Baby Lips

chapter 26

My knuckles turned white as I squeezed the strap of my duffel bag that hung off my shoulder. My lips that were just tingling with post-kiss buzz were now cold and dry and quivering. I forced them to form into a smile that I’m sure looked as uncomfortable as it felt. 
 
“Hi Zayn.” I coughed out as he kept his narrowed eyes on mine. I kept looking away and back at him, afraid if I stared at him for too long I’d turn to stone. 
 
“What were you doing with Harry?” He repeated himself. 
 
I closed my eyes and shrugged my shoulders. My head shaking as if the answer to this question was obvious. But it most certainly was not. My brain searched ever file ever stored up there but everything was coming up blank. Sure I could spit out logarithmic functions and inverse trigonometry, but lie to Zayn about why I was leaving Harry’s flat with a goofy grin on my face? Forget about it.  
 
“You know, I- He just took me home from the club last night.” I said as nonchalantly as I could. “I was pretty drunk.” I tried to add a bit of humor, but my fake laugh got cut short when Zayn’s stern facial expression didn’t change. 
 
I began to worry if he had seen mine and Harry’s quick kiss before I left. Then I began to worry if men with big cameras saw the kiss and happened to press the flash button right as our lips met. And then I began to worry about how many mentions on Twitter I would get. Then I thought about Maddie, calling me and screaming in my ear about how I was “shagging Harry Styles”. And then- 
 
Oh, make it stop! 
 
“So he was returning the favor then?” Zayn asked. I knit my eyebrows together, very confused but very relieved that Zayn’s mouth had turned from it’s tight pout to a soft smile. Maybe I was better at lying than I thought. “From the night you brought him back to his hotel room when he was completely out of it... don’t you remember?” I smiled and nodded. 
 
“Oh, yeah, of course!” I bobbed my head, thankful that Zayn had practically made up my story as to why I was just with Harry for me. Zayn laughed, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. I sighed at his appearance, lying to him would be much easier if he wasn’t so fun to look at. His hair was pushed back in a black beanie and a heavy hooded sweatshirt covered his upper body. I smiled as his eyes met with mine again. 
 
“So last night was fun,” He began. I nodded trying to push through the memories of Harry and get to the ones of Zayn and I dancing and laughing and genuinely having a good time.  
 
“Really fun.” I shifted my weight from my right to my left, subtly trying to tell Zayn that I wanted to get home and work on my project before time ran out. 
 
“Well, um, if you’re not busy this Saturday... do you want to come over and watch a few films or something?” I blinked a few times, unable to produce an answer. I clutched my bag tighter again as things began to get awkward again. I didn’t want to turn him down, but I didn’t want to accept his offer because I knew that if I was spending time with Zayn on a Saturday night I’d just be wondering what Harry was doing. 
 
“If you don’t want to, you can just tell me.” Zayn whispered. I met his eyes and almost burst into ugly sobs right in front of him. He looked upset as he pressed his lips together, his eyes clouded and hurt. I knew if I turned him down I wouldn’t be able to get the look of his sad puppy dog eyes out of my brain. I inhaled deeply. 
 
“No. No, I would love to.” I smiled at him as I watched his expression change. His eyes lit up again and his mouth formed a bright smile. We exchanged quick goodbyes before I scurried away down the street and hailed the first cab I saw. I tossed my things in before slumping into the backseat. Ignoring the annoyed look I got from the driver through the rear-view mirror, I told him my address and leaned my head against the frosty class window. Nothing was ever simple with these boys.

My body was doing it again. And I hated it.  
 
It seemed like whenever I was under a colossal amount of stress that every single inch of my skeleton ached in pain. Most prominently in my head and lower back, but I still winced each time I moved my pinky toe. And the fact that it was 10:47 PM the night before my final calculus exam that I had failed to study for prior until now caused the pain to come in full force. 
 
