Can I ever forgive? [MAJOR EDITING]

Breaking point

Hi, my name is Claire Sutton, I am 11 years old, and I am mentally and physically exhausted. I got back from school at 4:30pm yesterday and I had a lot of school work to do, I also had to finish all the housework, I even saw my mother come home at midnight, she just said goodnight and went to sleep, I stayed up working until 2am, the night before was nothing better. I have formed eyebags under my eyes from the lack of sleep, I'm exhausted, I just want a break.

I walked into class and sat down at the back of the class and curled up on my desk, I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want a break.

A few seconds later, I felt a shot of pain on the back of my neck and giggles, are you serious? Now? Please go away, I don't feel like this right now. Leave me alone. I didn't get up, I just lay there, ignoring them.

The laughing died away and Emily was the first one to speak, she was the leader of the group, "Oh my gosh, Claeor," I heard giggles, these people are really annoying, "Can you not put up with a bit of extra school work? You look like my dead great great great grandfather!" I heard a roar of laughter behind me, these people are seriously getting on my nerves. What do they want from me?

I lifted my head up and rolled my eyes at them in annoyance, that swept the grins off their faces, but then they were angry at me, I don't even know what they were angry about, they were the ones who came over here and started annoying me, I just want a break.

"Did you just roll your eyes at us?" Lisa asked me in a really sassy voice, it was really annoying.

"Oh my gosh, Claeor, who do you think you are?" Sally asked in an equally sassy voice. I sighed, and didn't bother looking at them.

"Hey Claeor, if you're going to act like that, we won't want to be your friends anymore, and then you'll be all alone, and you'll have no one, so you better put a smile on your face and be nice to your only friends. We're all you have, and you know it." Emily was always the meanest, but what she said hurt a lot, and I was getting angry, I didn't answer her.

The girls didn't take a hint that I really wasn't in the mood, "Who do you think you are, Claeor?" Scarlette asked me. That's it.

"I'm human, you should try it sometime." I answered blankly. They opened their mouths in disgust and shock.

"You are nothing but a pathethic loner, you should be happy that we take pity on you and take you under our wing, you need us, so shut up." Brooklyn raised her voice.

"I'm not a pathethic loner! And I can live without you!" I raised my voice even higher, the whole class was now staring, but I didn't care.

"Please, Claeor, we all know you need us." Mackenzie raised her eyebrows and smirked at me.

"No! I don't need any of you!" I screamed, panting with the anger inside me.

"Yes, you do." Scarlette told me.

"NO I DON'T! You're all just mean to me!" I stood up and screamed even louder.

"You know what Claeor," Emily said, "Yeah, you should try living without us," she raised her eyebrow, "We don't need you, we just thought we should take pity on a poor, weird, ugly, fat, disgusting, useless, little girl like you, but I guess, you don't need us to, because you're doing perfectly fine sulking in the corner of the room all by yourself." She said slowly, emphasising all of the hurtful words she said. "You don't look like you need us at all." She added sarcastically. My anger was boiling inside me, I wanted to hurt her.

The girls laughed. Nina nocked over my chair with my bag on it, making all my books and stationary scatter across the floor. Emily pushed my desk over and it fell on me and hit my knee hard, I grabbed it in pain. They walked away with their heads held high, like they just did some type of good deed or got awarded some world trophy. I looked over to Emily with pure hatered, my knee was throbbing.

"EMILY!" I screamed and stormed over to her and the girls and as she turned around smirking. Without thinking twice, I slapped her across the face, hard, she bent down, grabbed her cheeck and started crying.

I looked around for my next target, all of the girls were staring at me with fear in their eyes, I grabbed Lisa's ponytail and threw her to the ground with her hair, she grabbed her head in pain. I then looked around for my next target.

I punched Mackenzie in the shoulder, she grabbed it, hunched over a bit and backed away, scared of me.

I looked over to Brooklyn and dug my nails into her arm, she flinched in pain, I pressed hard, letting all my anger that has been bottled up inside me for 5 years out into her arm. They will regret messing with me, every single one of them.

"CLAIRE!" My name was called out correctly by my class teacher, making me let go of Brooklyn, I noticed how red her arm was from it, and there was blood bleeding through the nail marks on her skin. There was tears in her eyes.

My teacher brought all of the girls I hurt and showed me what I had done. My anger dissolved, and then came regret. I don't like them very much, but I can't believe I did this to them, I hurt them, some of them are crying, they're in so much pain, because of me, I did this, I'm a complete monster.

I had a lot of punishment because of what I had done, and the girls stopped hanging out with me, I no longer had anyone to talk to, nobody dared speak to me, everyone was scared of me, I know it's stupid, but I kind of miss the girls, they were my only friends, even though they weren't really friends, more like bullies, but they talked to me, and because of me, they're gone, the closest thing I got to friendship, destroyed, all because of me.

They were right, I can't do anything without them, I need them, but I know I can't go back to them, not after what I have done to them, I'm so stupid, I'm disgusting, horrible, I'm nothing but an irrelevant monster. I regret everything, I'm such a monster, no one loves me, I have no friends, my father left me, and even my mother doesn't care about me, everyone would be so much better if I was gone, if I never had existed, mother and father would still be together, they would be happy, my school would do so much better without an irrelevant weirdo in the corner of the class.

A few days after that incident, I decided that there was no reason for me to live anymore. I felt empty, broken, lifeless, there was no more hope in my life anymore, and I was just taking up space.

"Ew it's that girl again,"
"She's such a loner,"
"She doesn't have any friends,"
"I heard her name was Claeor,"
"You know that girl beat up a few girls at once,"
"This is what you get when you bully people,"

I heard students I don't even know anything about whisper to their friends about me, there is no point anymore. I can't do this. I walked upstairs into the empty corridor where there were no students, and I walked over to the edge of the balcony, dropped my bag to the floor, and sat on top of the railing, facing the breeze, I looked down, closed my eyes, and pushed myself off the balcony, hoping it will end, and with that, I blacked out.

Hi, my name is Claire Sutton, I am 11 years old, and this is my breaking point.

First chapter, I hope you guys liked it. Please tell me if I typed anything wrong. Thanks for reading! I haven't edited the other chapters yet, and I wrote it last year, so it won't really fit with this story if you read it, so just wait 'til I edit it, okay thanks bye!

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