In the Midst of it All

Seven Reasons to Smile

The world is a cruel place. There are so many reasons for tears, so many reasons to cry, to lock yourself in a room and be miserable all your life. To hurt over things that seem impossible to change. People are dying, left, right, and centre, and we are letting it happen.

I sit cross-legged on my bedroom floor, reading these words, stroking the pages as if they are infused with memories that are too fragile to tear. I read each word delicately, thinking and rethinking, why she wrote them. It hurts to know that my own sister felt this way and I did nothing about it, but I have to fix this. It might be too late, she might not be able to hear me, but I have to make it right. Whether she will be lying in a wooden coffin or watching from above, I have to tell her the right thing.

I get up, slowly, and walk towards my closet. I push aside the black outfit for tomorrow, reach behind the shelf and take a small notebook and a pen. I read each word of her emotions, reliving her life, and then write. She listed in her diary all the things she had to cry about, I need to tell her the reasons to smile. The reasons she could have been beside me today.

Reasons to cry
No one cares. There are seven billion people in this world, and whether I live or die, it won't so much as scathe the surface of this stone.

When I read this, I write, the words flowing freely across the page, reminiscing her smiles, her laughter, wondering if her happiness was always an act. I counter her list in her diary, with my list in her eulogy, telling her happiness is inviolable. Hearing her voice as I read, hearing mine as I write, I argue persistently with my sister. If only we had this argument when she was alive...

Reason to smile
Someone cares. There are seven billion people in this world, and yet you are the cause of happiness for someone, and if you die, they will too, inside. If the world doesn't love you, whoever loves you means more than the whole world put together.

If we'd had this argument when she was alive, maybe she still would be. But as I write, I feel as if I am nursing her wounds, healing her.... Just too late.

Reasons to cry
All good things end. Nothing good ever lasts. Every time you find something good, it only means you'll end up in tears.

I shake my head reading this, and write.

Reasons to smile
No matter how many times you let go of what you thought was the only good thing that would ever happen, something new and better will come along, and if it doesn't, then you'll always have the good memories, even though it's over, they still happened.

I go on arguing with my sister, way into the night, writing her eulogy.

You can only make people happy by being happy yourself. If you smile, really smile, inside and out, you're a magnet to happiness.

A smile is sometimes the one thing that stops you from crying. Life is one big roller coaster, right?

"...And roller coasters take unexpected jolts, go suddenly upwards instead of what you thought was a vertical drop. So when you feel like crying, just smile, and ride that high instead!" I read, standing before the crowd at my sister's funeral.

"One last reason to smile" I will Alexis to hear me. "It tells life it will never get to you, it tells life it can throw whatever it wants at you and you'll still be happy."

I finish and go outside to breathe. My parents are reading now but I need some time alone, they'll understand.

I was too late. Why didn't she tell me? Why didn't I argue with her about the most important thing in the world, when I argued with her about using my shampoo? A tear rolled down my cheek, and I suddenly heard a harsh voice.

"No, don't you dare cry, Ronnie Marshall, don't give me five reasons not to and then cry. Don't make my mistake. Smile."

"Alexis?" I whispered.

But she was gone. Just a small paper was left beside me. It read: Smile because I love you. Smile because I always will.
And I never stopped smiling, for I had seven reasons to.

(A/N) Thank you for reading! At the top, or side if you're on a computer, I have attached a video that kind of ties with the topic. That and I love iiSupewomanii and I think this video is really important.

So yeah. Any #TeamSuper here? Also which other Youtubers do you like? I personally like Superwoman, Ryan Higa and have recently started watching Dan and Phil. Comment below! ( I felt like a Youtuber saying that)

Don't forget to like comment and subscribe because I do make new videos every Monday and Thursday!
~Super-Sunflower.