I grasped a handful of my knotted hair as I finished up the last problem on a quick review I had found in the back of one my various text books and I knitted my eyebrows together when the answer I ended up with was not the same as the correct answer. I groaned and slammed my mechanical pencil down on my notebook. My hands covered my face and I rubbed my eyes with my pointer finger so rough that when I opened them again, it took a good five minutes for me to regain my eyesight.  
 
I threw my head back on the seat cushions of the couch and watched Newton’s sleeping figure out of the corner of my eye. How nice it must be to be a cat, not a worry in the world except when you are going to be fed next and where you are going to take your twelfth nap of the day. Yeah, I think after I’m done at university I’ll just become a cat.  
 
I got forced out of my kitty daydream when I heard the vibration of my phone rattle the coffee table stacked with papers and note cards. I blinked a few times before reaching for the device, but I quickly sat up straight at the sight of his name on my screen, only to cause a sigh of displeasure at the pain that grew in my back as I did so. I rubbed my back as I answered the call. 
 
“Hi Harry.” I said with a smile, just knowing he was there on the other side of this phone call made my stomach churn nervously. But... in a good way. 
 
“What are you doing?” I smirked at his lack of a greeting, but answered his question anyway. 
 
“Trying to stay awake while studying for my exams.” I slowly leaned back on the couch, not wanting to disrupt the moderate condition of my back pain at that moment. 
 
“Well, I’m on my way to your place.” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief, but then quickly shot up from my seat at the end of my couch and began to pace around the room frantically.  
 
“What?” Was all I could manage to say. I stopped pacing and looked around at my apartment floor. Meaningless items were scattered all around the floor along with a few old dishes and cups, I huffed already starting to tidy up the place I barely ever kept clean.  
 
“I’m quite close actually,” Harry trailed off. “Expect me in about twenty minutes.” He finished. I struggled to keep the phone to my ear as I scooped up a large pile of clothing near my bathroom.Twenty minutes? That wasn’t nearly enough time to clean this place up. Couldn’t he have called early? Or couldn’t he just have called to talk? I need a distraction, but cleaning up my flat was not the one I was looking for. 
 
“Why?” I asked, feeling like a four-year-old that asked too many one word questions. Harry laughed on the other line. 
 
“Why? Because you didn’t call me. So I thought I’d come over to see what’s been keeping you so busy.” I smiled at his response, gathering up the dirty plates and setting them in the sink as quickly as possible.  
 
“You know me, I’m quite the busy gal.” I joked and leaned against the counter for a split second before realizing how much of a pigsty I still had in front of me. Harry laughed again and I could feel my cheeks turn warm. 
 
“I’ll see you soon, Scar.” He said before disconnecting the call. I let the phone fall into my hand before I chucked it on my bed and ran madly around my living room picking up as much as I could fit in my grasp and tossing it in a place where it looked like it belonged. After making my floor look somewhat presentable, I hurried into the bathroom and made a noise of disgust as I saw the condition my face was in. I splashed water on my smudged make-up, washing it off and dabbing my face with a towel. I threw my hair up in a pony tail because trying to tame that beast would be a whole new adventure I did not want to go on. 
 
I quickly scanned my outfit consisting of my favorite black leggings and a comfortable sweater I wore on days where I felt colder than usual. My slipper boots warmed my feet and when I heard the buzzing from my call box by the door, I realized there was no time to change my clothes and Harry was just going to have to accept the fact that this was as good as it was going to get tonight. 
 
Hey, he was the one who only gave me a twenty minute warning. 
 
I grew more nervous with each step toward my door. Harry wasn’t even on the same story of this building and I felt like he was right behind me, breathing down my neck, making me squirm with each hot huff he exhaled on my skin. With a shaky finger, I pressed the button and spoke quietly. 
 
“Yes?” I elongated the word, waiting patiently for his reply. 
 
