Facade

Chapter 12- Wrong Love Part 2.

I jump at the sound of the door bell and I take a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling as my mom makes a shooing motion to make me open the door. I plaster my best smile on my face as I open the door, this should go well.

Nick and his mom Diane stand at the doorway with an equally big smile. Nick looks at me with curiosity, as if he'll see a new side of me since we've only had short conversations. He's wearing a button down shirt and Diane wears a somewhat formal dress. She has a spark in her eyes and her smile grows wider as I greet them and show them in the house.

"It is such a pleasure to meet you, Nick has told me so much about you." Diane says as she hands me flowers making Nick fidget at her words on the side. What exactly has he told her? We haven't had a steady enough conversation for us to know anything about each other.

She eagerly looks around the room, examining each and everything to it's last detail as if she was inspecting us.

I say a quick thank you as I excuse myself to hunt down a vase and my mother steps in from the kitchen, taking my place. From the other room I hear her and Diane making small talk as I manage to find a vase from the cabinet. Luckily my mom is a conversationalist, an expert on small talk. I set the vase with the flowers at the middle of the dinner table, arranging them nicely just as Mikael appears at my side.

He pats lightly on my shoulders as we reenter the living room and I see Nick shifting side to side next to the couch. He looks uncomfortable, not knowing what to do in the situation. His hair loosely dangled by the sides with every move, making me softly chuckle.

As I walk up to him, Mikael follows me. Nick looks up, surprised and quickly holds out his hand,"I'm Nick."

Mikael grins, enjoying the moment of superiority since he's is younger than Nick, "Mikael." He nods. The next few seconds are spent in silence with fidgeting and the reverting of eye contact. Needless to say it's unpleasant.

"Dinner!" My mom shouts from the dining room, breaking the silence and getting our attention. As we walk in, my dad appears and strikes up a conversation with Diane, something about school. Great, one more person to liven the mood.

We all gather around the table and take our seats, I sit across from Nick as my dad sits at the head of the table with my mom on his left. I take a bite of my food as my mom asks a question "so how's soccer going?"

Nick raises his eyebrows as the question, not expecting it and Diane beams at the question, "It's going quite well." He starts to say "the season started off on a bad note but we're we've won three times in a row already." He proudly says as Diane nods in approval.

I slowly nod, showing that I'm processing the information as I take a sip of water.

"That's great, then," my mom acknowledges and moves "what are you plans for the future?" My dad perks up at the question and listens in as Mikael sticks his fork in his mashed potatoes, clearly bored already.

"Well I'm still a bit undecided but I'm planning to apply in medicine." Nick smiles sheepishly. Medicine, so a doctor I guess. That'd be cool. I look down and shove a mouthful of string beans in my mouth. I'm still not even exactly sure what I'm going to be doing yet.

Diane implants herself into the conversation as a proud mom and takes full reigns, swooping into the conversation "whatever choice he makes I'm sure he will be plenty busy. Lilith will be taking care of the house won't she?"Silence filled the room with her words. I raise my eyebrows at her comment as does Nick, as if he had no idea what his mother was talking about. She wants me to be a housewife? I don't want to sit idly in the house and do chores all day. I'm not letting that take up the rest of my life, I'm just not that type of person, I want a job and something to fill my days up.

"I uh don't think I'm going to be around the house that much either." I clear my throat as Nick gives me a small smile. My mom and dad still looked stunned at her comment but nodded in agreement at my small rebuttal.

"Well I'm sure that can be up for discussion." Diane smiles, as if she has a say in my occupation which she does not whatsoever. Whatever my future holds, she will not be embedded in it. Mikael gives a small snort which everyone ignores, making me smile.

After dinner which I'm sure was even more awkward than before after that whole housewife comment. Nick and Diane had to leave right after because of something I hadn't really been bothered to listen to.

Diane seemed nice but she was so adamant on her opinions, she didn't account for anyone else's opinions. I honestly don't know what Nick wants. I don't know if his choices are actually Diane's or not. I can't even imagine what his father is like, docile or just like Diane.

I shuffle back and forth in my place as I look down at the floor. I never really notice how nice the tiles outside are until I'm in an awkward moment. Appreciate the small things. Diane is already inside the car, no doubt staring at us to see any major development in our relationship.

Nick clears his throat, making me look up. He seemed really nervous before and I now realize why. He shifts his balance as he leans forward and I hold my breath. This can't be happening. Just a few inches away from his face I dip back and he opens his eyes to see what happened. I see the confusion in his eyes as he scrunches his eyebrows a little.

I internally groan, this could not be any more awkward. I start to ramble as he backs away and I see a little bit of color in his cheeks "I-I'm sorry, this is only really the first time that we've really met and I know that we're soul mates but-"

"No, it's okay. I understand." He sheepishly says "I shouldn't have done that. Well uh see you later then." He quickly leaves me standing there on the porch as he walks to his car where I get a glimpse of Diane. She's obviously not happy. I don't want to be a housewife and I didn't give her son a good nights kiss.

I let out a sigh as I watch them drive away, their tail light disappearing down the street, leaving me to lean on the wall. I don't really feel anything with Nick, it's not anything really. He's nice and all but that's it. He's my soul mate and yet what I feel with him is less than what I feel with Matthias.

I cock my head as my thoughts turn to someone else. Matthias. It is stronger isn't it. Love is supposedly on of the strongest emotions but... there's nothing strong at all for Nick. And then there's Matthias. I scrunch my eyebrows as I let out a huff. Matthias, he's just... I don't know. I like everything about him so why I can't I feel that way about Nick?

I suck in all the air as I feel my heart rate slow down. I hear the blood rushing in my ears as I realize my dilemma. Love? What is it? Is it something we're suppose to feel for our soul mates? Is it unconditional? Why do I feel it for someone else who's not my soul mate.

I feel my eyes water at the questions. I fell in love with someone else? No, Matthias has a soul mate. I angrily wipe at tears that threaten to fall. I can't love him, he loves someone, certainly not me. I feel my chest ache and I clutch my shirt, the same ache which I felt many times before and I just now realize what it is. It's anguish. It's literal heartache.

I can't love him.