Sunlight and Storms

To Fly or Fall

(Audio Ekphrasis

For this experiment, pick one of the recordings below and write something while you listen, trying as best for the music to "interact" with you as you write. You don't need to listen to/write to the whole recording, but definitely sample a few of these to see if anything in particular speaks to you and listen to as much as you can. Don't worry about writing a ton—300-500 words is great—the point is to listen attentively to the music and let that be your guide as your write. It's fine to be abstract or impressionistic... whatever you're feeling! )

Sweat dripped down her brow as she allowed the music to pull her in circles. Piqué turn after piqué turn, round and round, until she was dizzy and her toes bled. Her pointe shoes were dying, disintegrating into her arch, but she didn't care. No, she had to keep dancing. Some people ran, some people played instruments, some people painted, but she danced away from her problems. Or maybe into them. She felt like Giselle during the mad scene, she felt frantic and violent and stumbling. Or maybe Victoria in The Red Shoes, dancing because she has to. Her hair whipped her face, snapping her out of her state.

She dreamed of playing Victoria. Now, it feels more prevalent than ever. Victoria's pain was in her chest, performing as she grieved because what could the world possibly mean that her best friend is gone. How was that even possible? If he wasn't here, where else could he possibly be? Where was her love supposed to go if he wasn't here?

The music shifted, frantic violins changing to slower piano. So she slowed, shifting to small steps, her right foot in coupé as her arms hugged herself. Small balancés and relevés to the piano beats, leaning into the gentility. She felt herself beginning to breathe again. She was Aurora at the beginning of Sleeping Beauty, new to society and naivé to the pain that will come. She was Juliet, experiencing her first ball and being enchanted by what she found. Although, the music of Tchaikovsky and Prokofiev was far grander than the gentle works of Debussy.

She longed for the naivety of Aurora, of the idea of pricking her finger and seeing blood for the first time and finding it exciting. Of not knowing pain until that spindle. Hell, she longed for that spindle just so she could sleep. It would be so much easier than being awake.

The music shifted again, flute mixing with strings and piano, pulling her into sissones and sautés. Jumping until she couldn't breathe again, shifting between gentle and sharp. Fast and slow. Small hops en pointe, circling her leg as she did so. Her arms were soft, the gentle wings of Odette pulling her higher. Don Quixote's Cupid filled her when the music grew lighter, a gentle smile pulling at her lips. The dichotomy between Odette's gentle sorrow and Cupid's shining joy twisted and swirled in her chest. When to fly and when to fall...

Odette always seemed sad to her, whether it was from her curse or she just knew the prince would lead to her fall, she wasn't sure. Odette's sorrow is always what called her to the character, she thought it was easier to portray than joy, but she didn't know true sorrow until now. She felt so stupid for ever thinking she understood sadness. Dancing Cupid up until now was the best choice because there was no pain that she could portray to match what she felt.

And, the music stopped with a flourish of strings. Her world spun, trying to understand, trying to fly away from all of it. All she could do was try to breathe. Her lungs ached, her muscles burned, she didn't even want to see the state of her toes. She slumped against the mirror and a burning sob fell from her throat. She let out a screech, practically tearing off her shoes to reveal her blistered toes with blood around the nail beds. The pointe shoes hit the wall on the other side of the room. She just couldn't. If anyone asked, she tried to fly, but deep down, she chose to fall.

(I used Debussy's Les Trois Sonates
First Paragraph: 5:24-14:13
Third Paragraph: 14:13-19:42
Fifth Paragraph: 32:35-37:15)