Broken Rules - Phan

Part 13

The Christmas holidays had approached, much to my dismay. I really wasn't in the festive mood. The change of autumn to winter was fast and practically overnight. Sitting up in my bed, I let the darkness envelope me. I let it take me.

My eyes were heavy and hurt every time I blinked. As I let the morning sink in, my mind remembered Lester and the few days I'd been ignoring him. I'd been ignoring every one. I took in a large amount of breath, and let myself sigh as I took my head into my hands.

There was a soft knock on my door and a girl with black, curly hair plopped down in front of me.
"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice tainted and full of lies, "I haven't seen you in ages," there she was twisting the conversation on her again, "we're meant to be best friends,"
"Dottie you better fucking leave before I actually punch you," I mumbled through my hands,
"You wouldn't hit a girl," she playfully flitted her eyes and smiled slyly,
"Trust me I'm not sexist," her grin disappeared and her eyes were cold and spelled out ice,
"I did it because you're stupid and you don't understand what's best for you," I stood up and she did too,
"What's best for me then?!" My voice cracked slightly as I tried to prevent shouting,
"Me," I looked at her with eyes of disgust and as she went to kiss me I pushed her back gently in the upper stomach.

I walked past her, my stature high but my insides boiling like a hot saucepan of water,
"Guys who like guys go to hell!" She shouted from behind me. As I stopped, I plucked a quick insult from my head and shot it at her like a bullet,
"I'll see you there then."

"I was going to warn you," Chris said to me, twiddling a black pen in his hand, "well just tell you how weird she's been acting," I raised an eyebrow at him, "weirder than usual," we both smiled because Mrs Casey was not keen on loud people. Meaning she was not keen on Chris. "She was being so obsessive, 'where's Dan, have you seen Dan. Why is Dan with him, why isn't Dan here'. It was getting annoying," I smiled weakly at him, signalling apology.

Maths wasn't Chris' strong point, and I wasn't completely sold on it. I mean, I was kind of good at it, I was mildly good at most things. But this gave me an advantage to talk to Chris, pretend I was tutoring him.
"Did you bite her?" I smiled at him,
"Nah she's not my type,"
"She has a vagina no?" He punched my arm and I rubbed it dramatically,
"I reckon as soon as I lifted her top it would have this massive censor bar," he made a rectangle shape over his chest, "saying 'only for Daniel," I punched him harder in the arm and he winced,
"You're such a whore," I laughed at him, and Mrs Casey made a disapproving look,
"And apparently you're a little bit gay," Chris stared daggers into the side of my head as my eyes burnt through the desk. "It doesn't bother me if you're wondering," my face softened and I sighed thankfully, "I'll fuck anything with legs."

For some strange reason Chris had made me feel better. I mean he had low-key come out to me. In his own way. I walked across the frosty ground and watched my warm breath twist as white gas in front of me. For a minute, I was at peace.

I'd always loved winter, not because Christmas was just around the bend, or because the snow on the ground stopped school. I loved the dark mornings, the warm, homely food, the way the snow halted even the most powerful of vehicles and the way that outside, it could pour the most harsh rain I'd ever seen, but I would be inside, warm and cooped away from it all. I was warm in winter. It felt like home.

The frost had started to glue itself to the ground, to the point where the grass crunched when you stepped on it. I loved that. And even though I was wearing one coat and a scarf, the cool air managed go drip down my neck like a leaky tap.

I was so entranced by the crisp grass and the clean air sharp in my nose, that I didn't notice the ebony haired boy emerging from the crystal coated horizon.
"Dan?" I snapped from my pale, snow covered mind to hear my brain shatter and my heart drop in my chest. "Dan please listen to me,"
"No," I said, I wasn't ready, it was too soon. I wasn't ready to open up old wounds. Pour salt in them. I was too fragile.

Before I could let words pour from my mouth, feelings burst from my heart and tears cascade down my cheeks, I heard the overhead speaker boom. It shook the grass so hard the frost shivered off, and I could feel the voice pierce every nerve in my spine.

~~~~~~~

Argh we are so close to the end what is life
Not massively close
But like kinda close
(Plus if mia or zoe is reading this fuck you I'm proud of this so suck my asssssss)