looked up again, Mason looked so sad and irritated my breath caught in my throat. "My father now... he's a workaholic, he's judgemental, cold, distant... unhappy, he's – he's not my dad anymore." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, and I blinked them away quickly. "I just didn't know you could miss someone who lives with you."

"You can," I whispered, my voice sounding strangled. I knew that feeling. I didn't live in it for long but it wasn't easy. I wondered if that was the reason for his sadness, but I felt like there was more. What would make his dad change from a caring parent to someone who's never there? I swallowed hard before speaking again. "Your turn Green Eyes."

Mason gave me a small smile. "I think you already know what this one is going to be..." I nodded and smiled back reassuringly. It was a fair trade-off. "Why is it so important to you Charlie?"

"My Dad gave me the panda bear for my birthday when I was ten," I stared out at the water as I spoke. It looked as gray as I felt inside thinking about this. "That was my favourite animal... When I was really little, my Dad took me to the zoo and I thought I was a panda because I'm mixed. He thought that was hilarious, so he called me that... the teddy bear now is um, wearing a necklace that I used to wear everyday until I almost broke it at track practice. It has a picture of the two of us in the locket..." I took a shaky breath. "The last picture we took before he d–" I cut myself off.

"When?" Mason asked quietly.

"A month after my tenth birthday... On May 3rd, he was murdered." I didn't tell many people this because I didn't want their pity. I hated looking in their eyes and seeing the pity pool there and know I didn't deserve it. But, when I looked into Mason's eyes I didn't see pity.

I saw understanding.

Mason gently wiped a tear off of my cheek that I didn't realize had fallen.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly.

"No, I'm sorry," I replied, staring into his sincere, green eyes. "I shouldn't have been upset with you. I just..." I trailed off staring back at the water. "I miss him and I wish he was still here."

Mason pulled me into a hug. For a moment, I stiffened in surprise and then I settled into the hug. He was warm and comfortable, but the warning bells in my mind were screaming.

What are you doing Charlie? He's going to hurt you. He's going to leave you or turn on you like all the rest. Your vulnerability is dangerous.

Despite trying to quiet my mind, I knew it was right. After today, this can't happen again. I don't care what he promised.

It's inevitable.

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Author's Note: A little shorter chapter but a loaded one for sure!  We're getting more backstory from both Charlie and Mason! What do you think?