Can I ever forgive? [MAJOR EDITING]

second approach

After a whole day of stress, whacking, bullying and crying, I  walked home slowly as I cried all the way there.

I took out my house keys from my backpack with no strength at all, love seems to give strength I guess. I unlocked the door and opened it.

I slowly put the keys back into my backpack, walked inside my house, and closed the door behind me, as slow as it can go.

I walked one heavy step into my house, dropped my backpack to the ground, and let it fall to the floor. I let out a load moan as my backpack fell to the ground and I felt it leaning against the back of my legs. I was at home alone again.

My head went from looking to the right side to the left as slow as possible, with my eyes half open, blinking every second. My head stopped at the left side as my mother's room was in sight.

I took a heavy step towards the direction I looked to. I let my bag lean to the ground as I took another heavy step towards the same direction.

I slowly got to the room's closed door, almost falling on my way with my lack of energy and mostly love. I stood in front of the door, looking at it.

I slowly turned the knob of the door, and slowly pushed it open, letting out a scratchy noise as it opened. I didn't come in this room much, I only clean it once in 2 weeks, I was never bothered with this room.

The sunlight was beaming through the big window on the wall in the middle of the wall on the left, providing light to the whole of the huge bedroom.

The light purple walls, the yellow floor and ceiling, the white curtains on the window and the door at the end of the room, yes, she has her own bathroom.

The wooden wardrobe, the pink king sized bed, the blue cupboards, the black shelves, the wooden night table, the white fluffy oval floor mat, the classy night stand and the light coloured paintings, all those things were neatly arranged in this room, with a big gap in between every single thing, if you were here you would think that someone spends their whole life here, but instead, the person who owns this room hardly spends any time here, she doesn't use many things here, just the bed and the wardrobe, the rest are hardly touched.

It's not like we're that rich or anything, with just one parent, I think she just wants to waste money on stuff she doesn't use so that she can waste time working, so that she doesn't have to spend time with me. My fist clenched together with anger when I thought of what she made me into.

I suddenly felt all my energy come back to me, I guess this much anger and hatred gives you a lot of energy to do something.

I took out my scissors from my pencil case with anger and sadness, thinking about what had happened to me in the past and why it happened. I brought it into my mother's room and went over to the big window.

I held opened the scissors with my right hand and held it underneath the curtain. My eyes widen with anger, hatred, sadness and depression. My eyebrows pushed together with confusement, anger and sadness.

My jaw clenched and my lips stuck together. I felt the strength of my jaw on my teeth and that is how angry I am, that is how depressed I am, that is how helpless I am, that is how messed up I am, that is how my life is now all because of her. This is all because of her.

I started crying with sadness, my eyes still wide open with anger. I was now shaking with sadness, anger, confusion, hatred and depression. My heart beat quickened.

I took a beep breath with shakes in between, and I started. I took all my anger of my mother out with the scissors on the white curtains. I screamed and shouted to take my anger out the whole way through.

The curtain now was ruined and had bits on the floor and flying everywhere. My scissors still in my hand. It felt good. I liked it. I now was in need of something else to ruin, something else to take my anger on, something else that belonged to my mother to destroy.

I looked down at myself with my eyes still wide open with mixed emotions. I was my mothers. I held up my left arm that was now clenched together so hard, the whole thing was red.

I held up my right arm with the scissors in it. I opened the scissors to its biggest wile crying with depression and anger. What else can I do with myself? I'm nothing but junk. Nobody wants me. They all threw me away!

I looked at my right hand, then my left, then back to my right. I shook with depression and held the blade of my scissors closer to my left wrist.

Then, I started cutting with all my strength, one line, deeper, deeper, deeper.....

My eyesight became blurry as I tried to continue cutting. A tear rolled from my eye before my eyes fully shut.

I was now lying on the ground with my scissors already on the ground, a huge cut, and blood dripping everywhere.

Hello people. I love this chapter. I almost cried writing it though. XD Hope you'll like it too.

This chapter has no moral to it so I'm not writing the moral thing.

Don't be a silent reader, comment, vote and follow!

Vote

Comment

Follow