“Let me in woman, it’s freezing out here!” His voice was muffled from the poor quality speakers. I laughed lightly before pressing another button and hearing the door click open. I didn’t know what to do with myself for this short amount of time before he would be knocking on my door. So, I just stood there. Rocking back and forth on my slipper covered feet, waiting all too anxiously for that knock. I snapped my fingers a few times before the knuckle-to-door noise rang through my ears and I paused for a moment before opening the door. 
 
Not wanting to seem too eager, I took a long, slow deep breath before putting my hand on the door knob and turning it open. It would be tortuous not to smile when I saw Harry, his right hand stuffed in the pocket of his jeans, the left hand grasping a four pack of Red Bull. His long upper body covered by a faded red sweatshirt that showed off his torso much better then he would probably ever know. I gestured toward the energy drinks in his hand. 
 
“What’s that for?” I asked, still smiling aimlessly at him. 
 
“You did say you were trying to stay awake, right?” He lifted the beverages up and placed them in my open hands. “Thought that would help.” He smiled and strode into my flat as I stepped aside in the doorway, welcoming him in. “But, I could think of some other things we could do if you wanted to be up all night.” Harry dropped his right eyelid into a wink and I laughed nervously, walking past him and setting the Red Bull on the coffee table and opening one. 
 
Harry plopped down on the couch behind me and shifted his weight foreword, resting his elbows on his knees and intertwining his fingers together. I forced myself to look stop staring at how beautiful those things were. Hands, who would have thought I’d be so attracted to someone that I would even think their hands were beautiful? 
 
“So what are we studying?” He asked as I watched his eyes scan the hundreds of papers thrown about the top of the coffee table. I smiled at how concentrated he looked. 
 
“Well, I’m studying these stupid proofs I can’t seem to ever get right.” I said turning my attention back to my paper and I saw Harry shrug out of my peripheral vision. I rolled my eyes and continued to focus on the problem that I was taking a second stab at, hoping that this time I would actually get it the correct answer. I scribbled notes on my paper and flipped through my notebook, looking for the notes I took in class on this certain topic, but got distracted at the sound of Harry sighing and making weird noises with his mouth. I looked up at him with a look of annoyance. 
 
“I’m bored.” Harry said as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back on the couch. 
 
“You haven’t even been sitting there for five minutes, Harry.” I laughed at him. 
 
“I know, but I’m bored.” He repeated himself. 
 
“Well if you’re bored,” I mocked his accent and watched him smirk as I did so, “turn on the television or something.” I shrugged glancing back down at my text book. 
 
“But I don’t want to watch it. I want to talk to you.” I bit my lip, trying not to grin like a giddy little idiot in front of him for making that comment. I set my pencil down and turned toward him, the pain in my lower back that I thought had subsided for the night coming back with a large shock that jolted my spine. I scrunched my nose up as I reached behind me to rub my back. 
 
“Why are you doing that?” Harry nodded toward my hand.  
 
“My back just hurts a little.” I lied. It hurts a lot, it hurts like a bitch. Like stubbing your toe and biting your tongue and poking yourself in the eye all at the same time kind of pain. 
 
“You know, people tell me I give great back massages.” Harry fought back a smirk. I shook my head at him. 
 
“Oh yeah? What people tell you that?” I asked, laughing sarcastically. 
 
“Just people.” Harry blinked slowly, his tongue running over his lips after he spoke. I cocked my head to the side as I continued to stare at him. I pushed myself off the ground to stand up in front of him. 
 
“Okay, then prove it.” Harry stood up and quickly towered over me, making me feel inferior once again. 
 
“Lie down, then.” Harry motioned toward the couch, I sighed and did as he told me too, lying down on my stomach and turning my head to face him. With my cheek smushed against the couch, I’m sure I looked quite attractive for him.  
 
But, my comfortableness with this situation quickly changed when I saw the smirk on Harry’s face as his eyes floated across my body. My stomach tightened and butterflies hatched from their cocoons and wouldn’t stop flapping their wings made of goose feathers that tickled my insides in the strangest of ways. Harry positioned each of his legs on either side of my body. My somewhat steady breathing hitched as I felt him hike up the back of my sweater. 
 
