Fallen Angel

Chapter 6: Breakfast

I didn't sleep well that night. My dreams were so bright, they hurt my head. They were filled with vivid colors and powerful emotions- emotions I never knew I was capable of. Many faces floated behind my eyelids, many eyes bore holes through my sleeping soul, many voices called me forward just to tell me what I already knew. 

Two voices rang louder than all others. Namine's voice, asking me if I needed "another go at it" was the first voice I heard. Oddly enough, I could hear her light breathing in the background as she slept next to me, as if a part of me was still awake. 

The other voice I heard was from much earlier in the day. Tidus's voice echoed in my head, blurry at first but getting clearer with every syllable. Soon, it was clear what he was saying.  

"So Roxas, do ya ever think about Namine? Ya know, in that special sorta way?" 

I couldn't answer that question myself. Had I ever thought about Namine as more than just a friend? Probably, but I didn't have the courage to admit it to myself. And come to think of it, I hadn't had a decent girlfriend in, well, forever. Is that because I was holding out for Namine? 

I awoke from the journey through my subconscious mind in a cold sweat. I checked the clock on the TV. Half past five. It was a Saturday- no rush to get up, but I didn't exactly want to visit dreamland again. 

I dragged myself to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. The memory of the first time I made coffee with Namine here shot through me like lightning. I cringed. What had happened last night? Had I made a mistake? 

Okay, before you get any thoughts in your head, we didn't do anything more than kiss last night. I'm not denying that the thought crossed my mind, but all we did was kiss a few times, then Namine curled right up against me and fell asleep. 

But I couldn't think about Namine like that. Should I? I couldn't think about Namine like that. But I did. I wouldn't think about Namine like that. No promises. 

I shook the thought from my head, and made the morning wake-up call. The scent of fresh coffee cleared my head. A jog wouldn't do me bad either. 

I took out a pad of sticky-notes and a pen. 

Dear Namine, 

Gone for a jog. Be back in a bit. 

Roxas 

I juggled around the thought of adding an 'I love you' to the bottom of the note. I chose not to write any more than necessary. 

I ran out into the misty air. The jog didn't hurt me, but truthfully, it didn't help me either. I could've helped myself if I confronted my reasoning for not wanting to stay just friends, but not wanting a real relationship with Namine. But I hadn't done it sooner, and now the reasoning was buried so deep inside me that it would take days to dig up. But I couldn't spend days way from Namine- I could barely spend a day away from her. So I had to decide based on how I felt. And, well, as for what I chose... 

I ran into the kitchen to see Namine making breakfast- eggs, pancakes, and bacon. She whirled around to see me. 

"Morning, Rox-" I cut her off with a kiss so big it surprised even me. Our arms found a way around each other. This kiss was more intense, more passionate, than any of the ones before. It was perfect until something started beeping. 

We broke apart and looked at the stove. Everthing was burning. And on fire. Namine saw the flames covering the stove. 

She wrapped her arms around herself. "No," she whispered in soft fragmented sentences, "No. No fire. Gone. Fire. Burning. No..." She slowly sunk to the floor to lay down in the fetal position. The sight of flames to her... 

I grabbed the movable faucet head from the sink and sprayed the flames- and our breakfast. After a few seconds of running water, the flames were extinguished. I knelt down next to Namine. She finally opened her eyes. 

A tear from her eye splashed against the floor. "Thank you." Her voice was still quiet and scared. I lifted her up slowly and carried her to the couch. 

Another memory flashed through me. A different time, a different day, but the situation was the same. Namine was laying on this very couch, hurt for some reason or another. I bit my lip in pain. I hated seeing her like this. I sat down on the floor beside the sofa. 

I leaned toward her face. She was shivering with her eyes closed, whimpering like an abandoned puppy. I placed my lips softly against hers for second or two before reassuring her, "It's okay, sweetie. Everything's all right." I put my lips back where they belonged- right with hers. She kissed back in recognition. After a few minutes, we stopped. 

"So do you wanna make cereal or clean up first?" Another beautiful smile.