Facade

Chapter 8- Something Great?

I open my eyes and I immediately feel something different. I slowly lift myself up as I groan, wiping the dry drool from my face. Todays the day. I look at my phone which lays on my bedside table. Matthias and I hung out a couple of times after, all of which were wonderful. It was great talking to him, I smile as I think back and get up. I stretch as I take a look at my calendar. It really was it wasn't it? Should I feel excited or something? I know I would've been ecstatic a few weeks ago.

I slowly walk up to my calendar, picking up my maker and I cross out the day before. Was I dreading this? For what reason? It wasn't everyday where I would get to meet my soul mate right? Why aren't I happy? I blow a puff of air and dig around my drawer my drawer.

I scrunch my eyebrows half way through the process and stop. As I put my shirt on I sniffed the air. It was, ordinary. No bacon in the morning. I open the door and hop down the stairs. What was happening? Just as I get to the last step I jump back at a shout.

"Surprise!" My mom shouts with Mikael and Dad by her side, giving a small smile as if they were dragged into this. My mom was holding a blueberry pancake with a sprinkles. Sprinkles, now that was a rare sight. We rarely used sprinkles, I guess this was really a joyous occasion then.

"Thank?" I say hesitantly as I inch forward, taking the plate from my moms hands as Mikael grins at me. My dad smiles, congratulates me, and sits down, taking his newspaper as usual.

"It's the day! Oh aren't you excited?" My mom enthuses. I am aren't I?

"Yeah totally." I nod my head frantically as I take a bite of the pancake, savoring its taste. I smile convincingly at my mom while my brother, out of the corner of my eye stares at me.

"What?" I ask as I eye him, he must be jealous of my pancake. I watch as his expression softens, taking a bite of bacon.

"Nothing." He shakes his head and smiles. Was it nothing? I leave it alone as I think about meeting my soul mate as my heart softly aches. I wince a little and clench my hand. What? Was I really sick?

I softly sigh and I exhale and inhale. If I don't think about it anymore, it won't hurt, I won't be focused on it anymore. I quickly stuff the pancakes into my mouth and get up, putting the plate in the sink.

"I'm going to leave early." I wave and smile. My mom grins at me, thinking that I'm leaving early for the chance to meet my soul mate. I sigh silently as I close the door, grabbing my bike. I set off in the morning, pedaling as fast as I could to get my mind off the ache. I blow a breath of fresh air as I zoom past some classmates a few blocks from the school. Don't think about it, don't think about it.

I wince again, I'm thinking about it. I set my bike along a pole and lock it there, too lazy to actually put it in the rack. I just want to get there in one piece. I quizzically stare in the hallways, I was preparing to meet my soul mate. I don't want it to just spring on me.

As I reach the classroom I see that a group of boys occupy it. As I take a step, I feel a tingling sensation making my hairs stand. I shiver slightly at the feeling, it's weird. Was this the feeling? I widen my eyes as I wait for the group of boys to turn around. As each turn around one by one I wait for the feeling, the shock. But I don't, I don't get the feeling. I scrunch my eyebrows as the my heart rate speeds up and I put my hand to my chest. This was love, right? But where's my soul mate?

I give a questionable sorry look to the group of guys as I leave, biting my lip. What is this? Is this a joke? It's because I used to always think about it right? I turn around, starting to walk until I hear someone clear their throat. I stop in my tracks, my heart is still erratically beating.

I turn around and shudder, there it is, the shock. But it's still... nothing. I look up at the guy who is fated to be my soul mate. As I study him a little I realize I've seen him around school before, with the jocks. His brown hair falls just below his ears and curls at the ends, he gives me a smile which makes me feel... nothing. I cock my head to the side a little, there was no denying that he's attractive but I just don't feel attracted to him.

"Hey." He says, making me jump out of my thoughts. He looks just as awkward as me right now if even more so, he shifts from side to side not knowing what to do. What were we suppose to in a situation like this? Hug each other tightly and profess our never ending love for each other?

"Hi..." I say softly, waving. I didn't feel an immense feeling of love. Love, whatever that emotion is. Is it just the shock and shivers? Is that all there is to love?

It's nothing. I feel it but at the same time I don't. The shock is foreign to me. Is this what it feels like to be in love? It's ordinary, I thought it was going to be this amazing thing but it's not. Love is mere mutual acceptance of one another. All my life I was hyped up for nothing. I scoff under my breath as I make a strained smile "I'll... see you later, I need to do something. I'll see you soon, promise." He seems stunned by my reaction, that I would leave him in the moment but I just need to be alone, to think.

As I leave him alone, rushing past people as soon as I turn right, out of sight I take out my phone. I dial Lana, maybe she's at school already?

"Hey hey." I hear Lana peppily say through the speaker.

"Hey... where are you?" I say softly as I pace myself, making my way to the other side of the school to avoid any possible further confrontation with him.

"Still at home," she says as I hear her cover the phone and say something audible to who I assume it her mother. Great, I can't really talk to her. "Is something wrong? What happened?" Lana asks with a concerned tone.

"I uh, met my soul mate." I sigh, rubbing my face. Am I happy that I met him?

"That's great!" Lana excitedly says but pauses as she hears my silence," Isn't it?"