He ran his whole palm along my back before he began to knead slow circles in my skin with his thumb. My eyelids fluttered shut as I felt him relieve the sharp pain with each deep rub. As his thumbs continued to circle, his fingers traveled lightly along my sides leaving behind a trail of goose bumps at their soft touch. Harry’s hands traveled farther up my back, my sweater being pushed up with it. I let out a small sigh of relief when he kneaded a particularly aching spot.  
 
While he continued to progress up my back with his hands, I could feel the warmth of his breath fanning over the skin of my back before he pressed his lips against it. Another sigh escaped me as he repeated the kisses all the way up my spine, until I could smell the spearmint gum he was chewing as he exhaled close to my ear. His lips brushed lightly against my neck and his thumbs hooked under the cotton material of my sports bra. I took in a shaky breath as my eyelids ripped open. I squirmed underneath him and pushed my sweater back down my torso and sat up quickly, shuffling toward the opposite corner of the couch. 
 
“I think you proved yourself.” I mumbled into my chest. And he actually did, because my back was feeling much better after that... massage. My shoulders tensed as silence fell upon us. Harry had this way of taking something so simple and making it so sensual. So intimate. So... so holy-crap-let’s-bang-right-now kind of feeling. But I couldn’t do that, not now at least, not with someone like Harry. Harry was obviously much more experienced in the sexual field of study than I was, and I was not in the mood of making a fool out of myself by trying to make it out like I wasn’t a virgin when indeed I was Virgin Mary herself. 
 
“So...” Harry broke our goopy silence. “Do you  have any plans for Christmas?” I laughed and reached for the energy drink I had opened earlier and took a slow sip before responding. 
 
“Wait for my Christmas slash birthday check from my mom and dad and watch A Christmas Story with Newton. Maybe bake gingerbread cookies by myself, you know, only if I’m feeling crazy.” I shook my head and laughed at my pathetic form of humor. Harry laughed lightly along with me. 
 
“So you’re not, like, going home or anything?” Harry shifted his body so he was facing me. 
 
“Well, home is pretty far away for me so, no.” I shook my head as I responded. I scooted closer toward Harry. 
 
“When’s the last time you were home?” He questioned and moved closer to me. 
 
“I was in New York last summer for about a month, but that wasn’t as great as I hoped it would be.” Harry’s arm was now wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me down to lie next to him. I obliged and nuzzled my head into his chest as his hand squeezed my shoulder. 
 
“I’m sorry.” Harry said. I wasn’t quite sure why he was apologizing. For the fact that he brought up a sensitive subject or the fact that I had such a shitty time in New York. 
 
“It’s alright. My dad can just be... mean.” Harry’s right hand reached down for my left as he roped our fingers together. I smiled at his actions. 
 
“Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if your parents were still together?” I clutched onto Harry’s hand harder. 
 
“Everyday.” 
 
“Like, do you ever think that maybe you would be a completely different person with a completely different outlook on life?” The words Harry spoke were as if he was dissecting my brain and extracting my exact thoughts. 
 
“All the time.”  
 
We laid in silence for awhile. I could only hear Harry’s steady breaths and the sound of his heart beating through his chest. Our fingers continued to toy with each other as he made tiny circles on the back of my hand with his thumbs; his hands I had been admiring before looking much larger compared to mine. Like they were meant to be there, to protect them. 
 
“Scarlett,” Harry said, I shifted my eyes from out connected hands to him. I nodded for him to continue. “What if you come with me to my mum’s house for Christmas?” He asked. I immediately shook my head. Was he crazy? Me, come home to meet his family? Jesus was there a wedding I didn’t know about? 
 
“Harry, I can’t do that.” I continued to shake my head. 
 
