Can I ever forgive? [MAJOR EDITING]

Drop it

I got up from bed as usual, making sure I don't start crying and end up like yesterday. I went into the bathroom, took off my night clothes, and had a shower.

The shower was quite hot, it might even be too hot, but I liked it, it made me relax. I don't know why but when I have a hot shower, all my stress is washed away.

I didn't want to be late again so I had to stop the wonderful god's creation from flowing on me and begin to face reality.

I put on my school uniform and went to the kitchen, which is just a few steps away, as my mother doesn't care about me so she doesn't care about how I live, she doesn't spend much time at all here, she just sleeps here, that's all, her bedroom, is of course, the largest, it's size would be my bedroom, the kitchen and the dinning room combined. Her bedroom door is the closest to the front door, so that she can get in and out quickly. I doubt if she had touched anything else in the house except for the bathroom, she even eats all her meals outside the house, she is never in my house, actually her house, but I wouldn't really consider it that, I spend most of my time in this house and I do all the chores, and, I also live here, not like my mother, she just sleeps here.

I took out bread, butter and jam from the fridge, I remembered buying it from the store the other day. I spread butter on the bread, followed by a layer of jam, I put another slice of bread on top of the slice with butter and jam. I took out a glass and filled it with milk. Wala, my breakfast.

I ate my butter and jam sandwich after washing my hands, I need to keep clean so that I don't get any sort of illness, or my mother will be very angry with me, she never likes it when she has to deal with a sick patient, that's why she's not a doctor or a nurse.

I washed my hands again after my meal. I brushed my teeth well after small tiny bits of my food probably might have got stuck in between my gum and my teeth or in between my teeth, as I said, I am very hygienic, my mother hates paying for dentist bills. I washed my hands again after that.

I picked up my bag and went to the door after checking to see that all that is needed to be brought today was brought. I opened the door and walked out, locking it behind me.

I walked to school with average speed steps, I didn't want to be late, as I would get shouted at and whacked by my teacher, but I didn't want to be early either, as my classmates,I don't want to use the word friends, would bully me and make me feel bad about myself, my life, making me more insecure than I was, ruining my confidence for myself. I wanted to be on time, so that I don't get bullied by my teacher or classmates, but on time is not a welcoming for my teacher if she is in class, she always shouts at people who go into class after her for arriving almost late, I think she just likes to shout at her students, and her main target is me. So, I wanted to arrive a bit before on time.

I arrived at school and walked to my classroom. I saw people staring, pointing and whispering at me, I didn't really care, I get that a lot, and by a lot, I mean a real lot, a huge lot, a gigantic amount, I think you get the message.

Then, suddenly, I saw a hand in front of my, with a thumb facing upwards and four other fingers crunched up to the palm of the hand. It was  about 5cm away from my face, but it looked closer than it actually was in front of my eyes. The hand almost hit my face, I had to block and stop my footsteps to avoid it from hitting me, but the hand's owner kept walking.

I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact of the hand against my face. I started wondering why  I didn't feel any impact on my face after about 2 seconds, I'm not far away from the hand at all, how could it be?

I opened my eyes and there was no hand in sight, I turned around, knowing which direction the hand's owner was walking to before I closed my eyes, and I saw Roary standing near a corner not far from me.

He was looking at me with a cheeky expression, he had bent knees and elbows, like he was ready to turn and run away around the corner any minute. The second I saw him I knew the hand's owner.

I got ready to run for a split second, then started running to his direction with my eyebrows crunched together. He laughed his usual cheeky laugh and ran around the corner as expected.

I followed him around the corner and he kept running. He isn't a fast runner, but so wasn't I, and the weight of my bag was weighing me down.

I chased after him until he ran into the boys toilet. I almost went in as it was hard to stop running after running fast.

I waited outside the toilets for a while with my arms crossed in front of my chest. Then I decided to go to class, I didn't want to get shouted at by my teacher again.

I sat on my seat, waiting for Roary to come back, so that I can get my revenge, a lot of people came to tease me and bully me, but I just gave them my death stare.

Roary arrived. He sat down as fast as he could, knowing the teacher was probably going to come in any time soon. He wanted the teacher to think he was already here for long and ready to study, so he took out his pencil case and sat properly.

He looked to the door innocently waiting for the teacher. A few seconds later, she came in. How does he get away with everything? I payed attention in class to not get shouted at, waiting for break to come.

Soon, it was break, as the teacher walked out, I hid my lips, as I always do before slapping Roary. I was about to raise my hand in the air and give great impact of his arm, he ran off looking back, he was playfully screaming as he ran.

I sighed then headed to the canteen. I decided to drop it this time, I never want to hurt people, I just have anger issues.

I was satisfied as I didn't get shouted at or whacked by the teacher today. I went home happily to do my homework, this time, I won't be that sad to do my homework, what's sad is me getting shouted at and whacked.

Hello fellow readers. How's life?

Just drop it, all the anger that you have can vanish if you decide to drop it, I know it's hard, but try.

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