Broken Rules - Phan

Part 8

(***** symbolises a skip in time, if it's a large skip it will say so but it'll usually just be a few hours or so)
It had been a week since the weird not-kiss and Phil was not letting me forget about it.
"Yeah but her mouth touched mine,"
"Doesn't make it a kiss Danny boy," we'd sat in our usual spot by the orchards after skipping sermon.
"Well I reckon you're just jealous," I smiled at him, and he rolled his eyes at me.
"I the great philgon-"
"Philgon??" I questioned, the laughter burning my chest and my eyes squinting.
"Yeah," the sunlight dappled through the trees and struck his face.

The sun seemed to wither compared to him. If that makes sense. His eyes made the sky look like a failed watercolour and his skin glowed more than any kind of orb could. He seemed to look natural anywhere, and his beauty surpassed any landmark I could ever witness.

I noticed that he had a pencil out and his sketchbook,
"Can I see now?" I asked, he looked up at me. He was sat with his hip touching a tree whilst he was lying on his stomach. Phil's eyes glanced up at me as he pondered,
"No," he said, and swiped a thick graphite pencil over the sheet. I let him draw and watched his frame. I watched his tattoos change shape as he grasped the pencil at different strengths, I watched him lick the inside of his lip ring and I watched his slender fingers hold the pencil with casual expertise.

He flicked through the book, his eyes darting from me to the pages.
"Here," he showed the page to me. "This is an okay one, I thought it would be okay to show you." I could tell that his sketches meant a lot to him. And that this one probably didn't mean much if he was showing it to me. But the lines of red and yellow burnt through the page and the colour orange soaked into the background like a subtle sea. I had then decided, this book wasn't full of sketches. It was full of art. Phil's work made me feel things, it tugged at my heart and played with my mind. The fire-like piece of art set me alight with emotions and I'd never felt like that before. I'd never experienced a piece of paper giving me such raw and intense emotion. But it was brilliant. And it was art.

"What's a real kiss then?" I asked, piercing through the silence. He looked at me again with a look I had yet to place,
"Did you open your mouth?" Phil said with a soft, controlled voice. I stammered a little,
"No,"
"There you go then," he flicked his pencil between his middle and left finger on his right hand.

******
Lessons were boring; that's why I haven't talked about them much. You see when someone writes about their day it would be boring to talk about double algebra unless something spectacular happened in it. I talk about Phil because he is spectacular. Every moment I spent with his was worth memorizing. Worth marvelling at. Because his outlook, his gentle spirit and his fresh perspective made the whole world look different to me. And it was in said double algebra, that I started to realise that. And that, that was spectacular.

I started to question the way I viewed him, the way I watched him. Chris was my giant ball of hormonal trash that happened to be the greatest whore on the planet. But Phil, I couldn't possibly find words for Phil. He was... He was just Phil. Everything about him was complex and detailed. He was both perfect and broken in the same amount. When I imagined Chris or PJ, they were more like evenings out by the fountain and endless antics. Whereas I wanted to sit with Phil and listen to him talk for hours. Just so I could hear his voice.

I wanted to hear Phil talk to me about his deep and shallow thoughts. I wanted to smell his cheap, shitty perfume whack me in the face after his afternoon shower. I wanted to watch him squint his eyes as the sun struck him through the trees. I wanted to hear his laugh resonate throughout the orchard. I wanted him to want me. And I think that's what hurt most of all.

~~~~~~~

Yes finally feelings
We love feelings in the phandom
I honestly don't know why I'm leaving author notes
Bc this isn't going to be popular
But I guess a few people will enjoy it so it's kinda worth it.
And, you know what they say, the best art is hard to find ( ._.   )