I woke up not even sure what the hell went on last night. I looked at my phone only to see that I had 15 missed calls and 7 text messages.
Mostly from Chaz apologizing and begging for us to get back together. But 2 messages from Tony and 1 from my dealer. I read Tony's first:
"Hey, I got your number out of Chaz's phone, I just wanted to make sure you were okay and you were being good" Who does he think he is.? My baby daddy.? I am a single women who does what she pleases.
I was so upset with that text that I didn't bother reading the other text he sent me. So I went strait to the text from me dealer and all he wanted to know was if I was still wanting my things. And honestly, I didn't. I realized that this baby deserves to live and have something that I didn't have. And I was being selfish, I cant hurt something that has never bone anything to anybody. I told my dealer that I didn't need those things anymore. I took a deep breath because I knew this would be a hell of nine months.
I threw my phone across the other side of my bed and sat up and yawned. Stretching, and standing to my feet. And walking to by door, hearing my kitty meow before I even touched the knob. His name is Andy, short for Andrew. And I have had him for nine years. He is my everything, we have been through so much.
I picked Andy up and made my way out of my room. Before I went into the kitchen I turned the heat down, finding myself very warm. And began to boil myself some water for my tea. I hopped up on the counter, swinging my feet. Still holding my kitty. I let him jump out of my hands on to the counter when the water started to boil, so that I could jump down. Fixing up my tea, I heard my phone ring so I ran back in my room to grab. Know it was nobody but Chaz. So I answered:
"Hello" I said with an obvious attitude.
"Ivy, I have been trying to call you, since..ya know. That night. " I could tell he was intoxicated.
"Yeah, well I figured that I didn't need to answer you. For the simple fact that you decided to leave me and your baby when we need you the most. *sighs* Listen, you don't want this, and I don't need you. So do both of us a favor and leave me and my baby alone."
I hung up feeling like a strong independent women. Very proud of myself, but knowing that I will always have Tony. But I had to make a plan, I knew I couldn't keep going to school, but I didn't want to drop out either. So I decided that I would start online schooling and take up a job. This was going to be difficult and I didn't know what I was going to tell my mom.. But if I can get pass those steps, I should be able to hide this from both of my parents for a while. I figure that I would start to show at three months and tell them at, at least four months. I didnt want to tell them to early beause the will shove abortion down my through. But not to late because I dont want them to be pissed at me for not telling them. What is a girl to do?
I went back in the living room, not in the mood for tea anymore. But instead maybe a walk to clear my head or maybe come up with some new idea's. I wanted to see if Tony wanted to come but I didn't want to make it seem like I always wanted him around because he wanted to be the father of my baby. But I kinda did, he was sweet and caring. And that is the kind of father figure I want my child to be around.
I was stressed and exhausted, I just wanted to take a nap. So I did, I laid on the couch dozed off. Hopefully me and Tony think of something before the weekend is over.
~ I am really sorry about not updating in a while, I have been soo busy with school. But if you are still with me thank you for sticking around :D ~
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