“Sure you can.” He smiled “My mum loves company. Especially hot, American girls called Scarlett.” I rolled my eyes, but laughed at the cheeky grin Harry gave me. 
 
“Shut up.” I mumbled into his chest.  
 
“Seriously, Scarlett you really should come with me.” He continued to urge. 
 
“I don’t want to intrude on your family’s holiday, Harry, I just- I can’t do that.” I continued to protest. 
 
“Look, I can’t stand the thought of anyone being alone of Christmas, let alone you, Scar.” Harry’s grip on my hand tightened. “So please just come with me, you’re not doing anything else.” I looked up at him, his emerald eyes pleading mine. I looked away. 
 
My mind buzzing with thoughts varying from calculus proofs to more reasons why I shouldn’t join Harry and his family for Christmas. The offer he gave me was unbelievably generous, but I couldn’t bring myself to accept it. I was all too apprehensive about it. 
 
“I’ll think about it.” I sighed. Harry laughed and shook his head, knowing that it was probably best to drop the subject. But I was proved wrong when he gave it one last shot, 
 
“You know how I could help you make up your mind?” He asked. I sighed. 
 
“How could you do that?” 
 
“If you let me take you on a proper date.” I needed no convincing, I needed nothing more than the look in Harry’s eye when he asked me on  a real date. Harry Styles asking me on a date.  
 
What?  
 
I couldn’t fight the smile that grew on my lips. 
 
“Okay.” I whispered. Harry hugged my shoulder close to him once more and planted a soft kiss on top of my head. I smiled, feeling absolutely no effect from that energy drink, and began to doze off. 
 
What seemed like not even five minutes later, Harry was whispering my name, stirring me from my sleep. I opened one eye at a time and smiled lazily up at Harry, who seemed wide awake. 
 
“I should probably get going.” Harry said. 
 
“What time is it?” I asked poking my head up from his chest and searching around my flat for some kind of clock as if I didn’t already know where one was. 
 
“Three in the morning.” Harry answered before I could find the time for myself. I huffed and shook my head, deciding right then that I would just have to wing my calc exam and hope to God that it is easy. I pushed myself off of Harry and off of the couch and Harry did the same. I opened the door for him and followed him out and down the steps and finally to the final door of the apartment building, he pivoted on his heels before leaving. 
 
“So for our date,” He emphasized the word. “does Saturday sound good for you?” 
 
“Saturday sounds great.” I replied with a grin. Harry began to turn the knob to the door as he spoke, 
 
“Are you sure you don’t just want to agree on coming to my mum’s house now?  I mean we can still go out Saturday and everything.” I rolled my eyes at him, playfully pushing his chest. 
 
“I told you I’d think about it!” I ranted to him. He ran his tongue over his lips before letting go of the door and letting it slam shut behind him. His hand grasped my waist as he slowly closed the gap between us. 
 
“But maybe this will help, too.” He murmured before pressing his lips against mine. Without hesitation, I kissed back, my hands wrapping around his neck and my fingers getting lost in his curls. His tongue entered my mouth as I opened it slightly and I let his dominate against mine as I mentally cursed him for being such a fabulous kisser. His hand around my waist pulled me closer to his body as our kiss grew more passionate and the spearmint taste that still lingered in his mouth was now the only thing I could taste. I began to pull away from our contact, but felt him lightly take my bottom lip between his teeth. I smiled and tugged it away as he laughed.  
 
“So is that a yes, you’ll come to my mum’s house?” He huffed as our foreheads were still touching, his nose brushing against mine. 
 
“I’ll see you Saturday.” I whispered. Harry pulled away and shook his head, a smirk still painted on his swollen, pink lips. 
 
“You’re killing me, Scarlett.” He said as he put his hand back on the door knob and twisted it open, the cold December air flowing past us both. 
 
“I know.” I smirked back at him. He quickly pecked my lips once again and jogged down the steps, stopping at the last one to look back and wave before bounding down the street while fishing for his car keys in his back pocket.

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